


Life in Technicolor II

by leonhart_17



Series: Life in Technicolor [6]
Category: Grey's Anatomy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-11
Updated: 2013-07-07
Packaged: 2017-12-05 01:00:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 18
Words: 71,106
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/717061
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/leonhart_17/pseuds/leonhart_17
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Life changes in an instant, turns on a dime... and things don't go the way Callie Torres ever wanted them to.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Arizona Robbins knew before she opened her eyes that she was naked. The cool sheets under her hands told her that she was alone in her bed. Cracking open one eye told her that she was also taking up the vast majority of the mattress, spread eagle right in the middle. It was just _so_ hot, too hot for clothes, or for snuggling. Shuffling toward the side of the bed, she was glad to see that Callie wasn't on the floor. At least she hadn't shoved her out of bed this time.

At barely two months pregnant, she wasn't showing yet but she was starting to feel the differences in her own body, one of which was an overly sensitive stomach that sent her rushing to the bathroom at least once a day. They might have a very picky eater on their hands. Relaxing back into the mattress, Arizona rubbed a hand across her still flat stomach. “Hey, bubba. How you doing in there today?” she asked of the child growing inside her. When Callie had been carrying Sofia, they'd both talked to their growing baby as 'she.' Now she was carrying what felt like their son. It was too early to know anything either way, but she just _felt_ it. She was having their little boy.

Callie came into the bedroom at that moment, hesitating just inside the door with a gorgeous grin on her face. “You want some privacy there, babe?”

Rolling her eyes Arizona sat up, smirking at her wife. “You perve – and would I do _that_ in front of the baby, Calliope?” 

The brunette just shrugged, unapologetic. “ _I_ do that _for_ you in front of the baby...” she pointed out reasonably.

Her eyes rolled again. “No, I was just waiting to see if the little man was going to make me sick this morning.”

Full lips pursed in sympathy and Callie frowned. “He's still doing that? Be nice to Mama, little dude.”

Arizona snorted and slid to the side of the bed. One of Callie's shirts was on the floor and she pulled it over her head, liking the way it hung just a little long on her. “Our baby boy is not a 'little dude', Calliope,” she reminded her fondly, and not for the first time. “And since when do you say 'dude?'”

Shrugging, Callie watched her stretch. “I guess I picked it up from Alex.”

“Where'd you sleep?” asked Arizona, yawning and tousling her hair with one hand. Callie couldn't blink lest she miss a second of her wife being the most gorgeous woman alive. When she didn't get an answer Arizona gave her a look over her shoulder, smirking at the expression on her wife's face. “Calliope, did I kick you out of bed or what?” she asked again, laughing.

“No, I'm just better friends with the edge of the bed this morning,” Callie answered her, moving forward and wrapping her arms around Arizona's narrow waist, hands sliding under the fabric of her shirt. “How'd you sleep? I know you were hot last night.”

Arizona snuggled back into her. “I'm hot all the time,” she corrected her with a giggle.

Humming, Callie leaned in and kissed her neck lightly, hands starting to roam. “Yes, you are.”

Sudden, loud footsteps made her hands retreat, withdrawing with a final quick kiss before little eyes saw anything they shouldn't. “She's still _awesome_ at that timing, isn't she?” asked Arizona hypothetically, sliding into a pair of panties and shorts.

Callie caught her hips and pulled her back into her arms, face to face with her wife. “Yes, but she's cute.” She took another soft kiss, smiling. “Like her mama.”

“Mama! Mami!” Sofia greeted them as she tore around the corner of the doorway into their bedroom. She had Arizona's cellphone in her hand and held it up over her head as she ran to them. “Catch!” she ordered, jumping and trusting one of her parents to catch her. Hurriedly, Callie stepped in and swooped her up before Arizona had two children to carry. “Phone for you,” announced the little girl, holding it up.

She'd been warned about answering their phones if she didn't see the picture of someone she knew on the screen – Tim or Teddy, Alex, or Carlos. “Who is it?”

“He says he's my Uncle Nick,” answered Sofia cheerfully, fumbling the phone as she squirmed in her mother's arms.

Arizona and Callie exchanged confused glances. “Nick?”

“Who's that?” Callie asked, frowning and taking the phone. “Who the – who is this?”

“No, Nick is – put it on speaker,” interjected Arizona quickly, familiar with her wife's protective tone. “Nick?”

“Phoenix, there you are!” said the man on the other end of the line. “Good work, Sofia!”

“Welcome, Uncle Nick!” Sofia happily answered.

“No!” Callie interjected. “You don't call him that,” she ordered. “I don't know who you are...”

“Calliope, it's okay,” Arizona cut in again. “This is Nick Jordan. We grew up together. He's one of mine and Tim's friends from the base.”

He scoffed on the other end. “I think we were more than _just_ friends, Flagstaff!”

Callie couldn't help it, her jaw dropped. The reaction made Sofia laugh, but Arizona grimaced. It was all the confirmation Callie needed. “ _What?!_ ”

“It's not like it sounds...” Arizona started, eyes wide. “We were like family. Not – _anything_ else.” She scowled at the phone. “And _you_ know that, Nick.”

“You know you love me, Tempe,” he returned smugly, not sounding fussed about her annoyance.

“Mama loves Mami!” Sofia chimed in sternly, matching her mother's scowl. The idea that someone could say anything different was completely foreign to her three year old mind.

Callie smiled, hugging Sofia fondly. “Yeah,” she agreed in the same defensive tone, though she was playful now. She wasn't Arizona's first relationship, she knew that. And her own past included more than one man. And Arizona Robbins was everything a person could want in a partner... So she really couldn't blame this Nick.

“Yeah, speaking of that – you got married and popped out a kid and Tim did the same and you didn't call me?” Nick questioned. “I'm hurt!”

“You're the one who moved to freaking Tibet or somewhere!” Arizona countered. “We would have called if we'd have a phone number! Where are you calling from now? China, Brazil, Antarctica?”

He coughed, hesitating. “Actually, I'm at SeaTac. I could use a ride if you're free. Or Timmy. I called him, but his phone went to voicemail.”

“He's a little busy with the twins. They're sick right now,” Arizona told him, brows furrowing as she tried to work it out.

“My cousins,” Sofia told him proudly from Callie's arms.

“That's right, baby,” said Arizona, confused. “Wait, you're in Seattle? You're here? Why?”

Nick hesitated again, not speaking for a long moment. “I'd rather just talk when I see you. Can you pick me up?”

Breathing deeply, Arizona met Callie's eyes. She had a patient coming in this morning, and a department meeting after that. Alex could cover with the patient, but she had to be at the meeting. “I'll come,” Callie volunteered into the silence.

“And me!” announced Sofia, bouncing against Callie's side. “I'm going too!”

“Nick?” Arizona checked. “That work for you? It's my girls or you can take a cab to the hospital.”

He laughed. “You know escorted by pretty women will always be my style. And since I know your type, Robbins, I'll just look for the prettiest brunette I see with a little girl. Sof, how old are you, princess?”

“Three and a three quarters,” she answered him proudly.

“Well, then I'll look for a stunning brunette with the cutest three year old on the planet, am I right?” Nick asked with a laugh. “I know I've got your number, Phoenix.”

Blushing, Arizona glanced shyly at Callie, who was smirking smugly. Her wife had a type. Interesting. “Yeah, whatever,” the blonde groused. “Has your flight landed yet?”

“We're touching down in about forty-five minutes. The flight attendants are giving us the warning to turn our phones off now.”

“We'll be there when you land,” Callie promised before Arizona hung it up. “So,” she started after a pause, “you've got a type, huh? Very interesting.” Arizona just chewed on her lip. “I think I might like getting to talk to this Nick,” she teased. “And you're sure he's not a creepy weirdo?”

“No, he's fine. I wouldn't send you to meet anyone I wasn't sure about,” Arizona answered with a shy smile.

“And how have I never heard of someone who was one of you and Tim's best friends growing up?” questioned Callie curiously. “I was under the impression you didn't have any ex-boyfriends...”

“I don't!” denied Arizona. “Nick was the last guy I ever kissed!” Callie's eyebrows rose and Sofia wisely squirmed free of her mother's arms, dashing down the hall to her own room. “And the first guy – the only one who mattered, I mean.” She was stammering, fidgeting. It was adorable. 

Arizona was married to _her_. Whoever he was in the past, Nick was not a threat to her, to their marriage, their family. The family that was currently growing by one in her wife's womb. But she had an undeniable thing for nervous Arizona. It was super cute to see her confident, collected wife lose just a little bit of that calm sometimes.

“I didn't know there were _any_ guys that mattered in your history,” Callie commented, still sounding simply curious.

“Nick doesn't matter like _you_ matter,” declared Arizona passionately. “Nobody matters like you matter and you know it.”

Callie smiled, hand sliding over her wife's shoulder, up her neck and into her hair. “I know that. And maybe I'm a little surprised, but I'm not mad. We both have histories. We're together now. That's all that matters.” Relieved, Arizona smiled back at her. “And not that it matters, I'm just curious, but did you sleep with him?”

Blue eyes went wide again. “Wha- _no_!” A hand slapped Callie's arm as the Latina laughed. “This is _not_ funny, Calliope! I have never and will never sleep with any guy! And Nick is like my brother! We might have kissed once or twice, but it never went anywhere further than that!”

“I'm not accusing you of anything!” Callie caught her hand before the next attempt to smack her arm could land. “You've just never talked about this guy and now I'm finding out that you two were _some_ kind of thing and I've never even heard of him, that's all.” Arizona was chewing on her lip again and Callie squeezed her fingers. “Want to tell me the story? Or maybe explain why I've never even heard the name Nick from you, or Tim, or Mom, or the Colonel?”

Sighing, Arizona's eyes flicked around the room as she tried to gather her thoughts. She wouldn't hide things from her wife, she didn't want that kind of marriage, but the Nick thing had been... complicated. She wasn't entirely sure that Tim wouldn't punch the other man when he saw him again. And they didn't talk about it because it had been... well, complicated. “I'll tell you, I will, but...” She licked her lips, hand Callie wasn't holding slipping unconsciously to cover where their baby grew. “We were kids, Calliope...”

“He hurt you,” Callie finished the statement. “Whatever happened, however he left, he hurt you.” Arizona didn't need to confirm it. “And Tim wasn't crazy about that?” Timothy Robbins would do anything for his little sister, she knew that.

“It wouldn't have been so bad, we just never had time to fix it,” Arizona explained with a deep breath. “Tim deployed, and I left for med school, and Nick got his first international assignment. Things just kind of fell apart all at once.”

“Have you seen him since then?” Callie asked, ceasing her teasing and being sincerely sympathetic. She could see how much this meeting could hurt her wife, the woman she loved.

Arizona's head shook a negative. “Not really. Web chatted a few times, a few more phone calls, just checking in, stuff like that. Nothing in a few years.” She mustered a smile and Callie could see the sadness that kept it from reaching her eyes. “He doesn't know anything about you.” The biggest part of her life and one of her oldest friends didn't even know...

Callie nodded reassuringly. “Well, he will,” she promised. “And I guess we need to have another talk with Sofia about what's not okay to tell strangers.” It won her a real smile, blue eyes finding hers.

“I'm in love with you,” whispered Arizona, both of them hearing Sofia stomping down the stairs.

“Back at you, gorgeous,” Callie answered with a wink and a quick kiss. “Now, you need to get ready for work and I've got to make sure Sof doesn't take the car and go to the airport without me.” She took another, slower kiss. “But we will all meet you at work later, okay?” Her hand joined Arizona's on her middle. “And my little man, you take it easy on your Mama today for me.” Their eyes met and Callie smiled sweetly. “Hey, at least you can tell he's mine, right?”

Blue eyes rolled. “Yes, Calliope, I never, ever forget that he's yours,” confirmed Arizona happily. If he wasn't Calliope's child, he wouldn't be in her womb. This would have never happened with anyone else, ever.

“When are we telling everyone that I knocked you up, anyway?” With her own pregnancy having the sinkhole to heighten their anxiety, they hadn't waited more than two months to share the news of their pregnancy with their family. And Arizona's pregnancy had so far been rough on her physically, but both she and the baby were perfectly healthy. They just hadn't told anyone yet, hadn't had time between their rambunctious three year old, Arizona running her department, and Callie's cartilage research being close to ready for human testing.

“Soon,” answered Arizona, looking down at their hands. “Let's just see why Nick's here, maybe? Then we can deal with that.”

“That's fine,” Callie promised with a nod. “I'll page you when we get to the hospital, okay?”

“Drive safe,” she ordered.

“You too.”

Sofia was already ready and waiting at the door, hopping and trying to reach her coat on the rack. “Mami! Help, por favor!”

“Okay, I gotcha, sweetie.” Callie handed over her raincoat with a smile and opened the door. “You get buckled in!” she called after her when the energetic little girl was off like a shot. “Just like her mother,” Callie muttered to herself fondly. And there were no two people she loved more.

Nick's plane was on time and Sofia was thankfully sticking close in the crowd, standing on her tiptoes to help look for him and holding onto Callie's hand, leaning back into her mother's legs. She jumped when a man met her eyes and grinned, pulling on Callie's fingers excitedly. “Mami!”

“I see him,” Callie acknowledged, free hand on her daughter's head. “Are you Nick?” she asked as he approached, easy, charming grin on his face.

“Calliope?”

“Ooh, no, Callie, please,” she requested, wincing at his use of her full name. No one used that name but Arizona without her cringing. And only the man on that phone call could know that name. “Nice to meet you, I guess.”

He gave her a considering look, not bothering to hide his appraising her. “I _so_ pegged Robbins! You're definitely the most gorgeous one in this airport, _probably_ in Washington if I know our girl.”

Callie smirked. She could see already how he'd been best friends with the Robbins siblings. And she could see how confused, teenaged Arizona could have been hurt by him. He was cute, dark haired, blue eyed, and bearded, but if he'd let Arizona get away she had no sympathy for him. He would never get another shot to rectify that mistake. “Well, she had to get to work, so if you want to see her we'll just go straight to the hospital. Or I can swing you by Tim and Teddy's place if we can get in touch with him, but the boys have been coughing for the last week, so...”

“Hospital is fine,” he interjected, shifting his weight between his feet. “I'm going to have to get admitted, probably.” Frowning, Callie took another look at him. He was a little pale but seemed to be in good health. “You're an Orthopedic surgeon, aren't you?” Callie's brows furrowed. Arizona hadn't mentioned that on the phone earlier. “I know, it's creepy that I know that, but I Googled you. Actually, Arizona's name popping up with yours was just a bizarre coincidence.”

“Wait,” Callie interrupted him, still frowning. “You're not here to see Arizona or Tim, but me? Why?”

He had the grace to look guilty, at least. “Because you're the best Ortho surgeon anyone's ever seen.”

“So what do you need from me?” Sofia was watching the interaction curiously but quietly.

“Come on, Callie,” Nick said with a sigh, his weight shifting again. “You're a genius doctor and you don't even have a guess?”

Hands on Sofia's shoulders, Callie led them toward the luggage carousel. “Do they know? Either of them?”

“No,” he answered her, brushing past the pair to chase his suitcase around the track. So he was sick, literally _in_ his bones if he needed her help, and hadn't told two people who were supposed to be his friends. Nick was limping when he returned, his breath coming shorter.

“I'll get you admitted, get you scans, but you have to tell them,” Callie declared, her tone cooled noticeably, leaning over to pick Sofia up. It was crowded with all the disembarked passengers and the luggage and she didn't want her daughter slipping away into the crowd. “I can't do this to them and...” And he shouldn't have either. But it wasn't her place to judge his decisions, so she didn't say it. And she was a doctor, she gave people bad news all the time. But she couldn't give _his_ bad news to _her_ family. “Ready to go to the hospital, baby girl?” she asked Sofia instead.

The little girl pouted. “ _Mami_ ,” she whined, embarrassed to be called a baby in front of Nick. “I'm a big girl!”

Callie laughed, bouncing her in her arms. “That's right, you are! You're getting to be a heavy girl too!”

Sofia's tongue poked out at her and Nick grinned. “That's totally a Robbins kid.”

“Oh, you have no idea,” commented the Latina with a tight smile over her shoulder.


	2. Chapter 2

Unconsciously playing with her hair as she left her meeting (admit it or not, she was nervous to see Nick), Arizona wasn't surprised to see Callie waiting for her in the hall. The serious expression on her face was a bit unexpected though. “What's up? Did Sofia get to daycare okay?” Arizona checked, pulling her wife away from the conference room door by the lapel of her lab coat so her department's residents could get back to their work.

“Sofia's fine,” Callie promised quickly. “She said she'd save the lemon popsicle from her lunch for you.”

“Sweet!” cheered Arizona with a grin. Callie smiled but still looked serious. “Then why does your face still look like that?”

“Sweetheart...” Callie hesitated.

“What did Nick do?” Arizona jumped to conclusions. “Did he hit on you? Because I will kick his ass!”

“No, sweetie, nothing like that. Just listen to me, babe, okay? We admitted Nick...”

Arizona's expression screwed up, confused. Ever since the phone had rung this morning, she felt like she was confused more often than not. “What? Admitted him? To the hospital, admitted him? Wha-what happened, what's wrong?” Her voice sped up, tone getting higher.

Shaking her head, Callie sighed. “We're waiting for scans right now. But Nick wants to see you.” She wasn't about to mention that Nick's sudden reappearance was about her skills as a surgeon and not reconnecting with his friends. And she couldn't hurt her partner, but it was her job to try and protect her. “Honey, I don't have any results yet, but maybe you should call Tim, see if he can come down here.”

Arizona knew what that meant and she unconsciously stepped back. Callie moved with her but didn't touch her, staying close. Arizona would need comfort later, but for now she needed space and Callie knew that. They'd been together for a long time now. Whenever she needed her, she'd be there. “You say _you're_ waiting on scans – you're his doctor?” Their eyes met and Callie didn't need to say anything. “Nick, what the hell did you do?” she asked herself. Blue eyes closed. “Okay, I'll call Tim and we'll meet you. What's the room number?”

“1566.” Callie gave her a searching look. She would do what she could for Nick, of course, but Arizona was her personal priority, always. “Hey,” she coaxed, leaning down to meet her wife's eyes. “We don't know anything yet, alright?” One hand stroked soothingly up and down Arizona's arm. “We still have to find out what's going on.”

Arizona nodded but her eyes were jumping around the hall. “Okay, I know... I'm okay, Callie.” That name told her exactly how not okay her partner was. Arizona only called her Callie when she was upset. But Callie knew better than to push her.

“I'll see you up there,” she said instead, Callie backing away slowly and breathing deeply when she turned toward the elevator. She could see her wife starting to pace as the doors closed between them and she hit the button for Radiology.

Teddy was in the viewing room she picked and Callie couldn't stop the dismayed groan that escaped as she snapped Nick's scans into the light box and got her first look at his situation. “Wow, that's a big tumor,” the heart surgeon commented, pulling her own scans down and starting to go. “Good luck, Callie.”

“It's in Tim's friend Nick.”

“What?” asked Teddy, stopping with one hand on the knob. “What do you mean? Who's Nick?”

Callie sighed, her arms crossing her chest as she inspected the scans. “They were all friends growing up, I guess. And Nick and Arizona had some kind of falling out, and of course Tim picked Arizona's side, and they never worked it out. But he's here now, in Seattle, because he's got a huge tumor in his spine.”

“And they didn't know? Damn...”

“Exactly,” Callie agreed, frowning at the scans as she measured the shadow with a pair of calipers. “Damn it, this is a big tumor.” She jerked the scans down off the wall. “And now I get to go tell them.”

Teddy's phone chirped on her hip and she glanced down at the display. “I'm coming too,” she said supportively, seeing her husband's name on the screen. “Tim's with them.” And she'd seen the tumor Callie was facing for herself. She wanted to be with her husband when they heard the news.

“Thanks.” Callie gave her a weak smile. “This isn't going to be good.” Teddy hooked an arm through Callie's as they left the room.

They separated as they entered the patient's room, Teddy crossing the room to Tim's side. The Marine's back was against the wall, his arms crossed over his chest and his posture tensed. Arizona was on the other side of the space and her position was the exact opposite of her brother's, shoulders slumped and head down. She looked up at Callie's entrance but didn't need her wife to say anything to know what was coming.

“So, Nick, the scans you brought were about how old, exactly...?”

“Two years,” he supplied, and Callie sighed.

“Well, your tumor has grown in the two _**years**_ since you last had any treatment.” She wasn't looking at him, making notes in his chart instead. How could he do this to himself? Even beyond what he was doing to his friends by being here like this, she couldn't understand him not seeing anyone about his cancer for _years_.

“They told me I needed to see an Orthopedic surgeon and my Robbins married one...” Nick started, his eyes moving around the room. “And you must be the one who married Timmy,” he said, gaze landing on Teddy. He offered one hand to shake.

“We got married more than two years ago, Nick,” Arizona grumbled as her best friend exchanged handshakes with Nick. “We've actually been married for _six_ years. And you didn't come until _now_?! Why!?”

He had the balls to grin at her. “I was doing an article on those guides that carry crap up Everest for the tourists. And then I was in Thailand, and Tibet after that, you know how it is...”

Arizona's eyes narrowed and Callie caught herself feeling grateful that her wife's angry look wasn't directed at her. “Dr. Robbins...” Her professional name got the blonde's eyes on her and Callie sighed sympathetically. No matter that she was angry with him, Nick's predicament was hurting her and Callie could see it. She just wished she could do anything to protect her wife from this pain.

The blonde's professional mask fell into place though and Arizona's shoulders straightened. “Dr. Torres,” she said coolly. “Continue, please.”

With another deep breath, Callie refocused her attention on her patient. Maybe she shouldn't even be doing this. Nick wasn't family, but her family was still tied to this case. It could easily get _very_ distracting. Like the brokenhearted look on Arizona's face that she could only just see out of the corner of her eye. On the other hand, she had operated on Tim, who was now her brother-in-law. “Nick, the new scans show that the tumor in your back has grown quite a bit...”

“That explains the pain,” he said with a hoarse laugh. No one else laughed.

Tim cleared his throat pointedly instead. “Shut up and listen to her,” he brusquely ordered, giving Callie a nod.

“You need surgery, but I won't know the extent of the damage until I get in there,” Callie said slowly.

Pushing himself up on his hands, Nick glanced between Tim and Arizona. “She's good, right?” he asked, trying again to joke. “I mean, Sedona wouldn't have married her if she wasn't good, would you?”

Arizona didn't say anything and Tim stepped forward from the wall, Teddy knowingly holding onto his elbow to keep him at her side when it looked like he wanted to throttle Nick in his bed. “Callie's amazing,” he declared fiercely. “And if you weren't a selfish asshole, you'd have learned that a long time ago. Like when she saved _my legs_!”

“Tim,” Teddy interjected softly, pulling back on his arm. “Hon, let's go to the cafeteria, get some air. We can take snacks to the kids,” she suggested, knowing that he needed to get out of that room.

Arizona's voice was rough as she spoke up. “Sofia's in a phase where she hates strawberry,” she warned her brother and he nodded in understanding. “Thanks, guys.”

The blonde was still leaning heavily into the wall, her body slumped. The sight of her so hurt made Callie's chest ache. “Babe, maybe you should go with them...” she suggested hesitantly.

It won her another of her spouse's narrow looks of annoyance, directed at her this time. “Callie, you have more to say to the patient?”

She sighed, barely resisting the urge to beat some sense into Nick with his own chart. How could he do this to them, do this to himself? “I want to talk to our Neurosurgeon, but we'll schedule the surgery for as soon as possible, alright? Do you have any questions?”

Nick blinked at her, how serious Tim and Arizona were taking all this finally seeming to sink in. “No, thanks, doc.”

Nodding, Callie straightened her papers and waited for Arizona. “Then I'll see you in the morning.” Arizona was moving slowly, one hand rubbing absently at her back. “Are you okay?” Callie asked as they left the room, trying not to take it personally when her wife moved out from under her hand on her shoulder.

“I've got patients...” Arizona said, which didn't answer the question. “I'll see you at lunch?” Callie nodded and Arizona started walking down the hall without looking back.

The tears she held at bay until the elevator, but when the doors opened on Peds, she was sobbing, looking up to find Alex Karev looking confused and concerned. “Boss, what the hell?” he asked, looking to either side of the elevator to make sure she was alone. “What happened? Are you okay?”

Feeling weak suddenly, Arizona's hand shot up to grab his shoulder. He ably caught her elbows, supporting her. “Alex...” Nausea was making her head swim and she choked out his name. “I've got to...” She shoved him to the side and bolted for the bathroom, leaving Alex following and already reaching for his pager.

Callie hadn't even gotten back to Ortho before her pager was summoning her to Peds. And no matter that Arizona said she was fine (even if she hadn't actually said that), she couldn't help moving a bit more briskly to answer it than she would normally for a consult. She shouldn't have left Arizona alone. No matter what the other woman had said, she knew her better than that.

Alex was the one waiting for her when she got off the elevator though and she frowned. “What? Where is she?”

“In the bathroom heaving,” he answered. “Torres, she was crying.” And he'd known Arizona for a long time, lived with them for years, but he could count on one hand the number of times he'd seen her cry.

“Damn it,” whispered Callie, leaving him to follow her toward the bathroom.

“Did something happen? Did you guys have a fight or something?”

“No. One of her friends is here with cancer in his spine,” she answered, voice heavy. “And the baby hasn't been easy on her.”

It took them both a moment to realize what she'd said, Alex's eyes going wide. “Robbins is knocked up?” A shocked smile grew on his face when Callie could only fidget, not sure what to say. She jumped when he hugged her suddenly, throwing both arms around her and squeezing before pushing her away just as fast. “Go make sure she's okay,” he ordered as if she wasn't there for just that reason. “And hey,” he said before she could touch the door handle. “Congratulations, or whatever.”

She grinned at that. “Thank you, Alex. But we haven't told Sofia, Tim, or anyone...”

“My lips are sealed,” he promised immediately, both of them grimacing as they heard retching through the bathroom door. “I'll cover for her. Take as long as you need.”

“Thank you,” Callie repeated emphatically, pulling open the heavy door. She could hear Arizona trying to stifle herself and Callie sighed, knocking lightly on the only closed stall.

“I'm okay,” croaked Arizona, her voice throaty and rough.

“Sweetheart, it's me,” Callie answered her. “Let me in.” The door swung open with a squeak and Callie squeezed herself through the narrow opening. Thankfully Arizona had chosen the larger handicapped stall to be sick in and there was room for her to stand behind her wife. “Are you okay? Is this about Nick, or is our boy playing too rough?”

Slumping against the wall, Arizona breathed deeply. “Both.” Callie crouched, combing her fingers through blonde hair tenderly. “Callie, when's the last time you had a physical?”

Surprised by the question, Callie let out a burst of laughter without meaning to. “What? Honey, I'm fine.”

“I'm being serious,” insisted Arizona weakly, coughing. “I want you to get checked out, Calliope.”

That was better, at least. She _hated_ when Arizona called her Callie. Calliope she hated from anyone else, but her shortened name from her wife's lips was never good. “What are you talking about? I'm perfectly healthy. And right now I'm more worried about you.” Arizona waved off the concern. “No, don't just wave at me like that,” Callie denied her gently. “Talk to me. Please?” It didn't take a genius to figure out what was bringing this up for Arizona, though. “I'm sure this is about Nick...”

“I can't, Callie...” The Latina's mouth opened to object to the return of her abbreviated name and the emotions she knew caused it. “I can't raise our kids without you.”

Callie's brows furrowed immediately. “Hey!” she said quickly, voice sharp but low. One hand found her wife's cheek and guided her head up to meet her eyes. Her cheeks were flushed from crying and her eyes were watery. “I am not going anywhere, Arizona,” she promised. “Our kids will have both of us, I promise you.”

“You can't do that.” Arizona sounded sad, her voice shaky. “Nick thought he was okay until he wasn't...”

“And then Nick waited years to get treatment,” Callie reminded her patiently, thumb wiping tears away. She tried a small smile, Arizona leaning into her hand. “You better believe that anything that might take me away from you and Sofia, I'd fight it like hell. I wouldn't wait. You wouldn't wait. We would fight it, you know that.” The thought of Arizona sick made her want to join her wife leaning over the toilet and throw up herself.

The blonde nodded but a pout was on her lips. “I want you to get checked out,” she insisted. “It would make me feel better – to know everything's okay.”

“Okay,” Callie said softly, trying to appease her. “I'll make an appointment to get a few checks done, okay?

Arizona tried gamely to smile, wiping her eyes. “I know, I'm a freak, but Callie...”

“Okay, you have to stop calling me that,” Callie interjected. “You only call me that when you're upset with me...”

Arizona's smile was real this time, blue eyes sparkling at her. “I'm not upset.” Callie's eyebrow arched doubtfully. “I'm not upset at _you_ ,” she clarified. “But you'll get a check up, for me?”

“Yes,” Callie promised, soothing her with a kiss to the brow. “You just need to relax,” she coaxed. “I'm going to take care of Nick, but I'm in charge of taking care of you and our babies too.” And Callie was wonderful at it, the best wife and mother in the world. Arizona smiled again, looking down when Callie's hand covered her stomach. “So if I'm getting a check up, so are you.”

Blue eyes rolled. “I have doctor's appointments scheduled every month for the next seven months, remember?”

Callie's smile couldn't be contained. “Oh, and speaking of our little surprise, I might have let it slip to Alex.” She grimaced, anticipating a reaction from her wife. “Sorry?”

Arizona laughed instead, shifting uncomfortably against the cold, hard tile floor. “It's okay, Calliope. We were going to tell him. And you told him not to tell anyone else, didn't you?” Callie nodded and Arizona squirmed again. “Then don't worry about it.” Her stomach rolled. “And since your son loves kicking me in the guts, I'm sure we won't be able to hide it much longer anyway,” she noted.

Noticing the fidgeting, Callie slid an arm around her back, coaxing her into her arms. “We should get you up off this floor. I'm betting he doesn't like it down here.”

Arizona groaned, her back aching. “No, he does not.” Callie rose to her feet first, arms helping Arizona up after and leading her out of the stall. “You're always taking care of us, Calliope,” she murmured, leaning against the stall wall nearest the sink while her partner wet a paper towel and wiped her face gently.

“And I always will,” confirmed Callie. She smiled crookedly. “Sometimes you don't make it easy for me though,” she teased lightly. Finishing with the paper towel, she dropped it into the trash. “You ready to get back out there? Or Alex said he'd cover for you. You could get Sof from daycare and go home,” she suggested.

“Calliope, I'm fine,” Arizona countered, kissing her softly on the lips to keep her from arguing. “I promise, I'll talk to you if that changes. And I'll probably cry a lot too,” she warned.

“And I'm right here, any time you need me.”

“I know,” confirmed Arizona, squeezing her wife's wrist. She was going to be strong, she was going to be Dr. Robbins, the Colonel's daughter. Abruptly, she laughed as the realization struck her.

“What?” Callie asked. She hadn't been expecting laughter today, not after how their morning had gone.

Arizona was still laughing, one hand trying to keep it in unsuccessfully. “Mom's going to _kill_ him.”

She maintained her professionalism, her control of her emotions, by avoiding Nick's room, doing her best to avoid thinking about his case, about her _wife_ being her friend's doctor. Callie had saved Tim's legs, her brother, but Nick had been like her brother too, a long time ago, and this wasn't just his legs, this was his life, and she was scared.

And tired beyond reason when she got home. She was sort of getting used to it though. The baby sapped a lot of her energy. Coming through the front door, the couch was as far as she got, collapsing on her front and letting unconsciousness take her. That's where she was when Callie and Sofia got home later, her daughter's laughter jerking her awake.

“Okay, sweetie, Mama doesn't feel good,” Callie said, hushing her. “So we're going to play quietly outside, alright?” Arizona's eyes were still closed but she heard Callie try to get Sofia back to her side just before cool, sticky lips were pressed to her cheek.

“It's to make Mama feel better,” the little girl explained, standing beside the couch. “That's what she does when I don't feel good,” she said wisely.

“That's very sweet,” Callie told her, voice soft and loving. “I'm sure that's going to fix Mama right up.”

“So she can get up and play with us?” asked Sofia hopefully. 

Callie hesitated and Arizona caught her daughter's arm before she could leave, eyes opening slowly. “Thank you, sweetheart.” Her voice was scratchy but she mustered a smile for her girls. Callie joined them at the couch, testing Arizona's forehead with the back of her hand. “What do you think, doc?” asked Arizona with a slow wink, turning more onto her back so she could look up at her wife.

“You're a little warm.” Callie pursed her lips, fingers combing through blonde curls. “I think maybe you should sit out playtime today. Doctor's orders,” she said before Arizona could protest. No protest was coming though. She felt utterly miserable. Their child would be worth it, so she kept her mouth shut.

“Mama's always sick,” Sofia complained, pouting and stomping her foot.

Coughing, Arizona tried to comfort her. “Sof, I'm sorry, but I can't help it, sweetie.” Her daughter was still wearing her pout. Arizona wasn't really sure how Callie could deny her anything. That expression was freaking adorable. The look they exchanged showed Callie's total agreement.

“Mama's okay, though,” Callie chimed in. “We don't want you to worry, okay?”

Sofia's thoughtful frown furrowed her brows, the dimple in her left cheek appearing as she chewed on her lip in consideration. “How'd you know? That Mama's okay? When I don't feel good, I have to go see Uncle Alex and get a shot,” she declared, her distaste for that in her voice. She loved her uncle, but not when he gave her shots.

“We just know,” Arizona said, one hand stroking softly across Sofia's cheek.

“How?” questioned the little girl with her customary stubborn curiosity. They weren’t going to get off this subject without some kind of explanation.

Taking a deep breath, Callie dropped the bomb. “Mama's actually having a baby.” Sofia's shocked expression matched Arizona's perfectly, fading slowly into confusion.

“Callie!”

“A baby?” asked Sofia, her voice adorably confused. “What's that mean?”

“That means there's a baby in Mama's tummy,” Callie explained, sliding one hand over her partner's still flat abdomen.

Arizona tensed and sat up under her wife's hand, making it fall to her leg. “Callie,” she said again sharply. “What are you – is this how...?”

Surprised by the objection, Callie blinked, mouth falling open. “I-I'm sorry, I just, Alex knows because I slipped up...” Her eyes jumped between the two halves of her heart. “And if anyone should know, I just thought it should be Sof.” A frown crossed her lips. “I know we didn't really talk about how we wanted to tell, but are you mad?” Because Arizona looked a little mad.

Her expression softened as she looked at Sofia, little girl shuffling uncertainly around to stand in front of Callie's knees, letting her mother pull her to lean against her legs. “Mama? What'sat mean?” she asked again.

Sighing, Arizona reached for her baby's face once more, thumb stroking her dimple softly. “It means that you're going to get a little brother or sister.” Sofia just looked confused. “Like your Uncle T is my brother,” Arizona tried to explain.

“And how Theo and Lucas are each other's brothers,” Callie added helpfully.

Considering that for a long moment, her parents exchanging glances, Sofia finally shook her head decisively. “Don't want it. Send it back,” she declared matter of factly. “Do you feel good enough to play _now_ , Mama?” she asked as though it was all resolved now that she'd made up her mind.

Arizona, rather than looking better, looked as if she wasn't sure whether she was about to cry or be ill.

Callie was completely at a loss, looking between her impatient daughter and devastated wife. “Sweetheart, how about you go play in your room, alright?” 

Sofia scampered away with a “Feel better, Mama,” over her shoulder, her footsteps loud on the stairs. Her mothers were left in unusual, uneasy quiet.

“Arizona...” Callie started, only to be cut off.

“Do you see now why it might have been better if we had talked about how we were going to tell her?” Her voice was quiet but her frustration was clear in her tone. “She doesn't want him!”

“She doesn't know what she wants,” Callie countered gently. “She's three. Once upon a time you didn't want them either,” she continued unwisely. It was the wrong thing to say. Arizona's expression froze. “Arizona...”

“Seriously!?” Arizona spoke over her, glaring. “After all this time, all these years?! I am _pregnant_ for God's sake! With _your_ son, Calliope!”

Her wife's volume was rising and Callie grimaced. “I know you want them!” she cut in. “Sweetheart, of course I know that. It was a beyond stupid thing to say. Anyone can see how much you love Sofia, baby.”

“And baby boy,” added Arizona, rubbing both hands over her stomach.

The sight, as always, made Callie feel warm all over, love for her wife, for their family, overwhelming her. “I know you do,” she confirmed softly, covering Arizona's hands with her own and drawing blue eyes to her. “And you know I do too.” She tried a smile. “Do you know how deliriously, obnoxiously happy you make me? How much I love our life, our family?”

Arizona mustered a smile in answer, though she still looked mildly ill. “I think your residents all kind of hate me at the end of the day.”

“That's only because I can't stop going on about my gorgeous, talented, brainy, super awesome surgeon wife and our super awesome little girl,” Callie told her, fingers curling around her wife's hand and squeezing lightly. “I never meant to imply that you don't love our children, Arizona. I know that you do. All I meant was that Sofia has time to get used to this idea, you know? She's going to have to share us, which will be different for her. It'll be a lot for her to adjust to. And I'm sorry I blurted it out like I did, really, I am, but she knows now, so we'll just have to be patient, give her time, and try and help her understand that we're always going to love her.”

“That sounds like the voice of experience,” noted Arizona with a hoarse chuckle.

Nodding, Callie smiled. “Aria and I are about the same age difference as Sofia will be with her brother. And I was the older sibling, so I know what Sofia's going through.”

Arizona's smile went soft. “Me and Tim don't have memories of growing up where we weren't together.”

“And it'll be like that for the little guy, okay?” Callie promised. “And before she knows it, Sofia won't be able to imagine life without her little brother tagging along.”

“But you don't really like your little sister,” Arizona reminded her, expression dropping again.

“I do!” protested Callie immediately, swatting at her wife's arm. “Okay, so maybe we had a few rocky... decades, but we're all good now. You and Tim never...?”

Arizona shook her head, taking Callie's hand to play with her fingers, eyes focusing on the play of pale skin on Callie's olive tones. “Not really. I mean, we'd have a bad month every once in while, but he was always there, no matter what.” She sighed, holding Callie's hand against her chest. “And Nick was too. Until he wasn't.”

Arching an eyebrow, Callie pursed her lips in surprise. She hadn't been expecting Nick to be brought up now. “Yeah, can you tell me what happened there?”

Blue eyes slid away from her, searching the room. “Okay, first of all, you need to understand something. Nick is family. No matter how long he's been gone, no matter if we scream at each other every day he's in Seattle. He was there for everything when I was growing up. And he was there when I figured out I like girls.”

“You were close...”

“He never judged,” clarified Arizona pointedly. “Even when he wanted more from me and I hurt him, he never judged me. Not for a second.” Her laugh was hoarse. “Maybe he did after everything fell apart, I don't know, but I can't judge him now.”

“Even though he's hurting you, coming here like this?” Callie countered. Her tone was short, sharp. It was clear that _she_ was judging Nick for that decision.

“No, I don't,” she said flatly, shaking her head. “Not with you in the OR.” Callie breathed deeply, the faith in her wife's eyes doing nothing to relieve her. She couldn't break Arizona's heart. “I need you to be straight with me, Calliope, going forward.”

Sighing, Callie's eyes fell. “Honey...”

“Please, just tell me. It's bad, isn't it?” Arizona already knew it was or Callie would have reassured her already. “Is there anything...?”

“I'm going to try,” Callie promised her. “But it is bad. And I'll probably need Bailey, maybe Derek Shepherd if it's hairier in there than it looks on the scans.”

“Is he going to lose his leg function?” Arizona's hands were fidgeting with the hem of her top until Callie covered them with her own. “Calliope...”

“I don't know, sweetheart. I just don't know,” Callie interjected. “And I know I operated on Tim, and you were amazing during that, but I don't know about this. You're taking this all so hard, and I know the baby isn't going easy on you...” Arizona's face pinched, clouding as she frowned. “I could find someone else to take care of Nick,” Callie suggested gently.

“No! Because there's not anyone like you,” Arizona cut her off. “If you can't do this, Calliope, no one can.”

“No pressure,” muttered Callie sarcastically under her breath, prompting a frown from her wife.

“I don't get it. You worked on Tim. You saved his legs.” Arizona spoke slowly, trying to work it out in her head. “You're a rock star. Why are you being like this?”

“I was scared to death every time I went in on Tim,” Callie confessed. “But you, you were rock steady.”

“Only on the outside, Calliope.”

“But now, with Nick, you're sad and shaky and making yourself sick. And some of it is the baby, I know that, but...”

“You don't think I can deal with this,” Arizona realized out loud.

Callie denied her immediately, “It's not that. I don't want you driving yourself into the ground trying to do everything yourself and I'm not sure I can do my job as your wife and the mother of our children if I'm trying to be Nick's doctor too. I'm worried about you, yes, but it's not _just_ that,” Callie insisted lightly, smoothing her hand over Arizona's middle.

“And if I would feel better with you in the OR?”

Sighing, Callie mustered a confident expression. “Then I'm in there,” she promised. “But I need you to take it easier. For me. Maybe less hours on your feet at work?”

Arizona's mouth was open to protest when Callie kissed her. The contact was soft and slow, lips meeting and breaking only to meet again gently in the next moment. Arizona's fingers caught he back of her neck to keep her from withdrawing. She whimpered lightly when the kiss ended. “Okay. Alex can take a _few_ of my surgeries,” Arizona surrendered. “Even though you were working seven months into _your_ pregnancy,” she added, complaining.

“Every pregnancy is different,” Callie reminded her patiently. “And I hate it for you, but our boy is being rougher on you than our girl was on me.”

“I made an appointment for my checkup for tomorrow,” Arizona informed her. “Three o'clock. Think you can make it down to hold my hand?”

Callie smiled, brushing fair hair back from her face. “I have a surgery, so I might make it a few minutes late, but if you want me there, I'll be there.”

Shrugging, Arizona settled back against the cushions only to grimace. “No big deal. And it's not a baby checkup, just me, so it's alright if you can't make it. Don't move anything around.” She stretched and shifted again. “And I know we say this a few times a year, but we _need_ a new couch. This one deserves to be dragged out back and burned.” Her expression went adorably grumpy. “I can't believe we've had sex on this thing!”

Callie's smile became a grin. “We have had sex on this couch more than once. Including the first night we ever met,” she reminded her teasingly. Arizona still looked disgruntled. “But you're right, it is pretty rough on the back and no one's getting any younger around here.” Arizona's hand swatted her arm immediately, mouth dropping open. “How about we go shopping this weekend?”

“Yeah, I've heard _that_ before,” Arizona muttered, rolling her eyes. “But who knows, maybe my hearing is going already?”

Leaning in quickly, Callie kissed her again, harder this time. “Trust me, sweetness, there's nothing of yours that's 'going' anywhere,” she promised with a smirk on her lips. “And just for the record, about your appointment tomorrow, you being all good is just as important to me as knowing that baby boy is,” declared Callie, her voice low. She took another quick kiss before pushing herself to her feet. “So I'm going to feed you both. Any requests?”

“Mami's the best, little man,” Arizona told her stomach, smiling up at her wife. “But I'm not really hungry.” Callie wouldn't accept her missing a meal though. “Maybe just a piece of chicken?”

“You got it, beautiful.”

A noise from the couch stopped her before she'd left the room. “And maybe some chocolate milk?” requested the cute voice of her insanely cute wife.

“Coming right up,” promised Callie with a smile.


	3. Chapter 3

The routine of an ultrasound was so common by now that Arizona didn't even flinch at the cool gel on her belly, just sighing impatiently. She had patients and this wasn't even one of her monthly checkups, just part of the general wellness checks that she and Callie had promised they would each do after Nick had shown up full of cancer.

It's the 'hmm' that got her attention, Arizona rocking her head to the side to look at the tech reading the monitor. She hadn't even called in Lucy for this. “What?” she asked around a yawn. The sensitive stomach had been better today, but she was still exhausted.

The younger doctor frowned at her display, moving the wand slowly, but didn't say anything. Arizona impatiently reached up and turned the monitor toward her so she could see for herself. It took her a second to be able to recognize the image on the screen, see what was what, but her frown matched the tech's expression.

“Move it down,” she ordered, sitting up to see the screen better and knocking the wand from its place accidentally. When it took the flustered, what she was guessing was a first year, intern more than a second to find the spot again, she snatched the wand and did it herself, frown deepening again as she found the shadow. Taking a moment to process, her mouth moving without words escaping, Arizona blinked at the screen. It couldn't be... “Callie,” she gasped out. “You page my wife. Dr. Torres. You get her here. And give me my phone.”

Her fingers trembled against the screen and twice she hit the wrong name in her contact list before she hit Addison Montgomery and the necessary button to make the call. The wait between rings was intolerable, her heartbeat pounding through her head louder than the ringer. “Arizona, hey!”

“Addie...”

Her friend's name stopped her words and the redhead frowned in L.A. “What's up?”

“I need you. Can you come to Seattle?” She took a breath and narrowed her eyes at the monitor, trying to squint the image into understanding. It couldn't be what it looked like – it just couldn't be...

“What's wrong? How's the baby?” Addison asked, concerned by the request.

“I'm in an exam room right now,” Arizona told her. “The tech went to page Callie...”

“What is it?”

“I'm looking at a shadow on the ultrasound monitor.” Her voice was flat, toneless. “It wasn't there two weeks ago, Addie.”

Her friend sighed, her breathing the only sound for a long moment. “Have you called Dr. Fields?”

“Addison...” She trusted their doctor, she really did, but Addison Montgomery was the best Neonatal surgeon in the country.

“I'm on the next flight. First thing in the morning,” she promised. “I know it's impossible right now, but just try and relax. We don't know anything yet.” Arizona laughed bitterly. “What?”

“That's what Calliope keeps telling me about Nick,” Arizona told her, eyes fixed on the monitor. Addison had heard of Nick, listened to her roommate's angry, emotional ranting about him for most of their first year of med school. “He's got cancer... in his spine. And Callie's doing everything she can. But I got scared, I made her promise that she would get checked out. So she made me promise to go too...”

“Arizona, stop it,” Addison cut in. “I'm coming, I will check out everything, and it will be okay.”

“You don't know that, Addie,” Arizona countered shortly, anxious.

“Hey, you don't know it won't be,” the redhead argued. “Because you're the best, and I'm the best, and maybe kids aren't her surgical specialty, but Callie is the best wife ever, isn't she? Whatever this is, whatever it turns out to be, anything that happens, you two will get through it.”

Callie entered then, eyes only glancing at the ultrasound before she found Arizona on the table. “What? That intern looks like someone bit her head off. Was it you? Because I really think she's shaking out there.”

“I've got to go, Addison. I'll see you soon,” Arizona said quietly into her phone.

Brown eyes widened at the sound of the other woman's name and Callie's gaze shot back to the ultrasound monitor. “Oh God,” she gasped out, sinking, suddenly weak, to the foot of the table, Arizona hanging up her phone and reaching for her partner's wrist, the ultrasound wand falling away forgotten and making the monitor go dark. “Addison – Addison's coming here? Because there's something wrong... Something's wrong... Arizona...”

“Shh, no, we don't know yet, but...”

“But there was something on the monitor, I saw it,” Callie said, eyes still wide. “Something's wrong with you – what if something is wrong with you?” she asked, gaze falling to her lap. Something was wrong inside her Arizona. It was unbearable even thinking about it. Pale hands covered hers where they were unconsciously rubbing at the tops of her thighs, Arizona wrapping her hands over Callie's.

“If something is wrong, we'll deal with it,” Arizona said, her own voice shaky. “Won't we?”

The fear in her voice snapped Callie out of her own panicked emotion, her hands turning over to take Arizona's properly. “Honey, of course we will. I am _never_ going anywhere, you understand?” The blonde nodded but still looked morose. “Arizona, look at me,” she coaxed gently, squeezing her fingers. “You were right, we don't know anything yet. I'm sorry, okay, I'm sorry...” She shifted sideways to sit by her wife’s hip, relieved when Arizona's arms curled around her middle, blonde head resting against her shoulder. “It's going to be okay,” she promised. She would make it okay.

“We're going to be embarrassed if we called Addie up here for a faulty old machine,” Arizona joked hoarsely. “I didn't mean to scare you, calling you...”

“Shut up,” Callie ordered her gently, knocking her head lightly against fair hair. “I would kick your ass if you hadn't called me.” She trailed her fingers over her wife's forearm. “You haven't felt good in a while,” she pointed out, seemingly unable to help herself. “It's the baby, though.” That's what they'd thought, at least.

“Shh,” hushed Arizona, squeezing her eyes closed. “Calliope, please...” she pleaded. She couldn't think about it being something else. And speculating until Addison got there would just make them both crazy. “Can we just go eat lunch or something?” She wasn't hungry now in the slightest, but they had to do _something_ , couldn't just sit there stewing. “Maybe we could get Sofia and go eat in that park up the street?”

Callie's voice was hoarse as she answered, “That sounds perfect.”

And they each noticed when the other one ate nothing but Sofia didn't, happy to be free of daycare and eager to show her parents her new favorite thing – somersaulting across the grass in front of the bench where her mothers sat with their untouched lunches.

“Awesome,” Arizona told her, mustering a genuine smile for her daughter.

“Mama, come play,” requested Sofia eagerly, clapping her hands to draw her mother from the bench and into the grass with her, and Arizona, suddenly sick of being tired, of feeling sick, and most especially of this new anxious knot in her stomach, pushed herself to her feet and chased her daughter.

Callie couldn't move, felt like she couldn't breathe. Her family, her entire world, could be threatened right now and she wanted to put her fist through a wall. And as an Ortho specialist, she knew exactly how much damage that would cause. Instead she leaned over her own knees, elbows braced on her legs and hands hanging as uselessly as she felt. If Arizona was really sick she didn't know how to do this. All she knew for sure anymore was that if there was something wrong inside the love of her life, they were going to fight it like hell. Whatever this turned out to be, it was not allowed to ruin their life.

“Mami! We're playing!” Sofia's shriek of laughter drew her head up, Arizona now the one being chased by an exuberant little girl. “I can't catch Mama! She's too fast!” Stopping abruptly, she turned to her mother and stomped one little foot impatiently, her arms straight down at her side. “Come help me!” she demanded, grinning Arizona's dimpled grin at her suddenly. As if she could resist that smile, from either one of them.

Arizona was already backpedaling before Callie was out of her seat, running where she'd only been jogging to stay ahead of Sofia. She was caught in a few short seconds, strong, safe arms wrapping her up. When Sofia caught up and hit their legs, Callie let them go down, keeping Arizona from actually hitting the ground with any kind of force. Sofia crawled across Arizona to flop over both of their abdomens, Callie's hands picking her up slightly to move her so that sharp little elbows didn't hurt Arizona's perpetually sensitive stomach.

The blonde didn't seem to be in any distress though, relaxed against the grass and catching her breath, one hand combing through Sofia's dark, never-ending tangles. “Ooh, sweetie, be still for a second. My ring's caught,” Arizona coaxed her, gently freeing her wedding ring. “Where'd you get all these curls from, mija?” she asked hypothetically.

“From you, Mama!” Sofia answered her happily, wriggling and giggling when the hand moved to tickle her sides. “Mama! Help me, Mami! Help!”

Working together, Callie and Sofia managed to turn the tables on Arizona, the fairer family member helpless under their tickling. Once her mother was begging for mercy Sofia put a stop to it, flopping off of Arizona and falling into the grass beside her, all three of them breathless. Meeting her wife's eyes over their daughter's head, Arizona could see the worry, the uncertainty, in brown eyes. But there was strength there too. And more love than she could have ever imagined before Callie. Fingers found hers and squeezed lightly, tracing a heart into her palm. It made her melt sometimes, how much Callie loved her, how much she loved Callie.

The hard won peace, relaxation, was broken by the sharp chirp of a pager from a purse, Callie dropping her head to the grass in denial. “It's mine, I bet. I'm consulting with Shepherd about Nick,” she said, voice heavy. If the tumor was invading more of his spine that it looked to be, she wanted the Neuro genius' help on the case.

Swallowing hard, Arizona sat up, her eyes unfocused. “Let's get back, then.”

“Sweetheart, it's still early,” Callie reminded her, not the first time she'd issued that statement. “We're going to-”

“Do everything you can, I know,” Arizona finished it for her, standing up and brushing both hands down the sides of her jeans. “Do I have the keys, or do you?”

Callie couldn't help smiling. “You always have the keys, babe,” she teased her lightly, patting her wife's ass fondly as she passed her to pick up her purse and their trash from the park bench. “Sofia, get your stuff, angel. We've got to go back to the hospital now,” she instructed, staying firm when the little girl huffed and dragged her feet.

Arizona was no help when she turned her pouting, pitiful expression on its originator. “You heard Mami. March, soldier.”

Even Sofia was quiet on the ride back to Seattle Grace, disgruntled at having to return to daycare for the afternoon after the park, shuffling along at Arizona's side as she walked her to her fate. Callie went the other way, upstairs to join Derek Shepherd in a viewing room. He was already there, the scans already on the wall. “Has he been opened up yet?” he asked, straight to business.

Callie found herself grateful for it. Working on Nick would help keep the worry about Arizona and their baby at bay. As long as she was working, focusing, there wasn't room inside to worry. “No. I think Bailey and I can handle it, but I wanted you to take a look with how close it is to L4.”

He nodded his understanding, eyes still surveying the images illuminated on the wall. “No, you're right. But I think you should be in the clear.” He looked at her, hand tucking in the pockets of his lab coat. “When are you going in?”

Callie sighed, thinking. “Tomorrow? He's let this sit for two years, I don't want to waste any more time.”

“Fine,” Derek said, nodding. “I'll make sure I'm around and you just page if you need anything.” His expression softened somewhat and she could see how he'd gotten the nickname “McDreamy.” “Are you okay, Torres? I heard the patient is a friend of the family.” As a matter of fact, one of the nurses had speculated (near him if not directly _to_ him – nurses didn't gossip about doctors to other doctors) that the man whose arrival had sent Arizona Robbins to cry in the woman's room was actually the source of the sperm hat had helped create her daughter. Of course, he was smarter than mentioning that in front of Callie Torres. And hearing it from the nurses had earned them a glare and stern head shake from him. Torres and Robbins were good people, good doctors, and they deserved their privacy and respect.

Blinking in surprise (she and Derek Shepherd weren't _not_ friends but they had never been more than casual buddies either), Callie let her mouth fall open, working without sound escaping. “It's complicated,” she said on a sigh. And there was more in her mind now than Nick. However this turned out, he'd made the choices that had led them to this. He was responsible for his own fate. “We're doing what we can... Arizona and Tim are pretty upset though.” She grimaced, crossing her arms unconsciously across her chest. Arizona was stressing out, making herself sick over this. And now they had the whatever the hell was on that ultrasound to worry about.

“Are you sure they're the only ones?” Derek asked kindly, one hand on her shoulder. “I know it's none of my business, but you seem pretty stressed yourself. Maybe I could...”

“Arizona wants me in there,” Callie interjected. “No offense to you, Derek, but-”

“I understand,” he told her, squeezing her shoulder once before letting go. “It's okay.”

She sighed heavily. “Believe me, I wouldn't be on this case if she hadn't asked me to.” She was a doctor, Nick was her patient, but Arizona would always be her priority.

His smile was sympathetic, conspiratorial. “The things we do for our women, right?”

It won a genuine smile from Callie. “You're right.” She would do anything for Arizona. And she'd heard stories about Derek's rocky history with Meredith. They were stable now, happy, and had adopted a baby a few years ago from the African country Arizona had once lived in for three months. The former roommates had been talking about it for months, Arizona helping her friend get in contact with the orphanage in Malawi, arranging transportation and helping with Social Services once the baby was in the country. “What's Zola's newest trick?” she asked, changing the subject for herself. The smile that graced Derek's face at the mention of his daughter told her that he didn't mind.

Talking about their kids was a relaxing distraction, Sofia's unexpected presence in Nick's room a much needed source of joy, Callie opening the door only to have her daughter jump from Nick's bed to run into her legs. “Hey Mami! Mama and me are visiting Uncle Nick. You're going to fix him, right? Uncle Nick says he's sick, Mami. But you can fix him,” she declared, supremely confident in her mother's capabilities. Arizona gave her a weak smile from the chair at her friend's bedside, Callie taking a deep breath as she looked back at her partner.

Nick cleared his throat when the gaze extended, Callie blushing as she realized they'd been caught. “So, what's up, doc?” Nick asked, kindly not saying anything about their staring. It was something Tim said a lot too when he'd been her patient, her brother-in-law loving a cheesy joke. “Your girls have been kind enough to keep me company for a little bit.”

They must have come here right after they'd returned from the park, Callie realized. “I wanted to show him my flip, but Mama said the floor's too hard,” Sofia piped up from where her arms were wrapped around Callie's leg. Clearly she was hoping Mami might override her other mother and let her somersault across the hard linoleum of the hospital floor.

“Mama's right,” Callie told her, free hand tousling her daughter's already unruly curls. “Now I need to talk to Mama and Nick, okay? Do you want to go back to daycare, or can-?”

“I'll be quiet!” Sofia chirped immediately, releasing Callie's leg and scampering to climb into Arizona's lap in the chair, picking up the dangling remote for Nick's hospital bed and curiously poking buttons. Her parents exchanged another look, Arizona grimacing apologetically when the jostling made Nick hiss and wince.

“Sof, sweetie, how about you find us a cartoon to watch?” Nick suggested, handing her the television remote. She knocked it knowingly against the table beside the bed and changed the channel. “So, doc, what's the word?”

“We're going in tomorrow morning,” Callie told him, focusing on him so she couldn't see the anxiety on her wife's face. “The tumor is close to the spine, but our Neurosurgeon consulted with me on your case,” Arizona nodded reassuringly to Nick when he looked at her for an opinion, “and he shouldn't need to step in unless things look differently that they did on the scans.”

“So,” Nick paused, swallowing hard and reaching unconsciously for Arizona's hand, “Am I going to maybe not walk again, or what?”

Sofia's attention was diverted from the TV and Arizona's free arm hugged her around the middle when she squirmed on her lap. Seeing her mother's hand covering Nick's, she stretched up and added her little hand to the comforting pile.

“I can't say for sure until we get in there,” Callie said honestly. “But I would think so if there are no complications with the tumor.”

“And really, there's no one else you want doing this,” declared Arizona loyally.

“Mami's the best!” parroted Sofia, happy to include herself in the grownups' conversation.

Nick smiled at her, turning his hand over to hold hers, wiggling her fingers between his own playfully. “That's good to know, Sof, thanks.”

“Any questions?”

He just shook his head, still bouncing Sofia's little hand against his palm. “I know you're pissed at me, just try not to kill me, okay?”

Arizona's brows furrowed, blue eyes moving between the two of them. What reason could Nick possibly have to think Callie was mad at him? The look Callie shot him only increased her confusion, her wife clearly telling him silently to keep his mouth shut. So Arizona kept her mouth shut as well. She'd have time to question Callie about it later. She didn't doubt she could crack Nick, though.

“No questions,” Nick said meekly, raising his hand. “Gimme five!” Sofia laughingly obeyed, poking Arizona's shoulder until she did it too, slapping her friend's hand lightly. “So, tomorrow?”

“Tomorrow morning,” Callie confirmed with a nod.

“Okay,” Nick sighed. “And Callie, Dr. Torres, thank you.” He was earnest and she nodded again, giving him a forced smile.

“See you then.” Sofia and Arizona got a genuine smile, Callie flipping her paperwork closed and leaving the room.

“Why would she be pissed at you?” Arizona asked the second the door closed behind her wife, Sofia content with the TV remote. Nick didn't answer, fidgeting with the edge of his blanket and shifting his weight. Arizona Robbins was no idiot though, and she knew her wife, quick to anger in the right circumstances, but never without cause. If Callie was mad at Nick, she had a reason. And since they'd known each other for all of three days, Callie's anger was almost undoubtedly on her behalf. And Nick had known for years about his cancer, but only now sought treatment for it... and her wife was one of the best Orthopedic surgeons in the country.

“You came here for her,” Arizona realized, voice low. Nick didn't deny it and Arizona breathed deeply, Sofia wiggling backwards into her, providing unconscious comfort for her mother. “So, if you hadn't gotten cancer would we have ever seen you again?” she questioned. “If you didn't need my _wife_ to save your life, would you have ever gotten in touch with me or Tim?” His eyes were still on anything but her. “Hey! Look at me!” demanded Arizona, her sharp tone drawing Sofia's eyes up. The little girl knew what that tone in her mama's voice meant – someone was in trouble... “I know a lot of stuff happened the last time we were all together...”

“You mean I told you I was in love with you and you told me you loved – what was her name...?” he interjected sarcastically, rolling his eyes at her. Arizona's jaw clenched and Sofia curled her knees to her chest, balling herself in her mother's lap, both of her hands tugging Arizona's hand and arm into place around her legs protectively. There was nowhere safer than Mama's lap in her opinion. And her new Uncle Nick sounded angry, frustrated.

Arizona's cheek came to rest against her daughter's dark curls, rocking her without realizing she was moving. “I don't know what you want from me, Nick. I can't say I'm sorry. We wouldn't have worked. You know that. Because I am a lesbian. The love of my life is a woman...”

“And what I want doesn't matter...”

“You know that's not what I meant!” objected Arizona shortly. “You stood by me, Nick. Remember that?! I came out to Tim and to you, and it was one of the hardest things I had ever had to do. And you stood by me through that when I told Mom and the Colonel. You two were at my side the whole time. And you're trying to tell me that you did that for me and then we all moved away and you didn't call for _years_ because you were over being pissed at me for not loving you how you wanted? I did love you, Nick! You were like a brother to me. That's why we haven't seen each other in fifteen years... But now you're here and you still, what, you want me to believe you still love me? That's insane!”

He sighed heavily, eyes closing. “It's not like that, Sedona... And I didn't come here to fight with you _or_ for you. You're happy and I'm glad, really. I just – I missed you. And Tim...”

“But you came to Seattle so my wife could fix your stupid back.”

“It was just a fluke that she turned out to be married to you,” he tried to object.

“That's my point!” Arizona agreed loudly, making Sofia jump. “You're not here about me or Tim!”

“Mama?” she whispered, blinking wide brown eyes up at her.

“Shh, it's okay,” soothed her mother. “Mama didn't mean to yell, I'm sorry, sweetie.” Sofia nuzzled her head under her chin and Arizona breathed deeply, resuming rocking her daughter. Being angry at Nick wouldn't solve anything. It couldn't make her feel better that her friend had cancer. She had to let it go. He was here now and Callie was going to do her best to save his life. Meeting Nick's eyes over Sofia's head, Arizona sighed again. “I missed you too.” She rolled her eyes suddenly. “But you could have just called, you know?”

It won her a grin and a hoarse laugh. “Yeah, right...”

The fragile peace, the quiet tension left after the joke only served to remind them of their reality and their eyes fell away, finding other, easier places to rest.


	4. Chapter 4

Callie thought she'd been nervous in surgeries before, operating on Tim coming to mind, but this, staring into Nick Jordan's spine and feeling her wife's blue eyes watching her every move, was a whole new kind of nerves. Arizona hadn't been allowed anywhere near her brother's surgery, hadn't had any desire to watch her girlfriend operate on her big brother, but Nick wasn't technically family and the hospital couldn't keep her out of her wife's OR.

And the beeping on his heart rate on the monitor was steady, everything was going smoothly, but Callie could hear her partner's weight shifting across the room, feet shuffling. “Dr. Robbins...” she sighed, glancing up at her over the frames of the magnifying glasses she was wearing.

“I didn't say anything! I'm being quiet!” the blonde protested, hands wringing unseen behind her back.

She sounded just like their daughter, Sofia a perfect miniature of her mother's personality, and Callie couldn't help smiling, glad that it was covered by her mask. She was Dr. Torres right now, genius surgeon, not Calliope, loving wife and mother. She had a tumor to remove and Arizona's presence couldn't be allowed to disconcert her. “You're fidgeting,” she told her wife fondly. “And I love you, but it's distracting.”

Arizona went still and stiff as a board, sucking her lips between her teeth in an attempt to keep from speaking up again. It lasted about two minutes. “Did I tell you that Nick's latest photoshoot was on the cover of National Geographic?” As a matter of fact, Callie did know that. She'd been confused by the presence of the magazine on the coffee table until her wife had proudly stated that she knew the man who'd taken the photos.

“Yes, sweetheart. I know,” Callie agreed patiently, meeting Bailey's eyes and exchanging fond expressions. Arizona just had that way about her, everyone loved her.

“We're not going to kill your friend,” Bailey promised her, glancing over her shoulder. “It's going well.”

“Actually, we should be done soon,” said Callie, only fudging the truth a little bit. She felt sure she could finish more quickly without her partner breathing down her neck. She knew Arizona wasn't trying to rush her or push her or pressure her in the slightest, but she couldn't focus when she knew that one wrong move would kill Nick, would break Arizona's heart. She couldn't get past that as long as her partner was standing behind her as a living, breathing reminder of who she was doing this for. “How about you go get Sofia and some food and we'll meet you in the cafeteria?”

“But-”

“Arizona...” Callie's gentle interjection stopped her, blue eyes wide and unblinking. “Please...”

She sighed heavily but conceded. “Fine. You could just tell me to get out, you know...” she groused.

“I would never,” Callie teased her lightly, winking. “I'm just hungry and I want to have lunch with my two favorite girls.” Bailey scoffed behind her mask and Callie shot her a narrow look across the table. “She's just jealous because Tuck's in school now and can't come to lunch. I'll see you in a little while, okay?”

“Okay,” Arizona agreed, sighing as she left the room.

Following her exit Callie closed her eyes and breathed deep. “We're not that close to done, Torres,” Bailey commented dryly even as she made another cut. “This tumor is a bear.”

“I can't – I was distracted,” Callie tried to explain.

“I understand,” promised Bailey soothingly. “She's going to be coming back in here when we're not out of the OR in twenty minutes, though. You know that, right?”

“That's why I sent her to the daycare to get Sofia. She'd never bring her in here,” Callie reasoned. “But Arizona shouldn't be on her feet this whole time.” Bailey gave her a confused look. Robbins and Torres were protective of each other, she knew that, but being concerned about how long they spent standing up was a level they hadn't previously reached. “She's sick, Bailey,” Callie said quietly, feeling a knot tighten in her chest at saying the words.

“And she was in a sterile area?! We're operating!”

Callie couldn't lift her eyes from her work, couldn't stand to see worry or pity in her friend's face. “It's not like that. It's not something we can catch.” She could feel eyes burning into her but she didn't look up. “The baby's rough on her,” she said instead. They didn't know anything for sure yet, but the baby was a cause she could share.

A blood covered glove suddenly touched hers, stopping her scalpel. “A baby? Robbins is pregnant? Callie-”

“She's pregnant,” confirmed the other surgeon, glancing up briefly. “It's too early to know, but she thinks it's a boy,” she confessed, her heart suddenly beating more quickly, pounding in her chest. Their baby boy – there could be something wrong with their baby boy, with Arizona... She felt sick and blinked to clear her eyes, breathing slowly to keep from having to throw up.

“Your boy's playing tough already?” asked Bailey, forcing a smile to her mouth. “Tuck was that way on me. By the third month or so he settled down though.”

“That'll be something to look forward to,” Callie said, her voice hoarse. “Suction, please.”

It was a clear change of subject and Bailey respected it, each of them falling back into silence as they went back to their work. The rest of the resection went smoothly, Callie getting the tumor out entirely. It wouldn't be easy, but with some rehab, Nick could move on with his life. And she selfishly hoped that he would do so away from Seattle. Him being around was shaking up Arizona and she didn't like that.

She wished she could leave closing to her resident, but wanted to be able to tell Nick, and Tim, and Arizona that she'd handled everything herself. Her head was throbbing by the time she finished, taking her time scrubbing out, savoring the quiet of the scrub room. Nick would be asleep for at least another hour, probably longer, so she could take the time for lunch with Arizona and Sofia, try and fend off the headache she could feel coming. Maybe Arizona had already grabbed her a coffee she wished hopefully as she pulled off her cap and stuffed it into the pocket of her lab coat. She leaned against the wall of the elevator as she rode it to the third floor, not even bothering with the food line but going directly for the table occupied by the loves of her life and dropping into the empty chair beside Sofia.

The little girl was fully engrossed in her chicken nuggets and only murmured when her mother leaned over to kiss her head in greeting. “How'd it go?” Arizona asked, her own plate barely touched.

Callie mustered a smile for her, thumb rubbing at her temples in an attempt to stave off the headache. “It was good. I got it all. He'll need rehab, maybe some chemo, but as long as he takes care of himself, he should be fine,” she answered with a nod, closing her eyes.

“Are _you_ okay?” Arizona asked, leaning in and keeping her voice low.

“I just need some coffee. I have a headache.” Gentle fingers combed through her hair and Callie leaned into the touch, Arizona scratching lightly at her scalp.

“I have a cure for a headache that doesn't involve coffee,” murmured Arizona.

Callie lifted her head, eyes blinking open to look at her wife. “You're not telling me that you feel like...” She didn't believe that for a minute. And even if Arizona was in the mood, which she found unlikely, she definitely wasn't.

“No, not really,” confessed the blonde with a sigh, fingers curling through soft dark hair. “I just want you to feel better.”

“I know you do,” Callie said, smiling softly at her and reaching up to cover the hand in her hair with her own hand. “I just want you to feel better too.”

Arizona's expression twitched, both of them thinking about the same thing, that spot on the ultrasound, even if neither one said it aloud. “What if what would make me feel better is laying with you?” she asked, whispering.

“Then I'll clear my schedule,” promised Callie without hesitation. She only had a few consults that would be easy enough to hand off or postpone for a little while. Spending time with her arms around her wife sounded like heaven at that moment. “You're not eating?” she questioned, her worry about Arizona back in the forefront now that she was through Nick's surgery. “You need to eat, Arizona.”

“I'm not really hungry,” she said, eyes falling. Callie ignored her and poked up a bite of lasagna off her wife's plate, holding it up to her mouth. Arizona's eyebrow rose slowly as she stared incredulously at the fork. “You're not seriously trying to feed me in the cafeteria, are you?”

“You're not eating,” Callie countered. “And you need to eat,” she said stubbornly. “So, yes, if you're not going to take care of yourself, I'm going to take care of you.” She circled the fork slowly with a playful, teasing smile. “Want to do the airplane game?”

Blue eyes rolled and Arizona snatched the fork, shoving the bite into her mouth herself. “Happy now?” she asked with her mouth full, making Sofia laugh.

“Ecstatic,” Callie said, pecking her lips softly and stealing a bite for herself to keep Arizona from arguing about her not eating. “Thank you,” she said when the other woman took another bite without prompting. Below the table, Callie's hand slid across her wife's still flat stomach. “Date in an on-call room after you check my work on Nick?” she proposed quietly, leaning her head against Arizona's shoulder and dropping a kiss against her shirt.

“I don't have to check your work. I know you're awesome,” said Arizona, her own head drooping against dark hair, her fingers gripping tighter to silky strands. “But we're totally on for that on-call room.” All she wanted was Callie's arms around her. She was safe in Callie's arms, safer than anywhere else in the world, and she needed to feel that security more than anything.

Sofia insisted on a piggyback ride on the way to see Nick, which Callie complied with, her daughter riding happily on her back, her skinny legs hooked securely through Callie's elbows. She had been instructed to be quiet when they got to the room in case he was still asleep, and she obeyed until she saw her Uncle Tim in the hall outside the room. “Unk!” Her yelp of greeting was loud and she squirmed to get down, running and jumping into his arms.

“Hey,” he greeted his sister and in-law, his niece sitting on his hip. His voice was hoarse and he sounded as tired as they both felt. Nick's arrival hadn't been simple for any of them, it seemed. And Tim had his sick twins to deal with as well.

“Hey,” Arizona sighed, her hands tucked in her coat pockets. “She got it all. He should be fine with some treatment.” Her phone buzzed in her pocket and she looked down at the screen. A text from Addison greeted her. Her friend's flight was taking off, she'd be in Seattle in a matter of hours. They could get some answers. But for now Callie needed her concentration for Nick.

“Good,” Tim coughed, burying it in his own shoulder. “Thank you, Callie.”

“Uncle T, you sick?” asked Sofia, rubbing his broad shoulders in an attempt to be comforting. That was what her mommies did for her when she didn't feel good.

“I think I'm catching what the boys have,” he said, clearing his throat and grimacing.

Arizona stepped forward and tested his forehead against the back of her hand. “You do feel a little warm. If you haven't already, I'd say you should call out of work tonight,” she suggested, sympathetic expression on her her face. She knew all too much about physical misery lately.

“Oh, Teddy's already taken care of that,” he said with a laugh that became a cough. “I'm just here to check on Nick and pick up the refill for the boys' prescription.”

“Let's go then,” Callie said, opening the door for Arizona with a smile, her wife smirking at her chivalry as she passed. Tim took the heavy door to let Callie follow her and the doctor went to check her patient's readouts. “Hey, Nick,” she greeted him as she noticed his eyes flutter open and follow her.

“Hey,” he croaked, looking past her to find Arizona and Tim. “You're here. Both of you.”

“And me!” Sofia chimed in from the foot of the bed.

It earned her grins from all of the adults, Nick nudging his foot against her hand when she swatted his sheets. “So, what's the word, doc?”

Callie checked his IV and patted his shoulder. “We got all of the tumor, but we're going to want to do some chemo because there are some signs of mets, which means the cancer is still there, but you're not in danger of your tumor bleeding and killing you that way.”

Nick swallowed, nodding. “Good to know,” he noted dryly. “Thank you. Really, thank you, Dr. Torres.” She met his eyes but didn't speak, both of them feeling Arizona and Tim exchanging glances without needing to see either of them. “I understand you're mad at me, I hurt people you love, I hurt people that I love, and you didn't have to take such good care of me. So, thank you.”

Pursing her lips, Callie nodded back to him. “You're welcome.” It was her job but reminding him of that would just sound cold. “Take better care of yourself from now on, how about?”

“You got it,” he agreed with a chuckle. “You've been great, but I'd rather not be your patient again.” One hand scratched at his scruff and he covered a yawn.

“Okay, well, I'll check in on you again later, but we should let you get some rest,” Callie told them all, jotting some notes in Nick's chart and flipping it closed.

Arizona's arm slipped around her waist and Callie looked down at her. “Addie's on her way,” she murmured.

It made her stomach tighten, her throat close. She was coming because there was something wrong. There was something wrong with her Arizona. Unwillingly her eyes found Tim, his arm around Sofia's shoulders. If something was wrong, they should know it. She was getting ahead of herself though. They didn't know anything yet.

“Come on,” Arizona coaxed gently, guiding her away with the arm behind her. “Sofia, come on, we're going to let Uncle Nick sleep now.”

“Can we come back before we go home?” she asked even as she obediently detached from Tim's side and skipped after her parents.

“We'll see,” said Callie, her voice hoarse. “Tim, you heading home?” He nodded sheepishly, scrubbing one hand through his hair and scratching at his neck. “Get some rest, brother. We'll call and check on you later too.”

“Later,” he said, following them out and waving as he went the other way down the hall toward the hospital's pharmacy.

They went to the daycare, neither one speaking but letting Sofia chatter happily. As they left her playing with her friends, Arizona kept Callie moving, steering them toward the on-call rooms. “Arizona...”

“Shh,” she hushed her wife, opening two rooms before finding one that was unoccupied. “In,” she directed her calmly. Callie complied, sighing as she entered the room. “Get in there,” Arizona requested, gesturing toward the lower bunk and staring until Callie obeyed and sat on the edge of the bed, her arms straight and tense, braced against the mattress on either side of her legs. “Lay down,” Arizona said, a note of pleading in her voice, the first crack in her armor. “Please.”

Callie slid under the upper bunk and stretched out against the wall, leaving plenty of room for Arizona to join her. The other woman was in her space a heartbeat later, pulling her arm out so she could pillow her head on her wife's bicep, and tangling their legs together. Breathing deeply, she settled closer as Callie's arm came across to cover her hip, leaving her protectively circled. Nothing could ever get her as long as she was here, in Callie's arms, surrounded by her body, her warmth, the steady beat of her heart, the slow puff of her breath against her own hair. It was perfect safety, contentment, being like this with Callie.

Neither spoke for a long while, just breathing, eyes open and drinking each other in. Arizona wanted to memorize everything about Callie, as if it wasn't all already irrevocably in her heart. “You're so beautiful.” The words were whispered, barely even audible, but Callie sighed, hand on her side sliding up to comb through blonde hair with two fingers, tucking it tenderly behind her ear. “And I love you so much...”

“Arizona, it's really sweet, but it sounds like you're trying to say goodbye to me, and if you ever do that, I will kick your perfect ass. Do you understand me?” Callie cut in, her voice serious and stern. “ _If_ there's something wrong, we will deal with it _together_. You are stuck with me. You will never say goodbye to me.”

A shy smile made Arizona's dimples appear and she ducked her face into Callie's arm. “I'm sorry. I just want you to know-”

“I do know,” Callie whispered, interrupting her again. “I love you, Arizona. And whatever we go through, we go through it together.” Her fingers slid down to guide her wife's chin up. “Whatever happens, whatever Addison tells us, I'm going to take care of you. And you'll take care of me. And we'll take care of Sofia. You with me?”

“As always,” agreed Arizona, unconscious worries relieved, and snuggled in more comfortably against her. “You're comfy. Can we stay here until Addie gets here?” Callie nodded her head, turning onto her back and moving over to give Arizona access to her side, which she promptly took, plastering herself against her.

Callie combed her fingers through soft fair hair, knowing how it relaxed the woman in her arms. In fact, Arizona found herself unable to resist sleep, falling into a heavy doze while Callie kept her close. She didn't know how long they'd been there, but Callie couldn't sleep, could only hold her wife and wait.

And even though she was waiting for it, the ringing of Arizona's phone from the pocket of her lab coat made her jump, Arizona moaning and stretching as she woke up. “Mmh, can you get it?” she mumbled, snuggling in again.

Smiling, Callie slid her hand to where the coat had fallen behind Arizona's back and slipped the phone free. Addison's name was on the screen and she swiped her thumb to answer it. “Hey,” she said, keeping her voice low. “Did you just land?”

“Callie, hey,” greeted the other woman, surprised to hear her voice instead of Arizona's. “I guess she told you I was coming? Is she doing okay?”

“She's right here,” Callie said, still speaking softly to avoid waking her wife completely. “She's sleeping.”

“No'm not,” murmured the blonde even as she burrowed her head deeper into Callie's chest.

Callie could hear the fond smile in Addison's voice. “Well, I actually just pulled up outside. Alex looked surprised to see me,” she commented, laughing hoarsely.

“Happy though, I bet,” Callie teased her lightly. It freaked Arizona out that two of her best friends had hooked up, but Callie thought they were good for each other. “We didn't have time to tell him you were coming.”

“How'd Nick's surgery go?” asked Addison.

“He's still an idiot, but he's a tumor-free idiot,” said Callie with a sigh, Arizona stirring against her chest.

“Congratulations,” the redhead sighed, knowing how much her friend's surgery had been stressing Arizona and Callie.

Callie could see Arizona's eyes moving behind her lids, the blonde waking up despite herself. “Give us a minute and we can meet you at Arizona's office.” She was hesitant to wake her any faster than she had to.

Addison understood. “Take your time. I'll see you when you get here.”

Mumbling, Arizona's fingers tightened in Callie's scrub top, almost as if she was faking being asleep, shaking her head without opening her eyes. “I don't want to get up.”

Warm lips brushed her forehead, Callie smiling against her skin. “You sound like Sofia,” she teased. “It's adorable, really.” For show, Arizona whined, imitating their daughter's grumpy morning routine perfectly. “Unfortunately, it's time to wake up, sweetheart.”

“Sofia gets a treat when she gets up,” groused Arizona.

It won her a laugh. “Oh no, she does not!” She clapped a hand to her wife's butt. “You better not be-”

“I'm not!” she protested with a laugh. “I should get one though.” Callie's hand on her backside squeezed firmly, the brunette leaning in to kiss her, the contact soft and slow and lingering. Deciding to treat herself, Arizona rolled onto her back, pulling Callie with her by the lips. Addison was waiting on them, but she needed this, needed her wife. And Callie went along willingly, settling herself over the other woman, their bodies fitting together perfectly. “Just one more minute,” she breathed into a momentary break between kisses, curling her calf over Callie's.

Callie didn't say anything, just kept kissing her, welcoming Arizona's tongue between her lips with a moan. She pushed back gently, both of them breathing hard. “You're a fantastic kisser, have I ever told you that?” Callie panted, Arizona smirking into the next kiss. “Rain check on the making out?” she requested, blinking open eyes she hadn't realized had fallen closed. Arizona was just that good. “We can't leave Addison hanging around.”

“But you'll leave me hanging?” asked Arizona even as she flopped back against the mattress. “Mean!” She was smiling though, sliding both hands up Callie's arms and over her shoulders, gently pushing her up. “Let's go.”

“But the making out, we're on?” Callie checked, sitting up beside her. She wanted to keep it light, give them something to look forward to, no matter how the meeting with Addison went.

“We'll figure something out,” Arizona promised. It might end up being cartoons on the living room floor with Sofia, but she was going to spend the time with her family. Smiling weakly, she kissed Callie's cheek before standing up and offering both hands to her partner.

Addison was chatting with Alex when they arrived, catching Arizona's eye over his shoulder and making him turn. He was one of the few who knew about the pregnancy and Addison's presence wasn't reassuring him, only making his expression tight and worried. “Boss...”

She stopped him with a hand on his chest. “Dr. Karev, you're making sure our friend is comfortable?” she asked, eyes begging him to let it go.

“Arizona,” he answered her, a rare use of her first name telling them all that he wasn't just going to obey this time. Ignoring her obvious deflection, Alex extended his arm and squeezed her shoulder. His eyes focused on Addison and Callie individually. “I don't know what's going on, but you two take care of her,” he ordered gruffly.

Even as Arizona scoffed, Callie nodded dutifully and he walked away, his back stiff, while Addison just blinked and stared after him. “He knows about the baby? I thought you hadn't told anyone yet.”

Arizona looked up to see her wife blush, Callie rolling her eyes. “I slipped up. But it's not like the morning sickness has exactly been subtle,” she added defensively.

That only served to remind them all of why Addison was there and the redhead cleared her throat. “Well, how about we get started?” she gently suggested.

Arizona led the way, fingers instinctively seeking Callie's hand and squeezing down hard.


	5. Chapter 5

Callie's breathing was steady and slow against Arizona's skin where she was holding her partner's hand against her mouth, but her heart was pounding in her chest. Addison was sitting on the opposite side of the bed, as silent as either of the others. Her friend's apology was still ringing in her ears, echoing through her head. “I'm so sorry.” Callie had said the words more than once herself to patients, but hadn't ever heard it from a doctor toward herself. It had been twenty-four hours of rushed scans, blood tests, everything Addison or Arizona could think to check, and the diagnosis was now echoing in her head – a tumor on the uterine wall, fed by the pregnancy hormones, malignant but so far not metastatic.

“It's early though, so we have options,” Addison continued slowly, her voice quiet and low. Neither Arizona nor Callie said anything, Callie still holding her wife's hand against her mouth, other arm wrapped around Arizona's forearm to hug it to her chest. “And I hate to ask, but we need to do something sooner rather than later,” she said, her regret clear in her tone. “The longer it-”

“I know,” Arizona croaked hoarsely. Her eyes were wide and unblinking. She knew all too well what her options were. And none of them were good. For her _or_ for her baby.

“It's still small, Arizona. I can get it,” Addison told her seriously. “You most likely wouldn't need chemo.”

“Chemo's not an option,” stated Arizona, voice brooking no room for discussion. “I'm pregnant.”

Sighing, Addison glanced between her friends. “I know you are, sweetie.” Kindly, trying to keep the blonde from snapping. Arizona was a fantastic mother, to the daughter they already had and the child still inside her.

“Chemo's not happening,” she insisted, still firm.

“Is there something else we can...?” Callie asked, her stomach roiling. There was a tumor inside her wife. She couldn't think past that.

Addison's gaze was sympathetic and it made Callie's heart clench. It would be easier terminate the pregnancy and do a D&C and get the tumor, but she knew without suggesting it that neither Callie nor Arizona would lose their baby for any reason. “The pregnancy hormones are making it grow faster than it normally would...” Again, it wasn't information that they hadn't already been able to figure out themselves. “So if you want me to try, I will.”

“No,” Arizona denied her without hesitation and Addison's mouth fell open.

“Arizona, wait, you need to think about this...”

“We're not risking the baby,” the Peds surgeon stated flatly.

Addison tried again to protest but Callie cut her off. “Wait, let's just talk for a minute. Addie, what do we know about the,” she choked on the word, “tumor? How fast will it grow if we leave it alone?”

The redhead sighed, her eyes falling to the tops of her knees. “Given the rate of growth so far... nothing good is going to happen if we leave it alone.”

Arizona scoffed sharply, the sound short and bitter. “It's a _tumor_ , Addison! There's nothing good about it!”

“Taking it out is dangerous, but it's probably just as dangerous to leave it in,” said Addison, her throat dry. She stood up slowly. She would have expounded on the details with any other patients but they were both doctors. They knew just as well as she did what they were facing without the explanation. “I'll let you two talk. Call me if you need me, okay?” Neither one answered and she left the room, pulling the door behind her with a soft click.

“I'm not losing our baby, Calliope,” Arizona said strongly as soon as it was closed. “I don't care what-”

“I _do_ ,” interjected Callie, squeezing her hand. “I will not lose you both, do you understand me?” Arizona only glanced at her and Callie's free hand reached up to seize her chin, guiding her head down to meet her eyes. “I _can't_ -”

Growling, Arizona's eyes teared up suddenly but she didn't blink, didn't let the tears fall. “What do you want me to do?!” she pleaded desperately. “I can't kill our baby.”

“I'm not – I would never!” Callie's shoulders slumped at the sight of watery blue eyes. “You know that...” Arizona nodded, bowing her head when her wife's hand dropped from her jaw to her stomach, covering her protectively. “I don't know what to do,” she confessed brokenly. “But I know that I can't lose you, and I know that I have been _furious_ at Nick for getting cancer and for waiting. Because it hurt you. It's been tearing you up to see him like that. And waiting now, watching you suffer, it will _kill_ me, Arizona.” She breathed deeply, squeezing her eyes closed for a long moment before she met Arizona's eyes again. “But I will do whatever you need to do here.”

Arizona whimpered, fingers of the hand Callie was still holding winding into her partner's shirt. Callie was right – they'd talked about this, if only in abstract, hypothetical terms, but still. If Callie was sick she'd lose her mind before she'd let her wife live with a tumor. She couldn't do that to Callie, couldn't do that to herself. She was raised by a Marine, had been taught to fight back. Cancer was not going to beat her. She was Arizona Robbins, married to the love of her life, mother to their perfect daughter, spending her life saving children. She had endless reasons to fight this. But still, the thought of risking her baby's safety made her blood run cold.

“Addison's good,” she said hoarsely. “She's the best.” Callie blinked at her but didn't speak. “The least we can do is hear her plan, right? We'll think about our options.”

Callie nodded, swallowing hard. “Okay,” she agreed hoarsely, pulling Arizona's hand to her mouth, kissing the back of it. “Honey, what can I do?” she pleaded. “I'll do anything for you.”

“Hold me,” answered Arizona without a pause, shifting sideways in the bed to give Callie room to join her. She was there immediately, blonde head pillowing itself in Callie's shoulder while strong arms wrapped her up.

“I will _never_ let go of you,” whispered Callie, kissing her hair softly. “I'm right here. I've got you. No matter what, I promise you...”

“Shh,” Arizona hushed her. She already knew the promises Callie had made to her. Her whole life was built on the vows she and Callie had exchanged. “I know,” she promised, gripping a handful of her shirt and hanging on. “You're stuck with me.” Suddenly she was choking, sobs tearing their way free.

Callie didn't try and quiet her, just held her closer as she clung to her. Arizona Robbins didn't break down though, wouldn't let herself collapse, even then. She gave herself a weak moment and then she locked it down, clenching her jaw and holding back her sobs into keening wails that quieted further into ragged breathing. Callie just stroked her hair, her back, squeezing her eyes closed and trying to keep from crying herself. Because there was cancer inside her wife. And it was early, yes, and Addison was their best shot, but nothing changed the fact that at that minute there was a tumor in Arizona.

“No one else I want to be stuck with,” Callie choked out, Arizona picking her head up at the sound of tears roughing up her partner's voice.

“Sweetheart, please don't cry,” she pleaded, two fingers wiping the tears away. “I can't stand seeing you cry.”

“You're sick,” Callie gasped, shaking her head. “And I should have known something was wrong, but-”

“Hey! Nothing about this is your fault, Calliope.”

“I'm supposed to take care of you-”

“Stop it!” Arizona interrupted again. “You do take care of me. I love you, and no one has ever loved me the way that you do. No one could take better care of me and Sofia than you do.” She blinked, smiling weakly before she lowered her head back to Callie's shoulder and let herself be tugged in closer. “And I have no doubt that you will keep taking perfect care of our family.” She sighed, one hand drawing circles across the top of her wife's chest over her top. “Let's get Addie back here.”

Callie didn't give up her place in Arizona's bed even when Addison did come back, just listened quietly and kept her arms around her wife. The procedure was far from average, trying to remove a tumor without disturbing a growing fetus, but Addison was the best Neonatal surgeon on the West Coast and the only one Arizona trusted to do this for her.

“But if it looks too close, don't go for it,” she instructed her friend. “Minimal risk to the baby.” Addison and Callie exchanged looks, the brunette's jaw tight. “Say it, Addie. Promise me.”

She sighed. “Minimal risk to the baby,” Addison dutifully recited. “I'm going to get it, though.”

Arizona drew in a breath to argue and Callie quickly talked over her, “Tim.” Two pairs of blue eyes were on her and she cleared her throat. “We have to tell him.”

“After-” Arizona tried, her heart falling further at the thought of telling her brother that she was sick, that she was pregnant and sick.

“Callie's going to need someone in the waiting room,” Addison added in her support. “And Timmy will kill you if you don't tell him about this until after. You know I'm right.”

Oh God. How could she do this to her brother, to Teddy, to Alex? Oh Christ, what about Sofia? How could she tell her baby girl that she might be sick for the rest of her life? And she was just a kid, she wouldn't understand cancer, wouldn't understand that her mother could get weaker and sicker... She already hated what the morning sickness had done to her normally playful and vibrant Mama...

“Sofia,” she whispered, looking up at Callie. “We have to...”

Callie hugged her closer. “We don't. She won't understand.”

“We have to tell her _something_!”

"And we will,” Callie promised. “We will. We just don't need to tell her _everything_.”

“We could wait a few weeks, a month,” Addison suggested hesitantly. “Let the tumor grow some, give you some time to help Sofia understand.”

“No,” Arizona flatly denied. She wasn't going to be Nick, waiting until her cancer nearly killed her to do anything about it. Living with this, knowing that it was growing inside her, stealing space from their baby, it was unbearable. “We're doing this...” She looked up at Callie again. “Will you call Tim? And tell him to bring Teddy. And page Alex,” she requested, chewing on her lower lip. “I can't do this more than once.” And she couldn't watch Callie sit through it more than once.

Callie kissed her head before shifting her hip to get her phone from her coat pocket. “Do you want me to get Sof?”

Fair hair fell in her face as Arizona shook her head. “No. Not yet.” It was going to be bad enough to see her brother's face when she told him, she couldn't do that _and_ explain it all to her little girl. “Tonight. Or-or tomorrow.”

“Okay,” Callie soothed her, rubbing the tops of her shoulders tenderly. “It's okay, sweetheart.” Her head ducked and she kissed her wife's shoulder through her shirt. “Do you want me to-?”

Arizona moved, letting Callie up from the bed. “You can go in the hall.” She knew her wife could use a minute to herself. Callie hesitated, finally moving slowly and sliding off the bed behind her. “Just-” Callie was almost to the door. “Come back quick?”

Callie was back at her side in a heartbeat, both hands framing her face as she dropped quick, desperate kisses all over Arizona's cheeks, her brows, her lips. Addison turned away as Arizona caught her wife's lips in a solid kiss, pale fingers weaving into dark hair and holding her close.

The brunette could only blink when Arizona's hands pushed her back suddenly a few all too short moments later. “Go,” Arizona requested. She sat up and curled her knees to her chest. This wouldn't be any easier for waiting.

“I promise, I'll be right back,” Callie stated as she backed away. “I won't leave your side, I won't let go of your hand.” Waiting in her chair, Addison swallowed thickly. The raw emotion in their voices – it was too much.

Callie paced the hall for a minute before sliding a finger across her phone's screen to her brother-in-law's number. He answered on the third ring and Callie had to close her eyes. She was going to break his heart and she knew it. But not telling him wasn't an option. “Tim...” The tone in her voice was enough to alert him. “We need you at the hospital.”

“What's wrong? Are you okay?” His voice was stressed, tight.

“It's Arizona,” Callie told him softly, her eyes squeezing closed. “She's okay, we just need to talk to you. She needs – we need you here. Please, Tim,” she begged him. “And Teddy. I'm paging Alex...”

“Okay,” he said in a hurry and she could hear him moving on his end of the phone, knocking into things in his haste. “What about the boys?”

They were too young to know anything about what they were going to say, and Arizona would probably like to see them – if anything – she stopped herself. That wouldn't happen. It _couldn't_ happen. Because she couldn't actually comprehend of a world that didn't have Arizona Robbins in it.

“Bring them,” she decided, her throat thick.

The noise on the other end stopped as he stopped moving. “Callie, if I'm bringing my kids to see their aunt for the – to say goodbye or something-” He choked. “Because it sounds...”

“It's not good,” Callie told him. “But she's _not_ going to die.”

“Tell me what the hell is going on, Cal,” Tim demanded, his voice louder. “She is my _sister_!”

“She's my _wife_!” she countered. “And she needs to tell you this herself. So get here. I've got to call Alex.” Frustrated, not specifically with him, but with the situation, she hung up the phone, slumping against the wall. And before she could even begin to think of reaching for her pager, almost as if he'd known that she wanted to see him, Alex rounded the corner. And even distracted by the chart in his hands, he knew something was wrong as soon as he saw her.

He didn't panic though, just came to stand beside her, his back against the wall next to her. “Torres, what's happening?” he asked softly.

“Arizona needs you,” Callie said, blindly reaching over to squeeze his wrist. “Alex...”

Understanding more than Tim, he sighed heavily. “What did Addison say?”

“Arizona wants to tell you herself.”

He turned his hand over to lace their fingers, giving her an outlet for her anxiety and letting her crush his hand. Callie was impressively strong but that didn't matter. Because there was something desperately wrong with someone they both loved for her to be squeezing his fingers like that. “Addie can help her, right?”

“She has to,” Callie breathed. She had no doubt that everything about her would fundamentally change if she didn't have Arizona. So failure here was not an option. “She has to be okay, Alex.”

“Tim's on his way?”

“Yeah.”

Alex nodded, letting go of another deep sigh. “Okay then.” He didn't move, just stood with her, waiting.


	6. Chapter 6

The conference room coffeemaker was probably the loudest thing she'd ever heard, or at least that's the way it sounded to Arizona's stressed nerves. But she refused to lay around in a hospital bed and tell her brother that she was sick, so she had insisted that they change the setting to somewhere moderately less hospital.

Alex was already there, rocking back and forth in one of the room's heavy rolling armchairs. It was squeaking softly when he moved, not helping Arizona's nerves. Addison was in the chair beside him with her fingers laced over the folder containing her friend's test results and scans. She glanced sideways at Alex when his knee bumped the underside of the table, eyes jumping away when he caught her gaze. Arizona was sitting at the table across from them but Callie was restless, pacing and fidgeting with everything she could touch. “Sweetheart, please come sit,” the blonde requested, looking over her shoulder at her partner.

“I just, I need some coffee...” She fumbled the cup and the porcelain rang against the tabletop.

Arizona stood up, both hands catching Callie's arms from behind, leaning her forehead against her shoulder. “Calliope, please, come sit with me.”

Tim and Teddy entered just then, each of them holding one of their sons. Tim's eyes were hard, an attempt to keep his anxiety in control, but he helped his wife set up a portable playpen for the boys, Arizona and Callie both turning to face them while Addison stood up to take Theo from Tim.

Tim held Teddy's chair as Arizona took her nephew and set him down with his brother. “Hey guys, look at this,” she whispered, shaking a colorful rattling ball at them. They both grinned up at her and Arizona sighed, leaning in to blow soft raspberries on their onesie covered stomachs. Content, Theo and Lucas fell gently backwards onto their backs and batted the ball between themselves as Arizona leaned back out of the pack and play.

“Arizona, what is going on?” Tim said as she settled back into her seat and took Callie's hand. “What are we all doing here?” His eyes lingered on Addison. He knew exactly what his sister's friend did for a living, but the way Callie had talked earlier, she wasn't in Seattle for a simple visit.

“Do you want the good news first, or the bad news?” Arizona asked him, her voice quiet. Callie had never been more proud of her partner's strength as she met her brother's gaze, a small smile even teasing the corner of her mouth.

Tim just stared at them. Their mother had always presented them with the choice between good news or bad news first whenever the Colonel had been deployed. He'd always asked for the bad news first and Arizona knew it. Of course, the bad news when they were kids was that Dad wasn't coming home as soon as they'd expected but he was coming home. He didn't know what to expect of his sister's bad news.

“Just tell me the truth,” he requested instead.

Arizona didn't flinch, just squeezed Callie's hand. “Okay.” She swallowed hard, licking her lips. “Okay, the truth is... I'm pregnant.” Teddy gasped and Alex and Addison caught each others' eyes, Tim still looking directly at his sister across the table. “But there's a tumor in my uterus and I need surgery to get it out,” she continued, her voice not wavering, eyes unblinking.

“Oh my God,” whispered Teddy, looking sideways at her husband and then across at her best friend as her still growing smile faded as quickly as it had appeared. “Arizona...” Without a word, but waiting on a nod from Callie, Addison passed her folder to Teddy, letting the other surgeon in the family look at her results.

Tim's gaze jumped from Arizona to Callie, seeing the heartbreak in her face where Arizona was projecting only strength. He stood abruptly, the chair rolling backwards away from the table. “Stand up,” he said, rounding behind Addison's seat to reach Arizona's chair. She complied, rising to her feet without letting go of Callie's hand. Then her brother's arms were around her, her face buried in his chest. “You're going to be okay,” he said into her hair. “You hear me?” Nodding, she wrapped her free arm behind his back. “Good girl,” he murmured. Meeting Callie's eyes over his sister's head, he swallowed. “What about Mom and Dad? Did you call them yet?”

“No,” Callie answered hoarsely. “Not yet.”

“We have to tell Sofia too, but don't call Mom until I'm in surgery,” Arizona directed, leaning back to meet his eyes. “Promise me.”

Tim looked torn but nodded. “When's the surgery going to be?”

“Tomorrow,” Addison answered from her seat.

“So what are you doing tonight? Staying here?” he asked, a frown furrowing his brows.

“Tonight I'm going home with my family,” said Arizona, supremely calm. “And I'm going to play on the floor with my baby girl, and I'm going to take my wife to bed,” Callie and Tim blushed simultaneously but Teddy and Addison smiled to themselves, “and I'm going to live my life.”

“And I don't think we need to hear any more about that,” Tim commented sarcastically, draping an arm across his sister's shoulders. “What time tomorrow?”

Arizona looked up at him, free hand slapping his chest. “What? Are you rushing me?”

“No, I just-”

She smiled, leaning her head against his shoulder. “I know, I'm sorry,” she said, feeling guilty for teasing him. “It'll be in the morning. After we take Sofia to her preschool.” Arizona didn't look up at him again, eyes falling to meet Callie's. “You'll be here? Callie's going to need someone to hold her hand.” Her voice went hoarse, her fingers squeezing her wife's.

“Of course,” Tim promised gruffly.

“And you'll call Mom and the Colonel? Don't make her have to deal with the old man,” she requested.

“We'll take care of Callie,” said Tim, looking at Callie, who only had eyes for Arizona. “Until you get back to do it yourself.” She didn't thank him, which would have made him want to smack her. Anything that sounded like goodbye was going to drive him over the edge. Instead he just cleared his throat. “Okay, then you guys get home and we'll see you in the morning.”

“Wait, I have a question,” Teddy said, standing up herself. “How are we not addressing the fact that you are _pregnant_?” she demanded, forcing a smile back to her lips. “How far along are you? And get your ass over here and give me a hug!”

Arizona laughed, her head falling back. Tim let her slip free and Callie rested her chin on her now free hand, watching Arizona hug her best friend and feeling Tim's hand on her shoulder. Then he crossed his arms on top of her head and she huffed, reaching up to shove his arm off of her. No matter what, he was still a big brother, _their_ big brother. Protective, but occasionally annoying. She knew beyond a doubt that he wouldn't leave her side tomorrow though, would sit with her through everything, keep her sane through all the anxiety and worry that the following day would undoubtedly bring.

She brutally shoved the thoughts, all the miserable possibilities, out of her mind. Instead she focused on the happy smile on her wife's face. Whatever else was going on, Arizona was overjoyed to be a mother again. And she was happy to be telling her friend, sharing their good news with people they loved. Any thinking beyond that would drive her crazy. Living without Arizona was something she couldn't consider so she forced herself to focus on the very immediate present – her wife smiling as she shared their good news with people who loved them.

Leaving them was hard, Arizona clinging to her hand as they left the conference room, Tim loath to let them go but knowing that they needed the time together with Sofia. So when her wife led them toward the patient rooms instead of the daycare, Callie was confused. “I need to tell Nick,” Arizona explained herself simply, leading Callie along by the hand without looking over her shoulder.

His room door was open and the sound of him flirting with the nurse responsible for bringing him his lunch was audible from the hall, making Arizona smile. “Hey, look who it is!” he said when he saw them, sitting up and peeking around for Sofia. “You didn't bring Sof?”

The nurse took the chance to slip out, sliding past Arizona in the doorway. “Not this time. We need to tell you something and then we'll let you rest.”

“So stop harassing the nurses before they start spitting in your food,” Callie added jokingly, her smile weak. Arizona squeezed her hand hard, leaning her head over onto the other woman's shoulder.

Nick was watching them, his expression thoughtful. “How do you get anything done around here, working with Phoenix every day? She's so damn cute!” he said as though Callie didn't already know that. Arizona just smiled, turning her face in to kiss the top of Callie's arm through her shirt.

“I pretty much don't,” Callie answered, teasing. One arm slipped around her wife's shoulders.

“So, what's up? What did I do to warrant a special visit?”

Arizona didn't lift her head from Callie's shoulder, just blinked at him and breathed deep. “I'm sick, Nick.” Any trace of a smile vanished from his face. It was clear from her tone that she wasn't talking about a cold, something minor. “After you showed up and had cancer, it freaked me out, you know? So I insisted that Calliope get some checkups too, just to make sure everything's okay, but-” she choked, laughing bitterly, “You know, I'm glad it's not you,” she said to her wife earnestly, looking up into her eyes. “Because you, sick, it-”

“Stop,” Callie murmured. “It's killing me that it's in you. I can't -”

“Arizona...” Her name from Nick stopped them both, his eyes serious. “I'm so sorry...” he said sincerely.

There was a tense, loaded moment of silence. Callie broke it. “I was pissed at you, for being sick and not telling anyone, for coming here and hurting people that I love.” She swallowed hard, breathing in the scent of blonde hair. “But I'm here right now to thank you. Because if you hadn't shown up and scared her, we might not have found this until later. And later is not okay with me,” she said. “Every day that something is wrong with her, I'm _not_ okay. So, for that, I'm glad you're here.”

Nick shifted his weight with both hands against the mattress. “Yeah, well I guess I am too.” He shrugged, looking sheepish. “And not just, you know, because you took out my tumor.” The realization struck and he focused on Arizona. “Wait, yours, are they-?”

“They're going in tomorrow morning,” Arizona answered.

“Shit.” His expression fell. “Arizona, you're going to be okay, right?” Nick asked, anxious now. Arizona just swallowed, shoulders moving underneath Callie's arm. “Okay, well, I'm not going anywhere, okay? I know you've got Tim, and Callie, and that guy in the scrubs with the short hair that's always walking by and glaring,” the description of Alex's behavior won a smile from them both, “but I'll be here as long as you want me.”

Arizona left Callie's comforting, easy embrace to hug Nick awkwardly, the first time she'd done so since his arrival, she realized. “You're just saying that because you can't walk,” Arizona joked hoarsely. His arm held her close and she remembered how good his hugs were, relaxing into the contact. It felt good, being this close to him again. Without the awkward frustration that had colored their previous interactions. 

“Hey, can't walk _yet_!” Callie defended her work from behind them.

Withdrawing, Arizona shot her a wink over her shoulder as she backed herself into her wife's arms again. “Of course,” she murmured her agreement. 

“How are you feeling today?” asked Callie, unable to help herself. She resisted the desire to pick up his chart and check his latest readings. She wasn't taking her arms away from around Arizona.

“I was okay,” Nick answered, scratching at his beard with one hand. “Now... Arizona, just... hang in there, yeah?”

“We'll let you know how it goes tomorrow, okay?” She'd shared her news, now she just wanted to go home with Callie and Sofia. She was glad Nick knew, but all she wanted was time with her family. “Take me home?” she requested, whispering to Callie.

“Of course,” echoed Callie softly, nuzzling into her neck, both arms wrapping around the blonde's hips. “See you later, Nick.”

Understanding, he nodded, yawning and waving. “Good night.” Callie walked them out of the room without surrendering her grip on her partner, no matter that it was an awkward way to walk with their height differences.

Sofia's choice for dinner was lasagna, giving them plenty of time while it was in the oven, Arizona willingly stretching out on the floor with their daughter to help with a puzzle while Callie watched over the top of the article she wasn't reading on her laptop. Arizona sat up to preface a second attempt at the puzzle once it was complete, patting her thighs and drawing Sofia into her lap. “Can we talk to you for a minute?” she asked, combing fingers through unruly dark hair.

Distracted, Sofia just shrugged. “Can we do the puzzle again after?”

“Sure, baby.” Callie leaned forward, her forgotten article falling aside. Arizona glanced sideways at her but her expression was calm, ready. “I don't want to scare you, and you don't need to worry, but I've got to have surgery tomorrow.”

Her little face screwed up, trying to figure out what reaction to have to that statement. “Like, get cut open?” Arizona nodded. “Is Mami doing it?”

“No, sweetheart,” Callie answered, getting a frown for her response. If asked, Sofia would proudly claim that her parents were the best surgeons ever. So if Mama was getting cut open, it only made sense that Mami would do it. And no one would take better care of Mama than Mami. “Your Aunt Addie's going to do it.”

Sofia's grumpy expression didn't change, the little girl not sure she understood why her mothers couldn't just take care of each other. “I want Mami to do it!” she declared stubbornly, narrowing her eyes at each of her parents.

“I can't,” said Callie, trying to think of an explanation that would appease her.

“How come?”

“It's like how when you're sick we take you to get medicine from Uncle Alex,” Arizona jumped in. “Because me and him are the same kind of doctors-”

“You're the best, Mama,” Sofia stated loyally, winning her a smile and hug.

“-but I'm not allowed to be your doctor at the hospital because I love you so much that I wouldn't be able to be a good doctor to you since I would be afraid,” Arizona tried to explain, her eyes finding Callie's over Sofia's head. “And Mami, she loves me so much and if she had to cut me open she wouldn't be able to do a good job because she'd be so scared about hurting me. Do you understand?”

Sofia's thoughtful gaze swung to Callie. “Is that true, Mami?”

“Yes, sweetie,” Callie told her hoarsely. “I couldn't operate on Mama because I would be too scared to hurt her.” She leaned closer, kissing Sofia's cheek and making her squirm in Arizona's arms. “But your Aunt Addie knows what to do and she's going to take good care of your mama, okay?”

“She loves Mama too, though!”

“Not the way Mami does,” Arizona said, laughing. “And there's no one I trust more to help us than your Aunt Addie, alright?”

“What about Aunt Teddy?” bargained Sofia. Aunt Addie was nice, but she spent more time with her Aunt Teddy.

“Aunt Teddy's a heart doctor. Mama's heart is fine, sweetie,” Callie told her. “What's making her sick is in her tummy with the baby.”

Sofia's scowl was immediate and dark. “I don't like the baby! Making my mama sick!”

“Sofia, stop it,” Arizona cut in firmly. “The baby isn't making me sick. I have a tumor in my tummy where the baby is, that's all.”

Sofia's expression cleared somewhat. She knew what a tumor was. “Tumor like Uncle Nick's? Mami took that out.”

“And Aunt Addie is going to take mine out tomorrow,” said Arizona, one hand smoothing her little girl's curls.

“You gonna be okay?” Sofia asked, lower lip starting to tremble as she put the reality together, remembering her mothers' stress over Nick and his illness.

“Sweetheart, I would never leave you,” Arizona promised fervently. “And Aunt Addison is going to take good care of me, but I'm going to need you and Mami to come visit me after the surgery, okay? To help me feel better.”

Sofia nodded dutifully, looking at Callie for agreement that they would be there as soon as possible. “Of course,” Callie confirmed. Of course, she had no intention of going anywhere further than the waiting room without knowing that Arizona was okay. “We'll be there,” she promised, leaning down to kiss Arizona's cheek, the blonde tilting her face up into it.

“More of those and I'll be good as new,” Arizona said, forcing her voice to stay light. Sofia promptly clambered up on her knees so she could peck quick, light kisses all over her mother's face. Laughing, Arizona pulled her into a hug. “Do you have any questions, anything you want to know?”

Sofia was quiet, still trying to understand it all. “You'll be okay, Mama,” she said instead, ducking her face into the blonde's neck and hanging on tight, whimpering. Arizona sighed, wrapping both arms around her daughter, one arm around her shoulders and the other behind her legs, holding her close and rocking her while she murmured soothing words into her ear.

Dinner restored some of the normality, Sofia's appetite not diminished by the news her mothers had shared. And after dinner was the routine they'd developed – cleaning up their dishes to music, Arizona washing, Sofia drying, and Callie replacing them in the cabinet while serenading them all singing along to whatever was playing on the radio. Bedtime was simpler than expected, preschool wearing Sofia out enough that she didn't fight against sleep. She did insist that Arizona stay until she fell asleep, Callie following them up the stairs where she would have normally stayed on the couch with a medical journal or the television remote.

And when Sofia was sleeping peacefully Callie wordlessly extended her hand and led Arizona to their bedroom. There was no pretense there, no playing at their normal bedtime routine. Instead, both climbed onto the bed in their clothes, Callie turning over to face Arizona as they settled on their sides. “I have some stuff I want to say to you and you can't interrupt, okay?” Arizona whispered. “Just let me talk...”

“Arizona-” Callie started to protest.

“Just let me talk,” Arizona repeated insistently, her hand finding Callie's shoulder and stroking circles into her shirt. Callie finally nodded after an extended moment of eye contact. She was going to do her best to let Arizona say her piece, but God help her if she said anything resembling goodbye to her. Callie already knew she couldn't hear it. Goodbye was not something she could say to Arizona.

“If something happens, I need you to be happy and move on,” Arizona said promptly. Callie's mouth fell open and Arizona covered it with her hand, continuing quickly, “Not immediately or anything, you know. I want a respectable mourning period and all...”

Callie bit her finger, making her snatch her hand back. “If you keep talking, I _will_ kick your ass,” Callie said firmly. “I will _not_ lose you, do you understand?”

“You don't get to decide that, Calliope,” Arizona reminded her patiently. “Just, whoever you rebound with, make sure they're not hotter than me?” she requested with a hopeful, teasing smile.

It won her a scoffing laugh, Callie fondly swatting the side of her head lightly. “Shut up.”

“I'm serious,” Arizona insisted lightly. Her smile didn't disappear but faded, sobered into something else, her expression thoughtful and considering. “And,” her voice was thick, choked, “make sure they love Sofia. Make sure they're good to her, to you. You-you have to make sure that you two are the center of their world, the way you're the center of mine,” she said roughly, Callie's hand sliding down to cup her face.

“You understand while you're saying all of this, that you're the center of our worlds too, don't you?” Callie countered. “I will never love another person.” There was no one else, ever, that she would love the way she loved Arizona. No number of lifetimes would change that.

“I know,” Arizona promised, blinking her impossibly blue eyes at her. “But you deserve to be happy, Calliope. And Sofia deserves two parents. Just make sure she knows how much I love her, okay?”

“I won't have to, because you'll be here to tell her every day,” Callie told her seriously. “You think I can plan our lives without you, Arizona? Well I can't! So whatever happens tomorrow, you have to come back to me.” Her eyes were pleading. “And you have to stop talking like this, okay? Because I can't deal with this. I will take care of Sofia, I promise, but I can't – the rest of it, I just can't-”

The sudden kiss was surprising but she went with it, both hands diving into blonde hair and tugging her in closer, letting Arizona push them backward. Falling onto her back, Callie pulled her wife over her so firmly that they almost pitched over the side of the bed entirely. Arizona's hands were on her face, in her hair, sliding down her arms and back up her sides, one leg falling between hers as she let her mouth fall open to welcome her wife’s tongue.

Immediately wild and passionate, the kiss sparked the familiar heat between them, Arizona pushing closer only to be dumped on her back while Callie flipped their positions. Arizona could only whine in protest when she slowed the kiss immediately, holding her still beneath her.

“We will do this,” Callie promised, already breathless. “But we're not just going to _fuck_ ,” Arizona's hips bucked up into hers, “I'm going to make love to my wife.” Arizona's next push up was slower, making Callie's eyes fall closed as she gasped. They hadn't even gotten their clothes off yet and she couldn't breathe. “Sit up,” she ordered, panting. “Get naked.”

Arizona smiled suddenly into their kiss, obediently pushing herself up and moving Callie with her. “Okay,” a kiss, “but you just have to sit there,” she directed even as she raised her arms to tug her shirt over her head. Callie was already reaching for fair flesh, but Arizona slid backwards and slipped off the bed before she could reach her, the brunette sighing as she flopped onto the mattress. The sound of a zipper, denim rustling, made her flip over in a hurry though, watching Arizona shimmy her jeans down. Her wife in bra and panties, _just_ bra and panties, was too much to resist, and Callie shifted to the side of the bed to slide her hands across smooth, warm flesh.

Arizona's smile was teasing but she didn't swat her hands away, just moved into her grasp and let herself be drawn between her wife's thighs. Callie dipped her head to kiss just under her bra, soft lips worshiping her skin, and Arizona combed both hands through soft, dark hair and down to tease just under the collar of her shirt. “I'm _so_ in love with you.”

The whisper drew Callie's head up and their eyes met. A crooked, beautiful smile was on her lips. “You are? Still? After all these years?” she questioned quietly.

Arizona's hand slipped across her cheek gently. “All these years, you mean our life together, our daughter? Yes. I love you for giving me our life, our family. I love everything about you, Calliope...” Her breath hitched as her wife's lips resumed their slow exploration of her skin. “I _really_ love when you do that.” A hot tongue trailed down her stomach and she jumped when strong hands slid down her sides and grasped her ass, moving her forward into nonexistent space so that she had to put her knees on the bed on either side of Callie's hips, straddling her. “Calliope...” There was no space between them, her nearly naked torso pushed into Callie's face, lips and tongue making her crazy.

“I know something else you love,” husked Callie, sliding back on the bed and leaning down sharply to nip at Arizona's hipbone just above her panties before she laid back, two fingers in between Arizona's breasts dragging her down with her. “Let me taste you,” she coaxed, leaning up to suck on the other woman's bottom lip.

It was pulled from between her lips with a pop when Arizona gasped. “Oh my- _fuck_.”

“That's the idea,” Callie teased, pleased with the reaction. “Well, you know, sort of.” Because there would be time for fucking her wife later. Right now she just wanted to savor her, take her time trying to express her love for every single thing about Arizona Robbins.

It won her a dimpled grin, blonde hair falling around her face as she tugged the elastic band from Arizona's ponytail. “You good there?” Arizona checked, lips swollen and her chest heaving as she tried to catch her breath.

“I'll be better when you get naked,” Callie answered, dropping her eyes deliberately to the fabric still covering her. “Lose 'em.” Arizona didn't even seem to move off of her, but after a blink she was naked and kissing her.

She could only moan when Callie kissed deliberately down her chest, moving with purpose toward her goal. Arizona looked down, her eyes locking on Callie's. The look there, the love in her eyes, made Arizona's breath come short again. And then Callie's lips and tongue were on her and her eyes slammed closed. Strong hands held her hips, Callie humming into her as she devoured her. “Oh God, thank you,” she gasped out. “Holy shit, you're good at that!”

Callie chuckled, making her buck as the sound vibrated against her center. One hand slid up and down her tensed thigh, lightly scratching, teasing and heightening the sensation of everything. She could only whine and gasp pleadingly when the touch wandered inward slowly. Callie knew precisely how to play her like an instrument, driving her higher and higher, keeping her on the edge and letting the pleasure wash through her. Fingers curled inside her made her pitch forward, catching herself on her hands as she rode out her oncoming orgasm.

“Calliope, I love you. Please, _please_ make me come.” It was more than enough for Callie, tightening her suction on her wife's clit and her fingers pushing in deeper to send her over the edge.

Both were breathless when Arizona flopped over into the pillows, Callie crawling up to join her, wrapping both arms around her and holding her tightly as she nuzzled into her wife's neck, kissing just under her ear. “Hey,” she whispered, pleased with herself.

“Hey,” moaned Arizona in reply, snuggling backward into her. The clothes Callie were still wearing were too hot against her back. Bare flesh would be better. “How come you're not naked?” she asked, mumbling.

“Got distracted,” Callie sighed happily, kissing her skin again. Everything about Arizona just tasted so good. She could easily find herself distracted again. “Mmh,” she hummed, pulling her earlobe into her mouth to flick the flesh with her tongue.

“Calliope...”

“What?” she questioned, resuming her exploration of the blissed out blonde's neck. “You didn't think that was going to be it, did you? Because I'm not _nearly_ done with you yet, sweetness,” Callie promised, sucking under her jaw. It struck her suddenly that she wasn't talking about just being in bed with her right now – she wasn't nearly done with her life with Arizona yet. Not even a decade with the love of her life wasn't long enough. She needed more. She wouldn't ever be done with Arizona.

Arizona rocked back to look up at her face, a pleased, happy smile on her lips. “That sounds pretty good to me, but I'm going to need you to get naked,” she bargained. Her brows dropped when she spotted the expression on her wife's face. “What? What is it?” She had a pretty damn good guess – she had _cancer_ , she was having _surgery_ – but she wasn't sure if she wanted that to come up _now_ , when the night had actually been going pretty well (all things considered).

It took her a moment to respond, dark eyes drinking in her face. “I will never have this with anyone else,” Callie whispered. “No matter what, Arizona, you are it for me.” She blinked and her throat closed. “If-if I ever had to – it wouldn't be like this. I will never have _anything_ like I have for you, like I have with you. You know?”

Arizona's throat moved as she swallowed. She understood perfectly, because Calliope Torres was it for her too. There was no one else. There would never be anyone else. “I do – I know,” she whispered. She lifted her head to catch a kiss, Callie's hands on her face, her body shifting closer. She couldn't make promises about how it would go tomorrow, but she was here tonight, they both were. That was what mattered now. Everything else would have to wait.


	7. Chapter 7

This was what going mad felt like, Callie was sure of it. Sitting and waiting for hours while the love of her life was naked and cut open, it was unbearable, and she was positive that too much more of it would make her lose her mind. She rolled the empty cardboard coffee cup between her hands, looking over when Tim sighed beside her.

“You want another one?” he asked considerately, the Marine leaned over with his elbows on his knees. Teddy was on his other side, her arm resting on his back, her fingers stroking idly at the back of his neck.

“Any more and I'll throw up,” Callie answered him, Tim standing up anyway. She couldn't blame him for not being able to sit still. She'd have worn a trench in the floor pacing if she wasn't sure that her knees couldn't support her at the moment. He walked restlessly to the coffeemaker but didn't pour any, just bounced his fist on the counter top. Alex was the one covering the pacing for their group, the younger surgeon entirely unable to keep still since Arizona had first gone in. He'd been unable to actually stay in the waiting room for longer than five minutes at a time, spending his anxious endlessly wandering between where they were waiting and checking on his patients in Peds.

Teddy moved into Tim's seat when she spotted the motion beyond the door to the surgical wing, Addison's return. Her throat clearing got Tim's attention and he spun. Callie forced herself to stand when she saw her, silently begging that Addison wasn't going to come through those doors and destroy her life.

The look on her face wasn't exactly encouraging when she pushed open the door. She was wearing fresh scrubs, the creases still there from where they'd been folded in the laundry pile, which was either a good sign or a very bad one. Paired with her expression, the news wasn't good.

“Callie...” She started hesitantly, her head shaking. She was a professional, consummate and in control, but she didn't know how to look into this woman's eyes and say what she had to. “I just – I'm so – there was too much bleeding.”

Shocked gasps sounded behind her but Callie couldn't hear past her heart thundering through her head. She shoved past Addison, through the double doors. She couldn't hear it, couldn't process if she'd lost her, she had to see it for herself. She'd held Arizona's hand as they'd put her under, but she couldn't think straight enough to remember which OR that had been and she knocked open the wrong room more than once before she found the right one.

They'd just unplugged the monitors when she charged in and she stumbled, one of the anesthesiologists catching her arm. “No – no, no, _no, **no**_...”

“Dr. Torres, what-?”

“She – she can't be-”

“Dr. Torres, no, it's not – Dr. Robbins is alive,” one of the nurses said, speaking loudly and trying to make sure the surgeon heard her. “She's alive!” As if to prove her right, Arizona's hand twitched on the sheet. Callie had never felt more like she was going to faint in her life.

“A-alive?” Callie stumbled forward, closer to the table. “She's alive? B-but Addie – Dr. Montgomery said-” Callie wasn't used to stammering when not in front of a crowd, but it was a minor miracle she could speak at all. “Addie said there was too much blood...”

The pieces of the truth fell into place within seconds of each other – the realization that the sheet bunched in a staring intern's arms was stained with dark, deep red blood, but Arizona was alive, and Addison was sorry.

Then the Neonatal surgeon's voice was behind her, “We lost the baby.” Addison gestured to usher the nurses and residents from the room, leaving her alone with Callie and an unconscious Arizona.

The floor dropped out from under her, the world stopped spinning, and her heart ceased to beat as the words registered, Callie unconsciously clasping a hand to her chest. Their baby was dead?

“The tumor was a safe distance away, I swear,” Addison continued, her voice still soft. It sounded like the tone of someone trying not to provoke a wild animal. “And I didn't go near the sack, it just ruptured. It wasn't anything we could have expected. The way it looked, she could have miscarried even if we hadn't gone in, even if there wasn’t a tumor.”

“Stop,” Callie gasped, staring at the traces of blood left on the sheet under Arizona's legs. They'd lost their baby. She forced herself to tear her eyes away from the sight of Arizona pale and unknowing on the bed. Her eyes were watery with tears when she met Addison's gaze. She took a long step forward and caught Callie's arms by the elbows, holding her steady. “Tell me I'm not going to lose her,” Callie pleaded, blinking and sending tears streaking down her face. “Tell me you got it all.”

“I got it all,” Addison promised immediately, nodding. She caught Callie as the other woman collapsed into her shoulder, wrapping her arms around her friend's shaking head. “I'm so sorry, Callie.”

She let herself cry for a minute, equal parts devastated and relieved, before she forced her head up from Addison's shoulder. Then she wiped her eyes and tried to catch her breath. “I have to tell her. It has to be me,” she said, her voice hoarse. “Did you tell Tim, or anyone?”

“No,” answered Addison. “I thought you should know first. But I'll tell them if that's what you want. I'll tell Arizona too.”

Callie shook her head, breathing deep. It hurt her chest. “No, she's my wife, it was our baby. I have to tell her.” She scrubbed at her cheeks, making the blood feel hot under her skin. She didn't know how to do this, didn't know how to tell Arizona that she had her life back but didn't have their baby. “Can we get her out of here? When can I take her home?” she asked, trying desperately not to lose control.

“I'll make sure she's in a private room in twenty minutes,” Addison promised. “But you know she'll have to stay for a few days. I want to keep an eye on her, make sure there's no more bleeding.” Callie winced and she sighed heavily. “Honey, if you want me to tell her...”

“Let me know when she's settled,” Callie said instead. “I want to be there when she wakes up.” Moving around the taller redhead, Callie leaned over the sleeping blonde and kissed her forehead, her cheeks. “I love you,” she whispered into her ear, pushing the cap back (one of Arizona's personal pink scrub caps) to kiss her hair.

And she knew that she should probably go out and be with Tim, Teddy, and Alex, with their family who loved them, but she just couldn't do it, couldn't see the sorrow, the pity, on their faces when they heard. She needed to have a moment to let out her own grief before she had to look into the face of the woman who was her whole world and tell her that they'd lost their baby. So instead of returning to the waiting room, she ducked into the first vacant on-call room she could find and locked herself in.

The heavy click of the lock was the end of her strength, Callie slumping back against the door and letting her pain surface. It escaped in a fast flow of hot tears, her sobs making her entire body shake. Her knees were weak and she slid to the floor, legs curled to her chest as she tried to deal with the scope of their loss. Time passing was only discernible by the increasing ache in her chest as sobs wracked her. And then her pager chimed with a room number and she leaned her head back against the door with a thump. She had to put herself together, for Arizona. Even the thought of telling her made her heart shatter in her chest.

Arizona had struggled so hard with even wanting kids in the first place, and then with the decision to carry their baby this time, had been dealing with weeks of unrelenting morning sickness, she had _wanted_ , had _loved_ their baby so much already. This was going to destroy her. And Callie was going to be destroyed watching it.

In the bathroom of Arizona's room the wet paper towel felt like ice against her overheated face, but she succeeded in making it less than obvious that she'd spent the last half of an hour crying her eyes out. And her wife was still sleeping, so she slumped into the chair that she'd pushed up next to the bed, one hand seeking out Arizona's on the blanket as she let her head fall back, willing to wait. The longer Arizona stayed asleep, the longer she could live without knowing what had happened. But Callie desperately needed to see her wife's eyes, for her own peace of mind, so she was torn between waking her and letting her sleep.

The quiet ambiance provided by the machines surrounding the bed was numbing and combined with the exhaustion of grief, Callie was struggling not to collapse again. Only the thought of Arizona catching her crying kept her eyes dry. It couldn't keep her head up, though, and she gradually slumped into the mattress next to their joined hands.

“Hey.” Callie had no way to know how long she'd been resting, but the hoarse greeting made her head shoot up. “Happy to see me?” Arizona asked weakly, a smile curling her lips.

“Always,” Callie answered in a gasp, squeezing the blonde's fingers tight enough to make her wince. “Sorry,” she apologized meekly, standing up quickly to kiss her cheek. “How are you feeling?”

Arizona stretched and groaned. “Mostly just sore. And groggy. Can I have some water?” she asked, smacking dry lips. Callie fumbled with the pitcher and it made Arizona quirk an eyebrow at her curiously. Her wife wasn't clumsy but she supposed she had the right to be today.

“Here you go.” She held the straw steady for her, her eyes sliding away from her partner's blue gaze.

“Hey,” prompted Arizona softly, grimacing as she bumped her IV against Callie's cheek, turning her face back to meet her eyes. “Are _you_ okay?”

Swallowing hard, Callie pulled on her bottom lip with her teeth, chewing on it anxiously. “No,” she whispered, barely breathing. “I'm not.”

Arizona's eyes jumped around the room, her mouth moving without sound escaping for a long moment. “Oh – okay, so she couldn't get it – or-or-”

“She got it,” Callie interjected softly, watching the realization dawn on her face. If it wasn't her then it was...

“The baby?”

Callie Torres was a fantastic doctor, good with patients, good with their families, good at delivering bad news, but she couldn't do this with a straight face. And watching her expression crumble, the tears that bloomed in her eyes, Arizona knew the truth. “Addison said, she said the sack just – and there was too much blood.” She swallowed hard, her hands trembling. Arizona's hands were limp on the sheets. “We lost the baby, sweetheart.” Breathing deep, Callie shook her head. “I'm so sor-”

“No,” Arizona cut her off. “No-no- _no-no- **no**_!” Her voice got higher and higher, tears breaking down her cheeks. It hurt but she rocked over onto her side, her knees curling into her chest in a futile attempt to protect herself from the pain. Callie was at a loss for a moment before instinct took over and she stood up, sliding onto the mattress behind her wife. At the first contact Arizona bucked, resisting, but Callie wrapped her up regardless, one leg coming over to hold Arizona's lower half still. “Let me go!” Arizona cried, sobbing bitterly.

“No.” Callie's denial was simple, her hold steady and protective. Letting her go would never, ever happen.

“Callie, let go!”

“No,” she repeated herself, dropping her face into the blonde's neck and letting her own tears go. “I'm so sorry, but I'm not letting you go. I'm here, I'm hurting, and I'm not leaving you, Arizona.” Her voice was hoarse with her own grief. “I need you, you understand? I can't – I don't know how to do this without you.” Arizona's arms wriggled free from underneath Callie's grip, curling up at the elbows to hug tanned forearms to her chest. “Honey, I'm so, _so_ sorry.”

“Shh.” They were both sobbing, shaking and trembling, but they were together. Arizona was still too weak to resist succumbing to unconsciousness again, crying herself out until she was limp and heavy in Callie's arms. Callie didn't move though, her tears drying sticky and cold on her face but she didn't wipe them away, her hands too busy stroking Arizona's hair, her neck, her arms, and finally, the flat plane of her stomach. She hadn't even been showing yet... And now she might never get to see her partner pregnant. There was no way to know how Arizona would cope with this.

She wasn't sure how she was going to cope with this. Her baby was dead and it felt like her fault. Because she had chosen Arizona. She'd all but told Addison to save Arizona over the baby. And she knew it wasn't rational – the surgery was necessary, and a baby at ten weeks was nowhere near viable, and Addison would have kept her promise of minimal risk – it was just something that had happened. But at the end of the day their baby was dead and Arizona was alive and that was the choice she'd made. Or at least that's how it felt to her. It didn't matter to her grieving mind that there really hadn't been a choice to be made. It still felt like a choice she'd made, their baby for her wife.

Callie was calm when Arizona woke again, back in her chair. She could see the moment Arizona remembered that she was no longer pregnant, blue eyes closing and her breathing going shaky for a long second. “I need Sofia,” the blonde whispered, opening her eyes when Callie stood up.

“I'll go get her,” Callie promised. “She wants to see you too. She's just out in the waiting room with Tim and everybody.”

The thought of her brother knowing, the look on his face when he saw her, made her want to cry again. “Callie,” she called her back before the other woman made it to the door. “Just Sofia? For now? I just,” she sighed, “I want it to just be us.”

“It's okay,” said Callie, nodding. “I understand. I'll be right back, okay?” Arizona swallowed, her head bobbing. “Hey,” her eyes went back to Callie's face, “I love you.”

It earned her a weak, tired smile. “I love you too. Come back quick. I need my doctor prescribed snuggles.” She was trying to keep it light but her smile wavered, her eyes watery.

“I'll get her and be right back,” promised Callie with a forced smile, pulling the door behind her.

Tim was on his feet as soon as she came through the swinging door to the waiting room, Sofia tearing free of Teddy's grip on her hand and running across the room to her mother in a flurry of slapping feet. Callie crouched to catch her, standing up with her daughter in her arms.

“She's okay, baby. Mama's okay,” she soothed her, swaying from side to side unconsciously. “She woke up asking to see her favorite girl,” she told Sofia, getting a dimpled grin from her. “You want to go see her?”

“Yes!” At a look she belatedly tacked on a “Por favor, Mami.”

Tim looked lost, taking a half step forward. “She's okay, Tim,” Callie started, knowing that he wanted to help but wasn't sure how.

“She can't be,” objected Tim, brows furrowed in denial. Addison had told them what had happened with the baby and there was no way Arizona was okay.

“No, she's not,” Callie agreed with a sigh. “And I know it's killing you, but you can't help her this time.”

Morose, his shoulders slumped but he nodded. “Okay, well you have to take care of her.” Before Callie could turn he took a long step forward and tugged her into a hug. “Take care of each other,” he corrected himself. “I'm so sorry, Cal.”

Swallowing hard, Callie nodded, her throat thick. Teddy cleared her throat as their eyes met. “We're going to go to my office, but call if you two need _anything_ ,” she directed, waiting until she got another nod before Tim stepped back.

“Maybe you guys could come by for dinner? Bring the patient some non-hospital food?” Callie suggested in a hurry, wanting to give him some way to be helpful and considerate and _Tim_.

Grateful for a tangible way to help, Tim nodded eagerly. “Yeah, sure, count on it!”

“We'll check in later, before we come,” Teddy added, hooking an arm through her husband's and lacing their fingers to lead him away.

“Mami, Mama now!” Sofia requested impatiently, kicking her feet as Callie carried her obligingly back through the doors toward the patient rooms and Arizona.

The smile that graced her face when Arizona saw Sofia lit up the room, Callie letting her down to dash across the room and climb into bed with her. “You all better, Mama?” Sofia questioned, sitting up on her knees to survey the situation for herself.

“Yes, sweetie, I'm all better.”

“Still sore though, so be gentle,” Callie cut in before the little girl got too eager to play rough.

“No more tumor?”

“No more tumor,” Arizona confirmed, opening her arms. “Come here.” Sofia clambered into her arms slower than she normally would, but snuggled into her chest eagerly. Arizona kissed the top of her head and tugged her in closer, meeting Callie's eyes over her head. “You think we have room for Mami, sweetheart?”

“You sure?” Callie asked, whispering. She wanted nothing more than wrapping her arms around her family and holding them tight but she knew Sofia was squirming and wiggling on painful spots. She didn't want to make it worse.

Arizona nodded, sliding onto her side and giving Callie space behind her. “Please.”

Callie carefully positioned herself higher on the bed than either Arizona or Sofia so that her arm was over their heads, the other hand finding her wife's hip and then over to curl behind Sofia's back. Arizona picked her head up to allow her arm to slip under her neck so she could pillow her head on the Ortho surgeon's bicep. “You okay?” Callie whispered into her hair.

“Not yet,” answered the blonde, her eyes falling closed. “But this helps.”

A knock on the door prefaced more talk, Addison peeking her head in cautiously. “You know, I think as your doctor, I should protest this,” she commented, tone light. “But as your friend, I find it cute.” Arizona sent her a weak smile from the haven of Callie's arms. “Sweetheart, I'm so sorry,” she said earnestly.

“It happened,” Arizona sighed, cutting her off. “Other than _that_ , how'm I doing, doctor?”

Addison nodded, trying not to take the professionalism personally, her eyes dropping to the chart she was holding with both hands. “Well, that's actually what I'm here to check on.”

“Sofia, hop down, okay?” Callie requested, which earned her a narrow glare from her daughter. 

Pouting, she clung tighter to Arizona. “I don't wanna! I wanna stay with Mama! Don't make me go, Mama!” she pleaded desperately. Her parents' hearts shattered further.

Pale fingers laced through her dark hair, Arizona looking at Sofia calmly. “You don't have to leave, sweetie. Just jump down out of the bed and go sit with Mami for a few minutes, okay?” She dropped a kiss on her cheek, nuzzling her nose against Sofia's. “For a few minutes.”

“You promise?” The pout on her face really shouldn't be allowed. It was too damn adorable.

“I promise.” Arizona kissed her again. “Now scoot. The sooner Aunt Addie and I get finished, the sooner we can snuggle.”

Callie was a few seconds behind Sofia in sliding off the bed, kissing Arizona's temple and palming the outside of her thigh. “I'm getting out of bed, but I'm not going anywhere,” she promised seriously. Arizona nodded under her lips, making them drag against her skin. “I love you.”

“I love you,” echoed Arizona, wincing as the bed jostled when Callie moved. Or maybe that was the distance. She felt cold now and she just wanted her girls surrounding her again. She didn't feel whole anymore, her child ripped away from her, from them, and she just wanted to hold onto the parts of her family that she could. She met Callie's eyes as she rounded the bed. Her pain was mirrored there and she sighed. “Let's do this,” she prompted Addison with a nod, voice thick. “And I don't think I've said thank you yet.”

“Arizona, please...”

Callie drew Sofia away from the bed with one hand on her daughter's shoulder, not wanting her to hear too much of the other pair's conversation. And maybe she just needed a few minutes with her little girl. “What did you do at preschool today?”

Sofia climbed into her lap to regale her with the story of her playtime with Derek and Meredith's daughter Zola, and their game of tag with Bailey's son Tuck, and Callie could feel Arizona's eyes on them. They'd lost something, something big and important, but they still had their little girl, and she and Sofia got to keep Arizona.

“And what do you think we should get Uncle T to bring us for dinner?” Callie asked after Sofia's story, her head leaning against her daughter's head to get a better view of Sofia's animated hand reenactments.

It took a moment of serious consideration before Sofia answered, her brow puckered thoughtfully. “Chicken fingers,” she decided. “Or pizza. Or spaghetti.” She leaned back against Callie's chest to look up at her upside down. “We should let Mama pick since she doesn't feel good,” she said, finding her mother's hand with both of her smaller ones and squeezing her thumb.

“Spaghetti!” Arizona chimed in, interrupting Addison's explanation. She just couldn't help listening, watching Sofia be so _alive_ even as she sat still in Callie's lap.

The two in the chair sent her smiles from across the room, Callie's free hand combing through soft dark hair. “That's sweet,” Callie told her with a loving smile. “You're a sweet girl, Sof.”

“Spaghetti!” cheered Sofia, leaning over the side of the seat suddenly to snag her mother's cell phone from the pocket of her lab coat. She easily navigated to her uncle's number and swiped the screen, holding it up her ear, giving Callie a chance to tune back in to the conversation Arizona and Addison were having.

“We'll need to keep a closer eye on it in the future, but unless we spot anything suspicious on the new scans I don't think you'll need chemo.” Callie let out a relieved breath and Arizona looked her way again, eyes meeting. Addison was quiet, letting the moment extend.

Sofia unintentionally broke it when she hit the speakerphone button accidentally, Tim's voice suddenly filling the room. Callie grabbed the phone to turn the volume down, left high after her morning workout, a stress fueled jog around the block before breakfast. “Sorry,” mumbled Sofia.

“What's up?” Tim asked, Arizona smiling at the sound of his confusion.

“You're on speaker,” she answered him.

There was a moment of quiet as he tried to figure out what to say first. “I – Arizona, I love you. And I'm so sorry this happened to you.”

Blue eyes found Callie's, Arizona's throat moving as she swallowed hard. “I love you too, Tim,” she echoed hoarsely.

“But don't be sorry, Uncle T. My mama's all better now. No more tumor,” Sofia said, beaming at her parents innocently. It brought another quiet moment. They needed to tell her what else had happened, but not now.

Tim's throat cleared and he sounded choked, “I'm glad your mom's better, kiddo. And I hear I'm supposed to get our patient spaghetti tonight?”

“Yes, please,” Arizona confirmed, struggling to make her voice sound normal. “And thank you.”

“Anything you need,” he promised. “I'll see you soon, okay?” She agreed and he cleared his throat again. “Cal, you good with spaghetti too?”

The Ortho surgeon smiled weakly at the phone in her hand. “I'll just eat whatever Arizona doesn't finish.” She was nowhere near hungry. And even if (and when) she insisted, Arizona would only pick at her food, she was sure.

“You're both getting the biggest plates of spaghetti you've ever seen,” he denied her. “And I'm going to make the sauce the way Mom does, so you're not even going to be able to resist it.”

“Grandma?” Sofia questioned, looking around as though her grandmother might enter at any moment.

That brought up something Arizona hadn't thought about yet. She'd asked Callie and Tim not to call their parents until she was in surgery, but she didn't know the outcome of that call yet. She wouldn't be surprised if her mother was getting on a plane right now. Knowing what her partner was thinking, Callie spoke up, “Grandma will be here tomorrow, sweetie.” She addressed the statement to Sofia, but her eyes were on her wife. “She wants to check on Mama after her surgery.” And Barbara would want to help her daughter through the loss of her pregnancy, once they told her what other result the surgery had wrought on them.

Arizona nodded her understanding, throat thick again, her chest feeling tight. “Addie, I'm tired. Can we do the rest later?”

It was a blanket dismissal, Tim hanging up the phone even as Addison excused herself with a nod to Callie in her seat, leaving the three of them alone again. Sofia was promptly out of Callie's lap and back in the bed with Arizona, snuggling in. Callie took her time crossing the room, leaning over the bed to brush blonde hair back as Arizona settled deeper into the mattress.

“I'm sorry, Calliope.”

The whisper caught her off guard, Callie's eyes opening wide. “Wh-you don't ever say that to me,” declared Callie hoarsely. She didn't know what she was feeling, how she was supposed to feel beyond the grief, but she still felt all mixed up about her relief that she hadn't lost Arizona.

“Talk to me,” the blonde pleaded, her voice low.

Callie's eyes fell to the top of Sofia's head. “Later. Alone.”

Combing her fingers through her daughter's hair, Arizona sighed. Callie was right, they couldn't talk about losing the baby in front of Sofia, but she still needed to talk to her wife about it all. “My mom's coming,” she commented under her breath. “When are we ever going to be alone?” Her tone was teasing lightly, or as teasing as she could manage at the moment.

Callie smiled, leaning in further to kiss just above her eyebrows. “We had to tell them, sweetheart. Your mom was worried before we even said the word tumor. She loves you.”

“I know,” Arizona sighed. “But you'll be gone tonight and I don't know when we're going to get to talk.”

A frown furrowed the brunette's eyebrows and Callie took a seat on the edge of the bed. “Wait, what? Where do you think I'm going to be tonight?” She had no intention of leaving her wife's side and was completely blanking on why Arizona might think otherwise. “I'm not going anywhere.”

“You have to take Sofia home,” Arizona reminded her, anticipating her argument and continuing quickly, “She can't stay here, and it's not good for her routine if we just dump her with Tim and Teddy.”

“She doesn't want to leave you,” argued Callie weakly. It was less pathetic making the statement on behalf of a little girl. She didn't want to leave either and she was a grown woman.

Arizona smiled knowingly. “I know, Calliope, but she's three and we're her parents. You'll bring her back in the morning,” she directed. That wasn't for Callie or Sofia's edification but for her own – she needed to see her girls first thing in the morning. “But I'm afraid for tonight you both need to be home.”

Callie frowned, not arguing but displeased. “Fine, but I'm telling you now that I don't want to hear any crap when I come in looking all rough because I don't get any sleep tonight,” she groused. She never slept well on nights her wife wasn't home. Their bed was just too cold and empty when it was just her. Arizona just shook her head, her smile loving and soft. “So when I come back in the morning in today's eyeliner, you can't tell me that you think one of your nurses is cute, because I won't be responsible for my actions.” Knowing she was being teased, Arizona mustered a laugh. “Maybe I'll just make sure Bailey only puts guy nurses up here tonight,” Callie mused, though she was smiling herself.

“I don't think Bailey's in charge of the nurses,” Arizona chimed in, playing along. But seriously, even if it wasn't her job, Bailey could make that happen if Callie asked for it to happen. “But you already know that you have nothing to worry about, hon.” She blinked, fighting back a tired yawn. “Will you get back in? Hold me until you need to leave?”

That was never a question that needed to be asked, Callie climbing back into the bed and wrapping her arms around her family.


	8. Chapter 8

The sound of footsteps on the hall rug woke Callie from her light, fitful sleep, her hand reaching automatically toward the empty side of the bed. Oh yeah. Arizona was still in the hospital. Their bedroom door nudged open and she sat up as Sofia shuffled in, her favorite stuffed giraffe hugged in her arm while the other hand tousled her mussed hair. “Mami, I had a bad dream.”

Callie flipped the covers back without a word and her daughter dashed across the room to dive into the space. “Want to tell me what happened in the dream, sweet pea?” whispered Callie, snuggling Sofia closer and tucking the sheets around her. She'd dozed off in the hospital bed with them earlier, woken up when Tim and Teddy had arrived with dinner, but she'd crashed again almost as soon as they'd left the hospital to come home, sleepily insisting that Callie carry her in from the car.

Sofia just whimpered, her face burrowing into her mother's shoulder. “Mama.”

“Mama's okay, honey,” Callie promised her, kissing her forehead after smoothing back dark curls.

“She's not home yet. I want Mama.”

“Sofia, look at me,” prompted Callie, meeting brown eyes with her own. “Your Mama is going to be just fine. I promise. They need to keep her at the hospital for a while, but she's going to be okay. She'll be home with us soon. And we're going to see her right after breakfast in the morning, okay?” She kissed her daughter's face again. “Want to sleep in here with me tonight, though?”

Sofia nodded, hugging her stuffed animal between them. “Stretch too?”

A smile tugged at the corners of Callie's mouth. “Yes, of course Stretch too, sweetheart. Sweet dreams, mi amor.”

“Night, Mami. I love you.” A soft sigh brushed across her neck as Sofia settled against her and Callie squeezed her eyes closed. There was nothing in the world like the absolute faith Sofia had in her, in Arizona. It was incredible, moving and powerful. And the way she felt for Sofia eclipsed everything else she'd ever felt.

“I love you too, angel. Go to sleep and I'll be here.”

“No more bad dreams,” Sofia mumbled, her eyes already closed and her little body going limp as she succumbed to sleep, her mother rubbing her back gently.

Callie took a shaky breath. She needed to see Arizona right _now_. Fumbling on the nightstand, she found her phone and swiped a series of buttons.

“Mmh, what?” The call had apparently woken her sleepy wife, and Callie smiled to herself. “Calliope?” Becoming more aware, Arizona clicked on the lamp at her bedside. “What's wrong? What's-?”

“No, no, nothing's wrong,” Callie said, whispering to avoid waking Sofia. Though once she was out, their little girl slept like the dead. She was the same way and Arizona loved that they had it in common. “I just needed to see you.”

Arizona blinked, still tired and confused as she turned her phone over. “Are you in bed? Turn the light on,” she requested. Callie's side of the video connection was just blackness.

“I can't,” Callie answered, free hand stroking through Sofia's soft curls.

“Are you alone?” Arizona asked, frowning. She was still mostly asleep and the sudden call from home was struggling to break through her cloudy mind. “Where's Sofia?” She didn't care that she was not even a day post-op. If there was something wrong with her daughter, she was leaving the hospital and going to her family.

“Sofia's in here,” said Callie with a smile.

Arizona's frown deepened. “Is she okay? Is she awake? It's the middle of the night.”

“She's sacked out now,” Callie told her. “She had a bad dream though, so she and Stretch are spending the night in the big bed with me.”

Arizona pouted but relaxed. “I'm insanely jealous. I want to be in the big bed with you. What was Sof's dream about?”

“She didn't say specifically, just that it was about you.”

The expression on Arizona's face went sad. “My poor baby. You told her I'm okay, didn't you?”

“I've got her,” Callie promised. “Mami's here to keep the bad dreams away.”

Arizona made an effort to settle into her own bed. “You're good at that. And Sofia's okay?”

“Yes, sweetheart. I promise.”

The blonde sighed. “I trust you with her, more than anyone, you know that,” Arizona explained. “It's just killing me not to be with you guys, you know?”

“Yeah,” Callie echoed her heavy sigh. “I know the feeling.” She'd been living under that feeling for the last few days, ever since they'd found out that there was a tumor inside her wife. She knew better than anything that not being with Arizona would kill her.

There was a loaded silence. “Okay, what does _that_ mean?”

“You know what I mean. I wish you were here,” Callie hedged. That was the simple explanation for what she'd said, what she meant. “I miss you.”

“I miss you too, but I don't think that's what you meant, Calliope. Talk to me,” Arizona requested, managing to make her tone stern even through the sleep in her voice.

It took Callie a second to start, putting speech to the fear that had haunted her more difficult than she thought it would be. “I can't _not_ be with you,” she said, pausing awkwardly. “Like, not creepy co-dependence or anything like that, but I -” another long pause while she tried to gather her thoughts, force them into words that made sense, “I can't live – I don't want to live without you, Arizona. And all week, ever since I got paged to that room and saw that tumor on the ultrasound, I have been imaging what my life, our lives, would be like without you, if something happened to you.” She felt sick even saying it. Arizona's beautiful face was locked in a frown but she didn't say anything. “And, God, I don't know if I can say it...”

“You can tell me anything,” Arizona reminded her, soft. Her eyes were taking in her wife's face. “I'm right here.”

“I need you to be here!” Without thought one hand slapped the bed beside her but Sofia didn't wake up, thankfully.

“Calliope, I'm not going anywhere, I promise.” Arizona's voice was quiet and calm and it grounded her, Callie taking a shaky breath.

“It feels like I traded the baby for you, to keep you here,” Callie whispered, closing her eyes so she didn't have to see the devastation her statement would wreak on her partner's face. “If we'd waited...”

“Look at me,” Arizona ordered, interrupting her. And Callie could already hear the tears that she knew without looking were streaming down her face. “Calliope Torres, you look at me right now!”

The darkness on her side of the screen made her sure that Arizona couldn't now whether she was looking or not, but either way, the blonde didn't speak again until she'd forced her eyes open again and locked them on the screen of her phone.

“We could not have waited, do you understand me? The tumor would have kept growing, I would have gotten worse, and the baby would have gotten hurt too.” Arizona's face felt hot and she breathed deep. Part of her couldn't believe they were having this conversation over the phone. She ached to have Callie's arms around her. But now that it was out there she couldn't just put a pin in it until they were face to face again. “It was over when we decided to fight this,” Arizona said sadly, making Callie's breath hitch, tears starting in earnest. “Addie gave us our best shot to keep the baby, but it just – we lost him...” And her heart was broken, the way she knew Callie's was too.

She sobbed out fresh grief until her chest ached, the solitude of her room oppressing and cold. The phone had slipped from her hand unnoticed, she couldn't see Callie's face anyway. And Callie was the only thing that would make anything better. Her chest was aching by the time the door opened and she tried to stifle herself, unable to see who had entered through her tears. “I-I'm okay. I'm sorry...”

Then whoever it was moved closer, leaning in to deposit something in the bed with her, making her jump. Familiar hands caught her arms though. “Hey, hey, it's me,” Callie said. “It's me, I'm here.”

“Calliope...”

Leaving Sofia sleeping in front of her, Callie rounded the bed to slide in behind her, wrapping her up securely in her arms. “I can't stand hearing you cry. I couldn't just lay there and listen,” she explained, whispering the words into her ear, Arizona's breathing ragged and hoarse. “I'm here now.” She'd heard Arizona crying through the phone, whimpering her name when she could catch enough breath to say it, and she hadn't been able to stop herself from shoving her feet into shoes, wrapping a still sleeping Sofia up in a blanket, and driving to the hospital to hold her wife.

Seeming to sense her mother's presence, Sofia let out a sigh and squirmed one arm out of her blanket to reach for Arizona, her hand finding the blonde's hospital gown and tucking a fold of the fabric under her chin while she slept on.

Arizona leaned gratefully into the touch, Callie still securely against her back. It was the warmest she'd felt in hours. “I want to go home,” she sighed, stroking one hand up and down Sofia's shoulder.

“We'll get you out of here soon,” promised Callie, kissing her shoulder through her gown. She could feel Arizona's trembling lessening, her sobs becoming quiet sniffles.

“Thank you for coming, Calliope,” Arizona whispered, letting her eyes close. “I would have been miserable in here alone.” The quiet extended, Callie just breathing slowly. “Thank you for talking to me too, telling me what was bothering you.” Callie's breathing hitched. “It wasn't a choice you made, Calliope. It was something that happened to us, not something we chose to have happen.” One hand found Callie's, Arizona turning her face into the arm under her head, kissing the inside of her wife's elbow. “And it's something I hate, so I need you to keep holding me.”

That was easy, Callie wasn't going anywhere. “Think you can sleep now?” she checked, dropping a kiss behind her wife's ear.

In Callie's arms was the only way she would be able to sleep. And that's exactly what she did until several things happened almost simultaneously the next morning – Sofia waking up only seconds before Addison entered the room.

Arizona's first waking moment was spent with her daughter squeezing her tight. There were very few better ways to wake up in her opinion, even with the physical ache it sent through her middle. Feeling her move away slightly, Callie's arms tugged her back into herself, the brunette still asleep. “Mama, you're here!”

“Here I am, sweetie,” Arizona agreed, smiling and kissing dark curls.

“Yes, there are people in here,” Addison agreed dryly, though she was hiding a smile behind Arizona's chart. “There weren't people here last night.”

Waking up, Callie hugged the two of them closer. “Well, I'm a doctor here, and we're family, so...”

“So you feel okay about sneaking into my patient's room to spend the night?” Addison asked, teasing.

“Absolutely,” Callie said without opening her eyes. And the simple fact remained that she couldn't have just left Arizona alone last night. “Good morning, Addison.”

“Good morning, Callie. Arizona, how are you feeling this morning?”

Arizona was in the middle of the dog pile of her family, Sofia crawling over her to kiss Callie's cheek and then leaving herself sprawled across both of her parents. “As good as can be,” she answered even as she winced when Sofia's knee bumped her ribs. One hand ran down her little girl's back. “Can I go home?”

Sighing, the surgeon sent her friend a look. “We'll see. I want to check a few things before we discharge you.” Her lips pursed. “Unfortunately that means your guests will have to get off the bed. Maybe you could go get your mama some breakfast?” Addison suggested before Sofia could start pouting.

It perked her up right away, the junior Robbins-Torres scrambling the rest of the way across Arizona and rolling to her feet off the other side of the bed. “Can we have pancakes? Can we, can we?” she asked, already tugging on Callie's hand. “Mama wants pancakes too!”

The adults laughed, Arizona turning her head to look at Callie, her wife still waking up beside her. “Pancakes actually do sound good,” she mused.

The other woman stretched, one hand sliding lightly back and forth across her wife's middle. “My girls want pancakes, my girls get pancakes,” she declared easily.

Arizona sent a wink at Addison and mustered a halfhearted smile. “See how well trained I've got her?”

It earned her a pinch to the side, Callie leaning over to kiss her forehead, her cheeks, and finally her lips. “You're hospitalized. I'm not whipped.” She would do absolutely anything for her wife but that didn't mean she was whipped. She took another quick kiss before sitting up and rolling out of bed. Callie glanced sheepishly down at her pajamas and across the room at Addison. It hadn't mattered to her last night in her rush to get to Arizona, but now it was a bit embarrassing. “I'll just swing by the locker room and we'll go get your pancakes.”

“Thank you,” said Arizona with a smile, triggering the remote to sit up her bed. “Sofia, you gonna go with Mami?”

She nodded, not caring about her own pajamas. “Want extra syrup, Mama?”

“You know I do, sweetness,” Arizona told her with a smile. “Thank you.” Callie escorted her out with a hand on her daughter's head, giving Arizona a smile over her shoulder as she pulled the door closed behind her. The sudden silence after their departure was stifling, oppressive and cold. Arizona physically shook off the sensation, clearing her throat. “So? Let's get this done.”

Addison sighed, pulling a stool up next to Arizona's bed. “I want to do an ultrasound so we have to wait on the machine. How are you doing? While we wait...”

“We lost our baby, Addison. And I'm going to live, so I'm grateful to you, really, I am, but I was going to have another baby with the woman I love and now I'm not.” She shook her head, not looking at Addison but letting her gaze jump around the room. “So I'm doing as well as I can, Addie.” Her old friend’s hand squeezed her knee through the blankets and Arizona looked at her. “I don't blame you. You didn't kill my baby, you saved my life.”

“Arizona...” Addison started to speak, her eyes soft and sympathetic.

“That's how I have to see it, Addie.” Arizona's voice was shaky. She blinked back tears. “That's – that's all I've got right now, okay?” Her friend stood up from her seat but didn't say anything, leaning forward to hug Arizona's shoulders gently.

The arrival of the ultrasound broke the quiet, the intern bumping the cart into the door as he pushed it inside. More than familiar with the procedure, Arizona pulled her shirt up and spread the cool gel on herself. This would have been good practice for an intern but Addison wanted to handle every bit of her friend's care herself and he stood aside quietly to watch.

Settling the wand in position, Addison checked the tumor's previous position first, pleased to see that the bleeding had tapered to a stop. Arizona would still need to spend a few days at home but didn't need to stay further in the hospital, “Even though it seems like you and Callie can’t spend the night apart even _once_ ,” she tacked on, lightly teasing her friend.

The blonde smiled, couldn't help herself, though the expression was weak. “Hey, if you were sleeping with her, you wouldn't want to spend the night apart either.” Joking about it was simpler right now than thinking about the devastation they still had gone through the night before, the grief they had still to get through.

Addison winked at her, both of them ignoring the intern's new look of lustful awe. He must be brand new if he didn’t know about the hospital's resident married lesbians. “How's she doing?” Addie asked, her expression going soft again.

“She feels guilty, like she picked saving me over keeping the baby,” Arizona confessed, sighing. “We're talking, though.”

Addison nodded, tucking red hair behind her ear when it escaped her clip. “I could talk to her. If you want,” she offered. “There was nothing that could have helped the baby.”

Arizona winced at the blunt statement, her head shaking from side to side. “I'll take care of her,” she promised.

“And she'll do the same,” Addison said wisely. “And you'll both _call me_ if you, either of you, need anything,” she instructed pointedly.

Pouting, Arizona sighed. “That sounds like you're leaving soon. You could stay for a few days, you know.”

“You two don't need me for this part,” Addison reminded her. “If you didn't have Callie I would stay, you know that. But you have her to hold your hand. And you know she's better at it than me.”

“Some other people could be happy if you stayed,” Arizona countered. Almost as if she'd summoned him, Alex Karev opened the door, poking his head inside. “You're not interrupting,” said Arizona, waving him in. “You here to check on me?”

“And deliver a message. Callie got caught with a consult for Sloan but she told me to tell you the pancakes will be hot when she gets back.” He shrugged as though there was some hidden meaning in that statement that he wasn't in on and didn't particularly care to be in on. “How you doing, boss?” he asked, moving forward into the room. Unconsciously one hand found a resting place on the back of Addison's chair as he leaned over to look at the monitor.

“The bleeding has stopped, so hopefully I can go home, right, Addie?” Arizona answered him with her own question. “Today?” She didn't miss the placement of Alex's hand and sent a pointed look at Addison, who just as pointedly ignored her.

“Maybe today,” the Neonatal surgeon hedged, her jaw tight. “Might be tomorrow.”

“Which means you'd stay, right?” Addison started to withdraw the ultrasound wand but Arizona caught her hand, the smile on her face fading. “Wait.” Knowing what her friend needed, Addison let her hand fall away after a considering look. Arizona easily found the spot where her baby had been, her throat moving when she swallowed hard.

“Sweetheart,” Addison started, glancing up at Alex when Arizona wouldn't look at them.

“It doesn't look like there's much scarring,” Arizona noted, her voice low, detached.

“That'll go away. It's just inflamed. You can still have kids,” said Addison, blinking when it drew blue eyes to her. “If you want to.” Another glance exchanged with Alex. There was no telling if Arizona would ever want to put herself through another pregnancy, but the option was there if they wanted it.

When the woman in the bed didn't speak, Alex cleared his throat. “Chunky Stew is getting his first solid meal today for lunch,” he said, drawing a confused look from Addison. “He's a patient,” he explained briefly.

“And you know I don't like that nickname,” Arizona chimed in, clear note of warning in her tone.

“So you don't want a slice of his Hawaiian pizza?” he challenged, shooting a smirk at her.

Arizona rolled her eyes just as her room's door opened to admit Callie and Sofia, the elder's hands full of bags. Sofia was holding the door for her and dropped it on her mother as soon as she spotted her Uncle Alex. “Unk!” she cried, rushing to hug his leg. Addison stood up to help Callie fend off the heavy hospital room door.

“Thank you for holding the door, sweetie,” Callie commented sarcastically and gave Addison a grateful smile. “You've earned your short stack,” she declared, handing off one of the plastic bags with a prompting nod. The other bag she deposited in Arizona's lap. “And for you, beautiful. With extra syrup. I didn't want to be gone long enough to go home and make them, so I picked them up from IHOP up the block, but I'll make you homemade ones as soon as you're home.”

“Is there one in here for you?” Arizona asked, cocking an eyebrow as she looked into the bag. The first container had smiley face pancakes with strawberries and bananas that made it plainly Sofia's and Arizona set it aside by her hip. There was only one more and she shot a look at her wife. “We're sharing, then,” she said. “Sit.”

It was Alex's cue to excuse himself, tousling Sofia's hair. “Good to see you, kiddo, but I don't want to watch the moms feed each other so I'll catch you later, bud.” They slapped hands, bumped fists, and blew it up in a familiar ritual. His smile was fond when he shot a look at the couple on the bed. “Later, Robbins, Torres.” He paused, eyes flicking to Addison. “Montgomery...”

“Bye, Uncle A,” Sofia said, clambering up onto the foot of her mother's bed and grabbing her breakfast.

Addison hesitated on leaving but Arizona waved her friend away. “Get out while you can,” she advised. “We're going to be adorable and it's pretty disgusting.” From her seat Sofia nodded solemnly, eyes wide. Arizona poked her firmly with her toes.

“Go enjoy the pancakes,” Callie added, a smirk curling her lips. “Maybe catch up and share them with Alex,” suggested the brunette with a laugh.

That started a bright blush across the redhead's face and sent her fleeing the room with her bag of breakfast. “You two come off as these nice, sweet women, but you're both just _mean_ ,” she declared from the doorway, smiling in embarrassment. “I love you, though. I'll see you later. And thanks for breakfast.”

Laughing to herself, Arizona tugged on Callie's wrist until her wife took a seat on the edge of her bed. “I think if I throw out some cute eyes when she comes back, I can get discharged later today,” she informed her, opening the box of their breakfast. “Sof, baby, use the table, alright? Don't spill the syrup.”

Callie snagged the table for her, heart jumping at the dazzling grin she got as a thank you, and turned to her wife. “Yeah? Then do it and I swear I won't get jealous if it gets you home sooner.”

“Hey, if I thought it would help I'd kiss her again,” said Arizona as she drizzled her own syrup over her pancakes. The realization of what she'd said didn't sink in even when Callie's hand swatted the sheet at her knee. “What?” she asked obliviously.

“Excuse me?” asked Callie pointedly, one eyebrow arched. “I said you could use some cute eyes – you _kissed_ her?!”

“What?! No! That's not – we were twenty-five! And wasted! Nothing happened!” Arizona said in a hurry, grabbing Callie's hand off her leg with both hands and letting her breakfast tip precariously on her thigh, the syrup pooling dangerously in the corner of the box. “I would _never_...”

“You never told me you kissed Addison,” Callie reminded her, though her wife's panicky, flustered denial was pretty cute. And she did know that Arizona would never betray her so it went without saying that it had happened some time in their history.

“Because it's not even anything. It was once! And it meant less than nothing, Calliope.” And if they wanted to match kiss for kiss, Callie had once kissed Tim. But she couldn't bring that up because thinking about it kind of made her want to slug her brother.

Mouth full of her own breakfast, Sofia chimed in, “Ooh, Mama's in trouble.” She knew what those tones in her parents' voices meant.

It broke the remaining tension, Callie and Arizona both smiling sheepishly at each other. “No, no one's in trouble,” Callie said, sitting down on the edge of the bed facing her wife. She winked at the blushing blonde. “It's good we can still surprise each other, right?”

“And I like that you can still get a little jealous,” Arizona teased, her nose wrinkling as she smiled wider.

Callie scoffed, one hand reaching across to straighten the box of food out. “I'm only jealous if you tell me she's a better kisser than me.”

Poking up the first bite onto her fork Arizona held it up for her to take, one hand cupped under it to keep syrup from dripping onto the blankets. “Don't be ridiculous,” she denied easily. “I wasn't even a good kisser back then. And drunk? Forget about it. You're getting the A-game.”

Callie laughed around her mouthful, the hand on Arizona's leg stroking where she'd previously swatted. “I better be.” Leaning forward, she kissed beside her mouth. Reflexively touching Callie's face smeared a drip of syrup on her jaw.

“Oh, oops, sorry,” Arizona said, wiping it with her thumb. “Let me.” She ducked her face and slowly sucked the sweetness from her skin. In turn, Callie turned her face into her wife's hand and dragged her lips over the tip of her thumb.

“Moms, get a room,” Sofa sighed from the other side of the bed, Arizona's jaw dropping while Callie whipped her head around to look at their daughter in disbelief. “I heard Uncle Tim say it,” the little girl said with a shrug, resuming her pancakes and kicking her feet. “What's it mean?”

Caught off guard, Arizona started laughing helplessly, covering her mouth with both hands. Callie, left to answer, took a second to think. “Um, it's just – it means – like when we're... affectionate with each other, some people don't like to watch that...”

“Like Uncle Alex,” Sofia suggested wisely, nodding. Her pancake was missing a banana slice eye already and she thoughtfully poked up a strawberry from the smile for her next bite.

“Yes, like Uncle Alex. So they say get a room so they don't have to see it.”

Chewing on her strawberry, Sofia was quiet. “Well, he's silly,” she declared finally. “I like it.”

“You do?” Arizona got her giggles under control enough to ask, Callie swinging her eyes between mother and daughter. Arizona was emotional now and she could hear it in her voice. She silently reached up and laced her fingers through her wife's, getting a squeeze in answer.

“Yeah,” Sofia said simply. “My mommies love each other.” And the way they were with each other was just the way it was. It had simply never occurred to her to question it. It seemed silly to her that anyone would. “Want a berry, Mama?” she asked, changing the subject easily.

Meeting Callie's eyes, Arizona swallowed down overwhelming emotion. Everything they'd been through this week and her daughter had her heart bursting with love. “I would _love_ a strawberry, Sof.”


	9. Chapter 9

“You ready to go, sweetie?” It was an insane question, Arizona already out of bed and dressed, her bag packed and ready by her feet.

Turning, she spotted the wheelchair her wife was waiting with in the doorway. “Um, no, I'm not riding in that thing.”

“It's hospital policy,” Callie countered, unable to resist rolling her eyes at her partner's stubbornness.

“I'm a doctor here! I'm a department head, Calliope!” argued Arizona. “I'm not getting pushed around the hospital like a-”

“Patient?” Callie finished the statement for her. “But you are a patient.” She hated it but it was true. “We can do wheelies if you want.” It won her a sharp look from the other woman. “Arizona...”

The blonde head tuned from side to side. “Not happening. I am perfectly capable of walking out of here and that's what I'm doing.” She could hear Callie muttering something about 'damn stubborn women' under her breath and she reminded her, “You married me.”

“And I would do it again every day,” Callie sent back without missing a beat.

Arizona growled in frustration abruptly, throwing her head back. “You just – that is _not_ fair, Calliope!” she declared even as she stomped across the room and flopped into her seat.

Leaning in, Callie kissed her neck in gratitude. “Just on this floor. We'll ditch it in the elevator, okay?”

“I knew I loved you for a reason.” sighed Arizona gratefully as Callie went to collect her bag.

“And I was pretty sure it was for my ass,” the Latina teased her.

“Oh, I'm not that superficial,” Arizona said, smirking tiredly over her shoulder at her partner. “Some of it is about your brain. And your boobs.” Arms hugged the top of her chest and she laughed helplessly as lips assaulted her neck. 

A groan drew Callie away after a minute of breathless laughter. “Honey, what?”

“It, sorry, I guess I'm still kind of sore,” gasped Arizona, one hand resting lightly low on her stomach.

“We can keep the chair,” Callie suggested after a second, not surprised by her wife's negative head shake. Or Arizona could stay in the hospital for another day. The reaction to that suggestion she already knew would be a negative. “I could carry you, but that might be more of a bruise on your department head ego,” she added, smirking over Arizona's head.

“That would be hot,” the blonde denied. “But only at home and when we're going to bed. And speaking of home, let's get this show on the road.”

Callie kept her duffel bag in one hand instead of dropping it in Arizona's lap, and pushed the chair toward the elevator where Arizona stood up as soon as the door closed. She was moving slowly though, clearly ginger. “Will you at least put an arm around me or something?” Callie requested, watching Arizona grip the railing in front of her tightly. “I want a shot at catching your stubborn ass.”

“You just want to cop a feel.” She did slip an arm around her wife's waist though, looping her fingers through her belt.

“You caught me,” said Callie dryly as the elevator slowed to a stop. “You're really feeling okay? Because we can survive another day -”

“I am, and I can't,” Arizona cut in. “I'm not bleeding, I've got minimal pain, and I cannot be in this hospital for another day.” The doors opened and she started moving, pulling Callie along. No matter how fine she claimed to feel Arizona was still moving slower than normal, her steps shorter. Callie knew she wouldn't say anything hurt if it meant she didn't get to go home.

Arizona did accept help into the passenger seat of their Jeep, Callie keeping a hand on her lower back but not saying anything when the blonde winced and hissed before settling into her seat. “And that's why you can't drive home,” Callie reminded her, ignoring the blue glare she got in response.

Sofia was in the front yard when they pulled up, tossing a Nerf football with Tim, and she abandoned their game to pull Arizona's door open. “Mama, you're home!” She scrambled ably into the car and threw both arms around her mother's neck, settling into her lap. Arizona had to hold her breath to keep from groaning at the dull pain that ached inside her. “Mami's been making dinner the last two days, but today Aunt Teddy's doing it, and we moved the furniture and I helped! The mover guys were really tall, like Uncle Tim tall, but I bet they don't have a cool robot leg like him.” Arizona had only been gone for a few days but it felt like much longer to the little girl so she rattled off the highlights of everything that had been happening at home since she'd left.

Catching the gist of Sofia's chatter Arizona spoke up, “What? Sweetheart, what movers are you talking about?” A look at Callie told her that she had no clue. “Timothy Michael Robbins, what has been going on around here?!” Arizona called, raising her voice and making Sofia sit up straighter on her lap.

“Chill out,” he said, leaning against the front fender of the car, the open door safely between them. “Good impersonation of Dad.” Arizona just shot a look at him. “Okay, well you two are always complaining about that stupid couch, so I got it replaced.”

“You did what?” Arizona asked, confused. It was a surprisingly thoughtful thing to do, but still...

Tim shrugged, fidgeting with the squishy football. “Cal said you're still all sore and stuff, so if you don't want to climb the stairs, we figured you'd need a better couch downstairs.”

“We picked the best one, Mama,” Sofia promised, nodding her head. “We sat on all the ones in the store.”

“And how did this get paid for?” asked Callie, rounding the car behind Tim but going around the door to Arizona's side.

He just grinned. “Remember when you gave me your credit card to pay for a pizza for the munchkin? That bill's going to be a bit bigger than you're expecting.”

Callie rolled her eyes. “Just tell me you bought it from a store with a return policy and not some guy's basement. Sof, hop down so Mama can get out.” And she'd seen her wife's grimace of pain when Sofia had clambered into her lap, even if Arizona thought she'd missed it. Like leaving the hospital to go home, Arizona would never complain of pain if it meant she didn't get to hold her daughter.

Tim over dramatized his offense and Sofia jumped down to run across the grass for a pass. “I'm hurt, Cal.”

Scoffing, Arizona let her hand find Callie's, let herself be stabilized as she slid out of the car. “We'll just see how good you did.” Sofia dodged an imaginary tackler and Arizona laughed for her daughter's benefit. She was leaning heavily into Callie's arm, her skin pale in the diluted Seattle sunlight. “Good catch, Sof!”

A sudden ring from Tim's pocket made his grin fade and Callie frowned as she pushed the car door shut behind Arizona. “What is it?”

He hesitated, eyes catching his sister's gaze. “Mom's plane is landing. I can go pick her up, or...” Either way she'd be there in less than an hour.

Arizona unconsciously slumped into Callie's supporting arm. “Go get her,” she decided. “But don't tell her yet...”

“Where's the Colonel now?” Callie asked. Daniel Robbins had been at his Marine reunion when they'd called, camping somewhere in Montana and out of easy reach. Of course, no matter how finely honed his protective instincts, he couldn't save his daughter from this.

“Mom told him about the surgery, but he's not going to come unless you need him,” he answered, shaking his head. “He wants to hear from you later though.” One hand tousled his hair. “Teddy's inside cooking, the boys are napping up in the spare room, and just call me if you need anything while I'm out.”

“Sofia, do you want to go with Uncle T to get Grandma from the airport?” Callie called across the yard, bringing Sofia running back past her parents to scramble into her car seat, buckling herself in while Callie handed the keys over to her brother-in-law.

“Drive safe,” Arizona reminded him. He had half of her life as his passenger. “And try and keep Mom from worrying.”

Tim gave her a reassuring wink. “I'll just unleash Sofia on her.”

Neither woman could contain a laugh. “That should do it,” Callie agreed as he went to join his niece in the car. “Sof, you be good and do what Uncle Tim tells you to do, alright?”

“Si, Mami,” she answered, nodding.

Arizona was still leaning into Callie and the brunette patted the outside of her hip as their Jeep backed down the driveway. “Come on. Let's see how bad the damage is,” she prompted. Asking Arizona to come inside and rest would do her no good, the stubborn woman sure to resist anything she perceived as being for her benefit.

The couch actually looked pretty good, the color and pattern blending with the rest of their furniture, but Arizona's pleased groan when she sat down was the final approval, Callie smiling as she took her seat only for her wife to flop over onto her side and stretch her legs over her lap. “This is... much, much better,” the blonde said, clearly content with her brother's choice. “Calliope...”

Callie just pulled her wife's shoes off one at a time and dropped them to the floor, thumbs rubbing the soles of her feet without prompting. “Glad to be home?”

“I might not even get off this couch,” Arizona mumbled, her voice muffled by the couch cushion she neglected to pick her face up from.

The statement won her a light smack on the ass. “Oh, I don't think so. You're in bed with me tonight one way or another,” Callie declared. She'd carry her up the stairs herself if she had to. Arizona was home so she wasn't spending another night alone.

The blonde stretched and dragged a pillow under her head, her eyes closed. “I'm probably going to cry at some point when my mom gets here and we have to tell her,” she said, voice still obscured.

Callie squeezed her foot. “I'm not going anywhere,” she promised. “Unless you want some time with your mom, then I'll go upstairs and keep the munchkin out of your hair.”

Shaking her head against the pillow, Arizona hooked the foot Callie wasn't holding between her wife's knees. She needed to tell her mother what had happened, needed to cry out the fresh grief it would inevitably bring, but if Callie wasn't at her side she might explode from all the pain, the loss. “You're not going anywhere,” she confirmed. Soft lips kissed her ankle to seal the promise.

Neither spoke again, or moved, until they heard the car pull up in the driveway, Arizona sitting up slowly and tucking herself into Callie's side as the sounds of Sofia chattering to her grandmother grew closer. Tim opened the door for the other two and Arizona reflexively stood up to greet her mother. Barbara didn't disappoint, rounding the couch in a second. She waited for Arizona to reach for her before she hugged her though, and kept the embrace light.

“Your brother told me you're still sore. Sweetie, if you're not up for it you shouldn't be home. You don't have to push yourself,” Barbara said as she pulled back. “I know Callie would take care of you just as well at the hospital.”

“Mom, I'm just a little sore, I did need to come home. Calliope's here, and Sofia.”

Arizona got a narrow look from her mother. “And they're not both also at the hospital every day? They can visit you.”

“Mom, it's not the same. I needed to be home.” Callie's hand slid across her lower back, offering silent, strong support. Arizona's breath caught. “I need to be here.”

“Mama's home,” Sofia chimed in. “It's good,” she said, sharing her opinion. “Right?” she asked and looked at Callie.

“Of course it is,” she agreed, free arm reaching out and giving Sofia an opening to join the family huddle. One of her little hands found Arizona's and held on.

“I love you, Mama,” Sofia said softly into the quiet, her head leaning back to look up at her parents.

“I love you too, mija,” Arizona echoed, squeezing her fingers lightly. “And Mom, I'm glad to see you,” Callie's fingers slipped into her other hand and she squeezed down harder, “but we have something we need to tell you.”

Barbara's face went white, her gaze jumping around the room to confirm that, yes, everyone else knew something she didn’t. “Tim-Tim said-he said they got it all,” she stammered, tears already welling her eyes. “Oh God, my baby girl's still sick-”

“I'm not,” Arizona cut in, dropping her head to catch her mother's eyes. “They got it all.”

“Let's sit down,” Callie coaxed before anyone could say more. Arizona was leaning heavily into her and she wanted to get her safely sitting down. Deny it all she wanted, Arizona still wasn't one hundred percent. Or anywhere close to it. Tim and Teddy were already sitting across the room, the Marine perched on the arm of the chair his wife was sitting in.

Angling toward her mother, Arizona could feel Callie close behind her and one hand found a place on top of her nearer knee, Callie covering her hand comfortably. “Mom, it's not about the cancer.” Barbara's lip started to tremble but she locked it down. Like mother, like daughter. At least Arizona came by it honestly. “Before-” Callie laced their fingers and Arizona took a deep breath, trying to get herself under control. “We found the tumor because I was having an ultrasound... because I was pregnant.” She was talking quickly, trying to get it all out in one shaky breath. Arizona didn't let herself blink, knowing tears would be unavoidable if she did. “But the surgery to get the tumor, we lost the baby.”

The room was completely quiet, no one speaking. Tim and Teddy already knew, of course, but neither had seen Arizona trying to deal with it. Her pain was clear on her face, mirrored in Callie's expression. The first sound was Sofia's sneakers on the floor, the youngest Robbins-Torres moving slowly to stand in front of Arizona. She saw the tears sliding down her cheeks and her efforts to stifle them and Sofia climbed wordlessly into her mother's lap, sliding her arms around her and burrowing her head into the blonde's shoulder. “I'm sorry, Mama. Don't be sad. I promise I won't go nowhere.”

Arizona's breath came short, her lungs being squeezed inside her chest. Both arms wrapped around Sofia tightly as her tears broke free, the pain fresh and sharp and tearing her apart. Callie's tears were hot, soaking into the back of her shirt. She couldn't breathe, her heart pounding in her chest. Sofia was crying now, not understanding everything but knowing that her parents were crying was enough to set her off. And comforting her daughter was Arizona's way out, stifling her own grief, pushing it back so that she could comfort Sofia, comfort Callie.

“It's okay, Sofia,” Arizona murmured, rocking her, kissing her hair. “Don't cry, angel. I love you so much. Mami and I love you so much.” She calmed down slowly and Arizona dislodged one hand, reaching behind her for her wife's leg. “Calliope...”

“I'm okay,” gasped Callie. Arizona seemed to have forgotten or didn't care that her mother, her brother, their sister-in-law, were all sitting around the room watching them. And she loved them all but her grief was private. “Shh. We're here, Sof. We're right here.” Arizona leaned into her and Callie slipped one arm over her shoulder, stroking Sofia's hair with her fingertips while she rested her head on her wife's shoulder, Arizona leaning her head against Callie's.

A timer in the kitchen and a stifled curse from Teddy broke the moment, the heart surgeon rushing out of the room to silence the shrieking and leaving sad silence behind her. Barbara wiped her own tears and squeezed her daughter's knee, drawing blue eyes to her. “I'm so sorry,” she whispered. “Both of you, all of you, I am _so_ sorry.”

“Mom,” Tim interjected softly. There was nothing they could say to make it better, so he tried to get them a minute. “Come help me get the boys,” he requested, standing up and offering his arm to his mother. He gave Arizona a nod, his own expression stoic and sad.

Sofia was sniffling and Arizona could feel little fingers playing with the fabric of her shirt. “Sofia, do you want to talk about it?” she asked, whispering.

The tears in brown eyes, the little face still sticky with them, was enough to break her heart anew, Sofia looking up at her. “There's no more baby?” It was what she'd said she wanted but she didn't sound happy at all, seeing her parents' pain. “The baby's not in Mama's tummy anymore?”

Hearing it again made it feel like the air had been sucked from her lungs and Arizona couldn't speak. “No, sweetie,” Callie answered her. “No more tumor though. Mama's not going to be sick anymore.”

Sofia looked more hopeful at that news. “Mama? You going to feel better?”

“Yeah, baby,” Arizona gasped out, still feeling like she was choking, unable to breathe through her tears. “I will.”

“For a few days we need to take it easy for Mama, though,” Callie said, one hand rubbing lightly up and down the blonde's arm. “She's going to be tired and achy from the surgery so it's going to be up to us to keep the house clean and cook and everything. Can you be really good and help me with that?”

Dark curls bounced as Sofia nodded dutifully, little face resolved. “Yes, Mami.” Thinking to herself, she sat up to hug Arizona's neck, wiping her tears on her mother's shoulder as she did so, and kissed her cheek before sliding off of her lap, the little girl clearly on a mission.

“Where are you going?” Callie asked, stopping her.

“I'm gonna make sure Aunt Teddy's making dinner good for Mama,” she said as though it should be obvious, spinning on her heel to continue into the kitchen.

Not sure what to say, Callie returned her head to Arizona's shoulder. “You know who's amazing?”

“Our daughter,” Arizona answered knowingly, leaning back into her wife as warm arms hugged her waist from behind. Tears were drying on her face, leaving sticky, cool tracks.

“Our daughter is amazing,” agreed Callie with a sigh. “How are you, Mama?” She knew better than asking if Arizona was okay. They weren't okay. They'd get there, but for now things weren't okay.

“Don't call me that,” the woman in her arms whispered.

Callie nuzzled into her neck to keep her heart from shattering. “Only Sofia can call you that now?” she asked, not resisting the urge to hug her in tighter. “Because you are still a mother, Arizona.” She kissed below her wife's ear, able to hear her shaky breathing. “And I like calling you that. Because you are the mother of my daughter and than makes me happier than almost anything else in the entire world.”

“But I couldn't do that for you. I lost him, Calliope!”

“Shh,” Callie hushed her, the rocking resuming again. “And I'm sorry. I'm _so_ sorry. But if you think for one second that you let me down, that you have _ever_ let me down, or failed me, or been less than _awesome_ , you are dead wrong, Arizona Robbins.” She buried her face in a pale neck. “I love you. And I love Sofia. And I love being your wife. And I love our life. Nothing that could happen to us will ever change any of that,” she stated, her declarations muffled against Arizona's skin. She sealed it with a kiss, holding her closer still.

Arizona rubbed the arm around her and leaned her head against Callie's. She was married to the most amazing woman on the planet. How the hell had she gotten so lucky? “Calliope, you can't ever leave me. I don't-” One strong hand covered her mouth before she could say more.

“I will _never_ leave you, but if you don't stop saying stuff like that I _will_ have to kick your ass,” Callie stated. “So stop it, because I like your ass the way it is.”

Arizona kissed her palm and the hand lowered to the top of her chest. “Sorry. I love you.”

“That's what I like to hear,” Callie sighed. “I love you too. I'm glad you're home.” There were actually no words for the relief having Arizona back under their roof gave her.

“Me too.” Arizona breathed deeply. “I just want us to get back to normal.” The sound of one of their nephews crying felt like a fist squeezing her heart. She'd been missing the sounds of a baby in the house, looking forward to having them again. And excepting when Theo and Lucas were over, there wouldn't be any more for a long while. If she could ever contemplate being pregnant again. Of course, Callie could carry their baby again. She quickly put a stop to that line of thinking. Thinking about the possibilities for more kids right now, when they'd just lost one, she couldn't do it.

“We'll get there,” Callie promised. “However long we need, okay?” She pecked her neck. “Anything you need.”

Arizona took another deep breath, prefacing, “Right now I need... whatever Sofia's overseeing in the kitchen.”

Conversation during dinner was carried by Tim and Teddy talking about the twins for an eager Barbara. She still had three grandchildren to dote on. Arizona tried to keep up, play along, but was subdued in spite of herself. While her mother helped Callie and Sofia with bath time she refreshed the sheets in the spare room, lost in her thoughts and not noticing the water turning off, jumping in surprise when Barbara spoke from behind her, “You didn't need to do this, sweetie. I'll be going home soon.”

Arizona turned, mouth dry. “Mom, of course I did. And you don't have to go...”

“Well, not right away. I need to see my grand kids. But you don't need me here.” Barbara's expression was sad. “I'm so sorry this happened to you, and to Callie, but I can't help. It breaks my heart, but there's nothing I can do to help you.” She took a step forward, Arizona unconsciously following and moving forward herself. “You're sad, but it won't be forever. And you've got Callie, so I'm not worried.” Arizona smiled to herself, remembering what Addison had said. “And I'm sad for you, so I need your father.” Barbara smiled sadly and reached out with one arm. “I love you, Arizona. And you're so unbelievably strong.”

“I don't feel strong,” the blonde confessed, moving in quickly to hug her mother.

“I know you don't, but you are,” Barbara told her gently, stroking her hair. “And you'll feel it again some day. Until then, you and Callie lean on each other. You'll get through this,” she said, supremely confident. “And if you need anything from us, you know we'll come.”

Arizona sighed, giving herself a minute to just hug her mother. It was different from the comfort she got from Callie, but she wanted it right now. Just a minute to feel like a daughter again, rather than the grief stricken wife and mother she was. “I love you, Mom.”

Then the minute passed and she wasn't sure how to be strong again, alone. But she wasn't alone, Callie waiting in the doorway as she lifted her head.


	10. Chapter 10

Callie insisted that a week wasn't a long enough recovery time, but it felt like six days too long to Arizona (maybe just three days too long if she was being honest with herself), and she stubbornly took her seat behind the wheel to drive them to work seven days after her surgery. Thankfully her staff didn't make a big deal out of her return, Alex handing over a chart without a second glance as she joined him at the nurses' station.

“Thank you, Karev.”

“Hey, I've got forty cases and most of these residents are idiots,” he reasoned, though he was giving her a smirking grin. “Glad you're back, boss,” he added with a wink as he took his load of charts and went on his way.

Reading over the chart for her new patient was a refreshing return to the normalcy of her life. She was still a wife, still a mother, still a surgeon. All of her silent mental reassurances went out the window when she actually met her patient though, looking up from the chart to greet Nolan Altman.

His dark curls were reminiscent of Sofia's, his skin tone buttery and warm. But it was his eyes that felt like a punch to her chest. His startling blue eyes knocked the breath from her lungs. This could have been their son – _her_ son, with _her_ wife. And the loss, the grief, just came rushing back. Of course she hadn't been expecting to put it behind her, move on, in only a week, but the fresh grief threatened to knock her off her feet.

She was Arizona Robbins, damn it. And Arizona Robbins didn't cry in front of patients and their parents. So she took a shaky breath and closed the chart. “Hello, I'm Dr. Robbins.”

“Hey, I'm Nolan,” the little boy greeted her, sticking out a hand precociously to shake. It reminded her of Sofia (and how good of a big sister would her little girl be?) but she tamped it down, shaking his hand and smiling.

“Well, I'm glad to meet you, Nolan. Why don't you tell me what hurts?”

“Here.” His hand touched his chest and trailed down his belly.

Arizona nodded, keeping her attention on him. It was one of the things that made her such an excellent kid doctor, she related to the patient more than to the parents. “Okay, well, will you let me take a look?” She lifted one hand to show him her empty fingers. He hauled his hospital gown up with both hands, moaning when she touched his stomach. “Okay, I'm sorry, buddy, but I have to to figure out what's wrong so I can fix it.” She carefully tucked his gown back down and straightened up. “Has he been complaining of pain?”

“Yes, and he said there's been blood in the toilet when he uses the restroom,” Mrs. Altman said, her hands wringing anxiously.

Arizona mustered a reassuring smile for the worried parents. “Well, I want to do an ultrasound to be sure, but it sounds like kidney stones. Painful, but not too serious.”

“Is that, you mean surgery? He needs surgery?”

“It's possible, but there are a few things we can try before it comes to that,” Arizona reassured them, the smile still locked on her lips. “And I might want to monitor him for a few days, just to make sure everything's alright, but I promise you, he's in good hands.”

While they waited for the ultrasound and the Altman parents filled out the admittance paperwork Arizona played a few games of tic-tac-toe against her patient, some masochistic voice in her brain pointing out his little personality's commonality with her own daughter's, what she'd hoped their next child would grow up into, what she'd been looking forward to seeing them become, her children together, their family together.

She made it through the ultrasound, but found herself completely unable to contemplate going back into Nolan's room afterward. She just wasn't _that_ masochistic, no matter how much she felt like she was spiraling.

Instead she found herself at the door to Nick's room, her old friend perking up noticeably as he caught sight of her. “Hey! How're you feeling? I haven't seen you in a few. Is it your first day back or what?” Nervous, his questions came quickly, stumbling over each other.

Arizona moved into his room with a shrug, her arms curled around herself. “I had a break between cases,” she said instead of answering him. “You care if I sit for a few minutes?”

Shaking his head, Nick's brow furrowed as Arizona took a seat beside his bed. She didn't speak though, wasn't even really looking at him, watching her hands fidget with the edges of her lab coat in her lap. He only let the silence linger for two minutes, clearing his throat when Arizona didn't say anything. “Okay, Phoenix, I know I haven't been around in a while, but I do know you, you know? What's wrong?”

The blue eyes that found his gaze were conflicted, upset but guarded. Arizona Robbins didn't let just anyone in. And maybe he had been one of the people she'd shared with, but that had been a long time ago. “I'm not who you knew,” she told him, her voice low and sad.

Nick shrugged his shoulders, studying her. “Maybe, maybe not. But you were awesome when I knew you, and that hasn't changed.” The statement got no response from Arizona and he sighed. “I think you might be more awesome, even.” Still no reaction but slow blinking. “The Arizona I knew was incredible, don't get me wrong, but you now – the way people here talk about you, it's like you walk on water. And the way your kid raves about you, she wants to be just like her mama. The fact that you even have a kid, Sedona!” That won him a shadow of a smile but Arizona's gaze fell to her lap again. “And she's a great kid,” he continued quickly, hoping to keep the smile growing. “She's smart and funny and knows exactly what she wants.” He grinned hopefully when Arizona laughed. “And she's as beautiful as both of her mothers,” Nick added, winking when she glanced at him. “She's a great kid,” he repeated himself.

“I know,” Arizona murmured.

Nick cleared his throat again. “I know it doesn't feel like it, because of the cancer and all, but you're lucky. _We're_ lucky.” The smile faded in an instant. “And Callie saved my life, so I'm lucky. But you're married to her, Flagstaff. Have you actually seen the way she looks at you?” he asked, Arizona's head rising again. “Because I have.” She didn't speak but Arizona's bottom lip dropped just slightly as she sucked in a breath. “You walk in a room and you're the only person she sees.” He breathed deep, smiling as she did the same. “You're a damn lucky woman, Arizona. No matter what else happened that you're not telling me. You're going to live. And you have an amazing pair of ladies to do it with.”

“Nick...” Another deep breath from Arizona. “I really missed you.”

“I missed you too.” His smile was familiar, warm. “You did alright for yourself while I was gone. You have a great family.” Arizona smiled to herself, the expression private and tinged with her own sorrow over her family's loss. “And speak of the devil,” Nick said, his eyes jumping from her to his door. “Hey Callie.”

“Hey,” she answered, surprised to see her wife. She'd expected Arizona would dive right back into a full caseload today. “Hey, you,” she greeted her partner, both hands on the seated woman's shoulders as she leaned in over the back of her chair to drop a kiss on a fair cheek. She was burning to ask how the day was going, how Arizona was feeling, if she had pushed too hard coming back today. But she kept her mouth shut. She was secretly relieved when Arizona lifted a hand to cover the one she had on the blonde's shoulder.

“Arizona was nice enough to stop by between her cases,” Nick said, giving them both a smile. “You checking up on me, doc?”

Callie nodded, releasing Arizona’s shoulder reluctantly to check on Nick's chart. He grimaced when his surgeon waved for him to sit forward so she could check his incisions. Everything was healing well (not that she had expected anything less from herself), but it was still a relief to give her patient a reassuring nod and comforting smile. “Looking good, Nick.” Arizona cleared her throat behind her and Callie rolled her eyes at the man in the bed since Arizona couldn't see it. “Not what I meant.”

Nick leaned around Callie to roll his eyes where she could see it. “Thank you, Dr. Torres.” A beep from Callie's lab coat pocket got the Ortho surgeon's attention, her back going stiff as she read the display. “What's up?” Nick asked curiously, seeing her reaction to whatever was on her screen.

“Um, I, uh, I've actually got to go, I guess...”

Arizona frowned, not used to hearing Callie stammer and stutter like that. “Hey,” she said, standing up to catch her wife's arms as she turned to face her. “Take a breath,” coaxed Arizona. “What's going on?”

“I, uh...” Suddenly so nervous that she couldn’t even tell her Callie just lifted her pager in front of Arizona's eyes.

She read it with a frown still furrowing her brows. “Is that your research lab?”

“Yeah, I think it's the FDA. The Chief said...”

Understanding suddenly why her partner was so nervous, Arizona rose on her toes to peck a kiss to full lips. “Just breathe and be awesome. That's all you have to do. Your trial is amazing. You are a genius. You're going to help so many people. They're going to see that,” Arizona whispered to her, thumbs rubbing soft circles into the tops of Callie's arms. “All you have to do is talk,” she said when brown eyes met hers. “You are great,” she promised seriously.

Callie's lip twisted, her expression almost pouty, and Arizona had to kiss her again quickly. “Can we go to lunch after?”

“Of course.” Arizona gave her an encouraging smile. “I wouldn't miss it. Now you go be great and you can tell me all about it at lunch.”

“Okay,” Callie agreed, nodding nervously. “I'll see you later.”

“Later,” confirmed Arizona, her own smile deliberately calm. “Love you.”

“Love you too.” Callie glanced over her shoulder at Nick, waving. “Bye Nick.”

Left alone with her friend again as her wife rushed out Arizona sank slowly back into her seat. “My girl's a genius,” she stated, the expression on her face almost daring him to object.

He lifted both hands in supplication and nodded. “Oh, believe me, I know.”

“I was going to have her baby,” Arizona said, her gaze dropping when Nick's eyes widened. She didn't want to see the pity come into his eyes the way it was in everyone else's when they looked at her. She hadn't been able to keep Tim's gaze in a week. It sucked. “Her little genius baby.”

“Hey,” Nick interrupted her, his voice hoarse. “Callie's awesome, but it's the two of you together making the genius babies, Robbins.” He paused, cleared his throat. “Can I say that I'm sorry?”

“Don't,” she whispered, shaking her head.

“Okay,” he agreed softly. “It sucks. _Hard_. But I'm still right, what I said earlier. You are still awesome. And Callie is nuts about you. And your daughter is going to grow up to be just like her parents and probably be president, or an astronaut, or something.” Arizona looked up from her lap and their eyes locked. “You have an incredible family, Arizona. If anyone can get through this, it's you guys.” He offered one hand, holding it out to her. Arizona pushed herself to her feet and took his hand. Nick promptly used the grip to pull her into a hug. His arms were steady and he didn't release her until she hugged him back.

Arizona was avoiding his eyes again when she stepped back, brushing both hands down her thighs. “Thanks, Nick.” She was hoarse, her emotions rampant and nearly out of her control. She had to leave this room, get alone and get herself back to normal. Or as close as she could manage today. “I'm gonna...”

“I know,” he said, understanding. “I'll be here if you need me.”

Callie was thoroughly engrossed with the gaining momentum of her clinical trial at lunch (pouring herself into her work her own coping mechanism), talking endlessly and giving Arizona a much needed distraction from her thoughts. The rest of her cases for the day only gave her a mild urge to cry, a prickling behind her eyes that was easy to push down. Nolan's test results (though not serious) made the emotion she was struggling with harder to ignore, but he was sleeping when she forced herself to go back and check on him and she went through their various options with his parents, promising to come back and look in on him in the morning.

Sofia was happy to tell them all about her day at preschool, keeping her mother's mind occupied through dinner. She was free to stew after supper though, Sofia safely in bed and a generic police show or something about firemen playing on the television. She wasn't watching it, just leaning her head against Callie's shoulder and blinking unseeing eyes at the screen.

“Hey, if you're not into this, we can watch something else...”

The quiet offer surprised Arizona but it took her a moment to respond. “Huh? What'd you say?”

Callie frowned to herself. “Are you okay? How did work go today?”

“It was fine,” Arizona answered. “And the show's fine. I'm fine,” she said, letting her mind drift again. Nolan Altman had triggered something in her brain and she couldn't seem to stop thinking about it. Not specifically about _him_ , because he was her patient, and someone else's son, but he had started her imagination going on the life they'd never get to see lived now. And she'd so wanted to welcome another life into their family.

“What's wrong?” Callie asked, drawing her back from her wistful wondering again. She could only see the top of her wife's head but she just _knew_ something was going on. Arizona wasn't _fine_ , no matter what she said. “You know you can talk to me.”

“I'm not sure I can do it anymore,” whispered Arizona without lifting her head. Her fingers unconsciously fidgeted with the hem of Callie's top and she could feel the other woman go completely still beside her.

Callie wasn't sure what that meant exactly, but she didn't let herself overreact. She let a quiet moment pass before she asked, “Do what, Arizona? What happened today?”

“Nothing really,” Arizona answered, sighing heavily. “I just – I had this patient... He could have been ours, Calliope. He looked like... _us_.”

Realizing where Arizona's reaction was coming from, Callie closed her eyes, relaxing and holding her closer. “Is he okay?”

“That's the thing – he's sick, but it's not even that serious. He's going to be fine, but I've still been... obsessing all day.”

“Because he looked like us...”

“Because he looked like I imagined our son was going to look,” Arizona clarified. “And this kid's going to be fine, but what if he wasn't? Now his face is in my head, and I'm scared I can't do my job without seeing it on all the kids I can't help.” Like she'd been unable to help their son.

It went unsaid but Callie could fill in the blanks and it broke her heart. Arizona didn't doubt herself like this. Arizona knew how awesome she was. And she would remember, in time, but for now whatever her wife needed from her she would get.

“Would you love me if I wasn't a surgeon?”

Callie sighed, pressing her lips to blonde waves. She would love Arizona Robbins under any circumstances – no matter what. And that, like her own awesomeness, was something Arizona already knew. She would remind her infinitely though. Until Arizona could remember it for herself. “I will love you every day for the rest of our lives, even if you never touch another scalpel,” she promised. “Maybe you could take some more time off? We can talk to the Chief...”

“I'm not saying I'm going to quit...” She'd worked her entire life to be a surgeon, that wasn't something to just throw away. And she saved children. That was a good way to spend a life.

“I'm not saying you have to keep going,” Callie countered gently. If Arizona wanted a change, she would only have her support. “If you want to be a plumber, I'm proud to be married to a plumber.” It won her a laugh and Callie smiled against soft, fair hair.

“I don't want more time off,” Arizona decided. “But I don't know how to deal with patients feeling like this. Not seeing his face everywhere like I was today.”

Nodding, Callie kissed her hair again. “So what do you want to do? More time in the lab, maybe?” Whatever Arizona decided, she would have her back.

“I don't know,” Arizona repeated herself, sighing. “I won't do anything crazy until I figure it out, don't worry.”

“I'm not worried,” said Callie in the same soft tone. “And if you need any help figuring it out...”

Arizona picked her head up, smiling shallowly and pecking a kiss to her wife's lips. “I know,” she promised. “I think I'm going to head upstairs.”

Nodding, Callie let her slip free of her arms. “Okay. I'll be up soon.” She let Arizona round the couch. “Love you.”

“I love you too,” Arizona echoed, her steps slow on the stairs. This was grief, depression, she knew that. But she was Arizona Robbins. She didn't do depression. That wouldn't stop it though. And she knew Callie would be at her side, holding her steady no matter what. Instead of continuing to the end of the hall and her bedroom she opened the second door and peeked in on Sofia, smiling to herself as she pulled the blankets back up over her little sprawling sleeper. Sofia was her light, no matter what was happening in her life. And with her strength and her light, she'd get through this.

That determination didn't stop her from catching Alex the next morning though. “Take this case and I'll take one of yours,” she proposed with no preface, wheeling up beside him at the nurses' station.

He glanced at the paperwork and shook his head. “That's not even surgical,” he denied. “I'm not trading cutting for not cutting.”

One blonde eyebrow went up. “I don't think you're understanding me, Karev,” Arizona said coolly. “This is your case now. I can't be on it.” Without waiting for his argument, Arizona smacked the chart down onto the top of his stack and gestured for the nurse at the desk to hand her a chart. “You better get over there, he'll need to be monitored this morning,” she said as she kicked off down the hall in the other direction, leaving Alex confused and frowning in her wake.

“Your wife has gone bonkers,” he told Callie when they encountered each other in the supply room, the Ortho surgeon searching for parts for an upcoming surgery.

“Yeah, but she's cute,” Callie agreed easily, the smirking smile fading when she noticed his earnest concern. They both denied it, but Alex and Arizona cared a lot about each other. “What's going on?”

“She stole my case and put me on some kid that's not even surgical. He'll be fine and discharged in a day! And she wouldn't tell me why or anything, just stole my chart!” He leaned against the rack she was searching, his hands in the pockets of his coat. “Is she okay, Torres?”

Callie sighed, not sure how to answer him. “She's still... coping with losing the baby. Give her one?” she requested. “Give her a few?”

Understanding, Alex nodded, arms crossing his chest. “I'll watch out for her.”

“Thank you, Alex.”

And in spite of handing the case over to him, Alex was unsurprised to find Arizona lingering outside _his_ patient's room. “Hey, boss.” He was careful not to sound anything but normal. “I was just going in to talk to the parents if you want to step in with me.”

She took another long look through the window and shook her head, her shoulders tight and tense under her lab coat. “No, I'm gonna go.” Catching Alex's eye, she forced a smile. She could tell when he was being even slightly protective of her. Or _over_ protective, as she saw it. And there was no doubt in her mind that her wife was somehow involved too. That she minded less. Callie was going through the same thing she was and Arizona reserved the right to be protective herself so she couldn't blame her. “If you see my wife, tell her I'll be in the lab.”

And she did spend some time in the lab, looking over Callie's clinical trial papers idly (she was unbelievably proud of her wife – the genius), but that wasn't where she was when Callie found her. Instead, she was standing outside the hospital daycare, watching Sofia and Zola chase Bailey's son Tuck.

Callie wanted to ask if she should be worried about her partner ditching surgery (Arizona hadn't been in the OR all day, she'd checked) for the lab and this, baby watching, but she had to trust that if things got more serious, Arizona would talk to her. So she simply slipped an arm around her wife's waist. “Hey gorgeous. You ready to go home?”

Arizona nodded easily, leaning into the kiss Callie planted on her cheek. One hand pulled the daycare's door open. “Sofia, sweetie, let's move out,” she called, nodding to the nurse at the wall. “March,” she repeated herself when the little girl pouted and sent them a familiar pleading look.

“I love when you go military,” Callie sighed, grinning when the comment got her a look from her wife. “It's hot,” she said unselfconsciously, her shoulders shrugging.

“You'll see Zola and Tuck again tomorrow,” Arizona reminded her daughter. “It's time to go home.”

The little trio exchanged their goodbyes and Sofia joined her parents, handing her bag off to Callie and taking the lead out the door, leaving her mothers to follow her. They could only laugh as she continued to swap familiar greetings and high fives with half the hospital staff on their way out. Sofia was wonderful, perfect. And Arizona had desperately wanted more of that wonder, of her love for Callie, Callie's love for her, running around in the world as a literally perfect tiny human. But he'd slipped away before they'd gotten him. Her stomach clenched at the reminder.

“Moms, can we have breakfast for supper?”

Sofia's question snapped her out of her morose thoughts and she smiled, not faking it for the first time that day. “That sounds awesome.” At her side Callie smiled to herself and laced their fingers.


	11. Chapter 11

A dry throat made Arizona cough, her shoulders rising around her ears as she immediately felt her wife's eyes on her back. She hadn't made an innocent noise in weeks without Callie looking at her out of the side of her eyes. “It was just a cough, Calliope,” she said, trying to stay patient. Not that she could blame her entirely. The cancer had snuck up on them. And her wife's paranoia was not without cause. “You have to relax,” she sighed, staring down at the open file on the table in front of her without seeing the words on the page. “I'm fine.”

“I know,” Callie said, her voice heavy. She stirred her coffee slowly, trying not to stare at the back of Arizona's head. She just couldn't help herself. Arizona had to be okay or her world wasn't on its right axis. “I'm sorry.” She didn't want to be this person, tense and anxious every time Arizona even sneezed.

“Do you want to take a look?” Arizona offered, giving her partner a look over her shoulder.

“Would you?”

“Calliope,” sighed Arizona, turning on her chair to face the other woman fully. This would not be their first reassurance test.

“I know!” Callie groaned before the blonde could say anything else. “I know, it's insane, and annoying, and you're sick of it, I know it, but Arizona...” She trailed off, looking uncertain.

“'But Arizona,' what?” Arizona prompted. “We look, and there's nothing there, but what?”

A heavy sigh escaped Callie, her shoulders slumping. “But I have to take care of you, Arizona. But you had cancer, and -”

Standing up, Arizona took three long steps across the room until she was in Callie's space. Callie's head was down though and she took her wife's coffee cup out of her hand gently and set it aside, guiding both of Callie's arms around her, relieved when hands slid up her back to pull her closer. “Look at me,” she coaxed in a whisper. Brown eyes met hers for a glance and Arizona used two fingers under her chin to move her head back up. “You didn't give me cancer, Calliope. And when we found out there was something wrong you never left my side. Do you understand how amazing you have been through all of this? Because you're incredible.” She cocked her head and Callie sighed. “And I do not have cancer anymore.” Callie's mouth dropped open to protest and Arizona continued quickly, “And I know you're scared but we're going to be careful, and we'll get checkups, and everything will be okay.” Callie's mouth was still open and Arizona darted her head forward to peck her wife's bottom lip. “But we will not be dragging ourselves in here every time I hiccup, okay?”

“Arizona-”

“I love you,” the blonde cut her off. “I love you so much. And you take such good care of me. And you didn't miss anything, or let me down.” She blinked, fingers on the back of Callie's neck curling into her hair. “Please just, we'll talk, and I swear I'll tell you if I think we need to worry but I can't live like this, with us being scared of shadows.”

And Callie knew that Arizona was right, that there was nothing wrong anymore, but the thought of taking that for granted, of getting called into another exam room to see a shadow on a monitor and feel the world drop out from under her again, it made something like ice settle into her stomach. Chewing on her lip, she could only sigh again.

“Calliope...”

“I am _trying_ , okay?” Callie interjected. “But you're – _everything_ , Arizona! And I won't lose you!”

Arizona didn't try and argue with her, said nothing more to convince her that she was fine, just burrowed her head into Callie's shoulder and held on tight. “Will you come lay down with me?” she asked, her voice soft, scarcely audible. 

Callie gave no answer but let herself be lead to the nearest on-call room, pulling Arizona into her arms on the narrow bunk and guiding her wife's body securely into her embrace. She would never let anything take this woman from her. Arizona felt good against her, the warmth of her body comforting and comfortable. Her breath came short when Arizona steered her hand from her waist to the edge of her scrub top and underneath. “A-Arizona...”

“Shh,” the blonde hushed her, guiding Callie's fingers to the tiny scar left behind from her surgery. It was already only a slight indentation on her stomach. Addison was very, _very_ good at what she did. With any luck it would disappear almost entirely in time.

Of course Callie had seen the mark after the surgery, had seen it starting to fade in her followup checkups, but it wasn't something she was aware of ever having touched deliberately. It had been physically painful for Arizona at first and remained an emotionally painful reminder of what they had lost. “I don't want to-”

“You're not hurting me,” Arizona whispered. “You wouldn't hurt me.” She breathed deeply, wriggling her body even further back into Callie's loving grip. “We're hurting, Calliope. But it won't be like this forever. We're going to be okay.” Coaxing her partner's fingers lightly, she sighed when soft fingertips took her prompting and started drawing gentle circles on her skin. 

Neither one spoke, Callie gradually relaxing into the contact and letting her palm press against Arizona’s stomach. She dropped her face into Arizona’s neck and inhaled deeply. It was almost as if she could draw everything Arizona was inside herself, keep her safe and whole, protect her from everything and anything that could ever hurt her. “I know I've been driving you crazy,” she said quietly. “I just want to protect you. Because you are the most important person in the world to me.” Arizona stayed quiet, knowing that Callie had been holding onto a lot of her own feelings in her attempt to be strong for her and Sofia. “I need you, Arizona. And Sofia needs you. God, baby...”

Arizona spoke up at that point, hushing her softly. “I'm not going anywhere,” she promised, rubbing her wife's arm soothingly. “And you aren't going anywhere. Sofia is going to run us ragged, I'm sure, but I can't wait for that, honestly.”

“Arizona...” She couldn't imagine raising their daughter without her partner. The thought of it sent a shudder down her spine. Arizona squeezed her arm, able to feel the tremor go through her. Callie hugged in her tighter, Arizona moving willingly into the embrace.

“I'm right here,” she promised. She wanted Callie to remember that. “Hang onto me though. I'm right here. Don't let me go.” It was for more than Callie's benefit – she felt relief and comfort nowhere else like in Callie's arms. And her wife was more than up to the task, holding her tight, keeping her safe and warm. “We're grieving. It's okay to be upset.” One hand pressed Callie's into her abdomen. “But there's nothing in here,” Arizona promised. Nothing that wasn't supposed to be, anyway. And one thing that was supposed to be there was gone too. She knew instinctively that this wasn't about the baby. Not right now. At this moment, for Callie, this was about her, about letting out the fear of losing her that had had her flinching for weeks.

Arizona felt the tension snap, Callie choking back a sob against her neck and pulling her in impossibly tighter.

“Let it go, Calliope,” coaxed Arizona in a whisper, turning over in her wife's arms. She couldn't let Callie cry like this and not hold her. “Come here.” Gentle hands drew Callie's head to her chest, arms and legs wrapping almost painfully tight around her in the new position. “I've got you.”

She'd held Sofia in this exact same hold after she'd fallen on her skates on the driveway and scraped her knees. The sound of crying from the other side of the yard had made her heart skip a beat.

It felt like it was being ripped out now watching Callie finally release some of her relief and grief. Because she knew that the two were inseparable. She was still here and their baby had been lost. Callie's tears were soaking into her shirt and Arizona had trouble keeping her own breathing steady. So she stopped trying, letting her own tears escape in a slow, steady stream down her face. All she could do was hold Callie and cry. But it strangely felt like something they each needed.

Arizona’s eyes were swollen by the time Callie calmed down enough to lift her head, one hand rising shakily to swipe tears from her wife's cheeks with a thumb. “I hate when you cry,” she said, her voice cracked and rough with her emotion. “It makes me want to cry.” Callie was tearing up again, trying to keep the waterworks from starting back up again. “Arizona...”

“It's okay,” whispered Arizona, turning her face into Callie's hand. “Cry if you need to.”

“I don't want to.” Callie leaned in instead, pressing a chaste, salty kiss to her partner's lips. “God, I hate this,” she whimpered, blinking back more tears as she locked eyes with Arizona. “I love you.”

Arizona nodded, their noses brushing as she moved. “I know you do. I love you too.” She tried to think of something, anything, that could bring Callie any comfort. “Do you want to know what I was thinking about before the surgery?” she asked, her own voice choked and low. Callie nodded, noses bumping again. She took another kiss without a word, not sure she actually did want to know, but knowing that she had to let Arizona tell her. “I was thinking how we would juggle Sofia's soccer practice with our surgical schedules if I had to go to Chemo more than once a month.” Callie whimpered, brows furrowing as she teared up again. “I know, I'm sorry,” Arizona whispered, hating the pain in her partner's eyes. “But do you know what I never, ever doubted, Calliope? That you would be there to figure it out with me.” She smiled tremulously. “Since we woke up in the living room floor together I haven't wanted a future with anyone but you.”

“I'm not going _anywhere_ ,” Callie promised in a hushed whisper, leaning forward in a rush to kiss her again. Her hands caught Arizona's face, holding her in the kiss. The blonde was making no move to escape though.

“Neither am I,” Arizona echoed when she could, leaning her forehead against Callie's so that all they could see was each other's eyes. “What if we did another ultrasound and found something?” she asked, still seeking the words that might help Callie get past her phobia of a recurrence. “Would it change anything for you?” She already knew the answer, of course, didn't doubt her wife's devotion to her.

Callie's mouth fell open, her head jerking backwards. “No!” she gasped, slapping her wife's thigh sharply in rebuke. “Never!”

“I know that!” promised Arizona, hooking her leg over Callie's and catching her hands. “I know it wouldn't. You wouldn't leave me if I was still sick.” She caught her wife's deep brown eyes. “And you won't leave me if I happen to get sick again. But Callie, we can be careful, and vigilant, and it doesn't have to control our lives.” Her mouth dropped, corners turning down. “I know that all the wondering is killing you. And watching it is killing me,” she confessed. “We can't live like this, Calliope.”

Sighing, Callie nodded against the pillow, her eyes swimming with tears again. “I know...”

Arizona tried a hopeful smile, stroking light fingers across her wife's cheek. “We'll be okay. Whatever happens. I'm not leaving you, you're not leaving me.” She nestled closer, Callie's arms dragging her in. “And if we have to, we'll fight can-”

“Stop,” Callie cut her off. “I will do _anything_ with you, but don't say it.” She blinked back tears, licking her lips. “Please?”

“Okay,” promised Arizona soothingly. She would never do something that she knew would cause her partner pain. Her touch moved up to comb gently through dark hair. “Are you okay?”

Callie's head bobbed again and she pulled Arizona's head into her shoulder, resting her chin on soft blonde hair. “I will _not_ be okay if you get sick, Arizona.” She took a deep, steadying breath. “I _will_ be with you, though. No matter what.”

“Good, because you are stuck with me,” Arizona said, her body relaxing spontaneously against Callie's warm, comfortable, support.

“You're stuck with me,” Callie corrected her decisively. “God, I'm so tired of crying.” More than that, even, she was more than tired of being petrified anytime Arizona coughed. She wasn't going to blame herself for worrying about her wife. The anxiety wouldn't just go away either. But she knew that Arizona was right – they couldn't, _she_ couldn't live like this, with her scared of something that might never happen. The best thing she could do would be remind herself every day not that Arizona might get cancer again, but remind herself that _if_ she did that it would change nothing about her own devotion to her wife and their marriage. She was with Arizona, come hell or high water. Or cancer.

“Honey...”

Callie cut her off again. “No, I know. It's okay. I'm done for now,” she promised. She took a deep, steadying breath. “You smell really good,” Callie said instead of continuing down their conversational rabbit hole. It might be her fault but it felt like all they talked about anymore was the cancer, or the possibility of the cancer. She wanted to talk about something, anything, else.

Chuckling, Arizona nestled her head in against Callie's neck. “It's just my usual shampoo, Calliope.”

Her partner's breathing was tickling her skin, sending a tremor down her back. “I guess I just haven't been close enough to notice it lately,” she said almost apologetically and took another deep breath. “I'm back on focus now and you smell good.” Arizona kissed her chest right above the collar of her shirt. “And you feel good.”

“Yes, I do,” Arizona confirmed, wiggling herself deeper into Callie's arms. For an on-call room visit that had started because Callie's anxiety was stifling this hadn't tuned out too badly at all. She sighed, eyes falling closed. “You feel really good too.”


	12. Chapter 12

“Here she comes.” There was no movement, no sounds in the house that Callie could detect, but she didn't doubt Arizona's precognition. And sure enough, a moment later Sofia was tearing through their door and catapulting herself into their bed. “Told you...”

“It's my birthday!” Her parents exchanged smiles, knowing looks, and Sofia clambered up between them, flopping to the blankets and turning onto her back to look up at them. “It's my birthday,” she repeated more quietly, grinning happily at them.

That smile made Callie's heart skip a beat, though the one mirrored on Arizona's face was shadowed by grief. She would give anything to see the previous joy in her expression but she knew they were still dealing with everything. And even though today should just be about celebrating their daughter, Callie knew that she'd been lying in bed before Arizona's whisper thinking about the life they wouldn't get to celebrate, only mourn.

“No way! Is it?” Arizona played up her playful, teasing disbelief and Sofia leaned up on both arms so she could see both of her mothers' faces. “I really think we would remember something like that,” she continued, their daughter's mouth falling open in horror at the thought that her parents had forgotten her birthday. “We would remember something like that, wouldn't we, Mami?”

Callie mustered a smile, stretching through their warm sheets. Sofia's knobby knee was planted next to her thigh and she bumped it with a laugh. “I think we might. We were both there... But when was that, exactly...?”

Sofia's eyes widened, jaw moving as she tried to think of an objection. Arizona did the same thing and Callie's heart swelled. “Mama!” she whined. “My birthday's _today_!” she told them loudly. “I told you yesterday! And Zola's coming over! And Tuck! And Luke and Theo! And Mami made a cake!”

“Oh!” Arizona pretended understanding suddenly, grinning. “Is that why Mami made that cake?!” She looked at Callie with a wink. “That's a good looking cake.”

“Yeah! It's for my birthday party!” The little girl was starting to smile hopefully, catching on to the fact that she was being played with.

“We know,” Arizona assured her, tickling squirming sides and making Sofia shriek with laughter. “What does the birthday girl want for breakfast?”

“Frenched Toast!”

Arizona laughed, letting up with her tickling. “I think I can handle that.” Sofia stayed long enough to let each of her parents kiss her face before she was off the bed and out of their bedroom with a yelp over her shoulder for them to hurry up. Neither woman moved though, Arizona turning onto her side to look at Callie, tracing her profile with her eyes. “You okay?” she asked softly. Callie only blinked at the ceiling. “You're kind of quiet over there.”

“I'm okay.”

Sighing, Arizona shifted closer. “I know I just woke up and don't look all that hot, but you can't look at me when you say that?” Callie didn't lie to her, she knew that, she just needed to see her partner's eyes to get an idea how much Callie was stretching the truth this time. Okay wasn't a very precise word.

Brown eyes found hers and Callie shook her head with a smile. “Goof.” She leaned over for a soft kiss. “I love your bedhead.” Humming, she took another, longer kiss. “And I am...” Words failed her. Callie wasn't sure _what_ she was, exactly.

“I understand,” Arizona murmured. “I'm happy and sad. We can feel both, right?” She took a shaky breath. “For a while, this time, we can feel both?” It was supposed to be a statement but it came out a question.

“God, I hope so,” sighed Callie, rubbing at her eyes with the heel of a hand.

“Mama!” The call from downstairs interrupted further conversation.

“You go. I'll be right behind you,” Callie said, prompting her out of bed. And Arizona knew how slowly Callie could move getting up when there wasn't a pager or a little girl encouraging her. “I promise,” she said when Arizona didn't look convinced. “I'll be down in two minutes.”

Another call from Sofia made up Arizona's mind for her, the blonde leaving with a look over her shoulder. Callie just closed her eyes and breathed deep. Their bed sheets smelled like detergent, the scent wafting up when she moved, and she turned over to bury her face in Arizona's pillow, breathing in the scent of her wife's hair on the fabric.

If anything had gone wrong she could have lost this. She could have lost her wife. If Addison hadn't gotten the tumor, she could have been watching Arizona fade away, leave her a week at a time as it grew, as the disease progressed. But Arizona was here, just downstairs making breakfast for their family. Her spot in their bed was still warm from her presence. Callie slid over into it and closed her eyes. It had come at a cost though. Addison said they could have lost the baby anyway, which broke her heart. They'd wanted another baby so badly. And Arizona had worked so hard to want that pregnancy for herself, to be okay with carrying their child. And it had all blown up in their faces.

“Mami, where are you!?”

The call from the base of the stairs got her moving, pulling a robe over her shoulders and following the sound of her daughter's voice. She could smell the French toast from halfway down the hall and her stomach growled appreciatively. Arizona had told her once that she had never really cooked for her previous relationships. Of course Callie knew that she was special, Arizona had married her, but the little reminders still made something in her chest flutter and fly.

“Happy birthday, Sofia. Te amo.” Callie dropped a kiss on brown curls and passed the table to slip her hands across her wife's hips, pressing against her back. “And you.”

“You just want the next batch of toast,” Arizona teased, head leaning back against her shoulder when Callie nuzzled under her jaw.

Callie laughed, her hands sliding across Arizona's sides. “I can take over here if you want to sit and eat,” she offered. 

Arizona held up a plate loaded with French toast instead. “You get started on this before they get cold. I'll finish up these and be right there.” She took a quick kiss before Callie retreated. “Sof, you got enough?”

Sofia started to speak around her mouthful, stopping when Callie sent her a look. “Si, Mama,” she answered after she swallowed, pushing the syrup bottle across to Callie's seat.

Finishing at the stove Arizona joined them at the table, her knee bumping Callie's as she took her seat, hands brushing as she reached to take the syrup bottle. Callie smiled, feeling almost shy. She loved her wife, loved their daughter, their family, all the time, every second of every day. It felt like her emotions were all over the place lately though. And today was magnifying everything – her relief that she wasn't a widowed single mother on her daughter's birthday, the utter confusion that came from mourning one child while celebrating another. The grief and joy and relief were all entwined and she wasn't sure how to cope with them today, when she should just be happy that her baby girl was now a four year old tiny human with a big heart, energy, imagination, and spirit to spare. And who looked more like her mother every day, making Callie's world more and more beautiful.

“What time's everybody coming to my party?” Sofia asked eagerly, poking up a bite with her fork squeezed in her fist.

“Around lunch time,” answered Arizona with a smile, her knee bumping Callie's again to draw her eyes. No matter what she said, she could see that something was bothering the brunette. It wasn't something they could discuss in front of Sofia. And especially not on her birthday. “I hear Uncle T's got you a really cool surprise.”

“Is it lunch time yet?!”

Her parents smiled, the question asked around a mouthful of breakfast. “Not for a few hours.” Sofia slumped melodramatically in her chair and Callie bit her lip as she snuck a glance at Arizona. “But we're going to go to the park early to help him set it up, so you can see it then,” she said, Sofia perking up immediately.

“What is it?!”

Arizona interjected smoothly, “It's a surprise. You can be patient until lunch time.”

Turned out that Sofia could be forced to be patient until lunch time, but she had made no agreement not to be hyper while she waited (more or less patiently), running and playing eagerly in the yard while she waited as her parents put together the decorations and the presents and everything they needed to take to the park with them.

Arizona did her best to keep an eye on Callie, glad to see that staying busy with the party preparations was keeping her brooding time to a minimum. And it was a beautiful day out, rare perfect weather for a day in the park. A few hours and multiple trips to the car to get loaded up later Arizona whistled Sofia down, Callie shooting her a smirk when her door was opened for her.

“You think you're really charming, don't you?” she asked teasingly, Arizona winking at her.

“I _am_ really charming,” the blonde corrected her. “And you love it.” She opened the door for Sofia and watched her buckle herself in. “It's twisted right there, mija.”

Callie glanced at them over her shoulder as she did up her own seat belt, her heart swelling. Arizona was a fantastic mother, patient and supportive, gentle and loving, protective and proud. _Such_ a great mom. And she wasn't sure she could be more attracted, more drawn, to her partner, but watching Arizona with Sofia did it every time. And they'd both wanted another baby... Sighing, she shoved the morose thoughts away. Sofia, her angel and the light of her parents' lives, was four today. They were celebrating that.

Arizona finished with Sofia's seat and closed the door, popping back to the front doorway and leaning in so her face was in front of Callie's. “Hey,” she greeted her softly. Callie leaned forward slowly when she didn't say anything, kissing her. Arizona pulled on her bottom lip with hers but didn't deepen the kiss further. They still had to get to the park and it wasn't the time to be pushing things like that. Intimacy she was still skittish about, but kissing in front of Sofia was safe. Nothing could happen. Callie was smiling at her when she pulled back and Arizona licked her lips. “There's my girl,” she murmured, bumping their noses and taking another soft kiss.

“Here I am, Mama!” Sofia called from the backseat, giggling. “Are we going? Now?!”

“Yeah, we're going,” Arizona promised her, smiling again at Callie. “Right now.” She closed Callie's door with both hands and rounded the hood to her seat behind the wheel.

Sofia was looking out the window when they parked so she could see her surprise out the window and let out an excited yelp as the inflating towers of her birthday bouncy castle came into view. “Mami, look! Look! See it?!”

“I see it,” said Callie with a laugh. “You like it?”

“It's the bestest!” Sofia declared happily, already working on her buckles as Arizona guided the car into a space next to Tim's pickup.

Callie let her out and she was off like a shot toward her uncle and aunt and the double stroller parked at the picnic table. Her parents could still see her so they didn't follow, Callie turning toward the back of the car to help Arizona with the bags. Unsurprisingly, Tim appeared behind them to help, greeting the women with grins and one armed hugs. “Give me the heavy stuff,” he requested, snaking an arm between them to grab the handle of a cooler.

Arizona smirked but let him help, stepping back so he could lift the ice filled cooler. “Thanks, brother. You guys been here long?”

“Nah. The boys are just finishing up a nap. Luke didn't want to go down today.” He laughed, his pride in his kids all over his tone.

“What about Little T?” Callie asked, taking the cake off Arizona's hands.

“Oh, you know he's a little Mama's boy. He's out like a light as soon as Teddy rocks him. You got it?” he checked when Arizona hoisted a paper bag full of two liters.

She just winked at him cockily, Callie laughing at the similarities between brother and sister. “You just go with that. We got it.” Tim carted the cooler away and Arizona shifted her bags in her arms. “You got it?” she checked.

Callie leaned in to kiss her cheek lightly. “I got it. Let's get this party started.”

“Mama, Mami, look at it!” Sofia called, jumping eagerly as she watched her castle inflate. “It's _so_ giant!”

The other kids expressed the same sentiment as they arrived, the whole group of them happy to bounce around and entertain themselves, leaving their parents to just keep an eye on them while they talked. The twins were a bit too young to play with the bigger kids unsupervised so Theo was contentedly snuggled up on his mother's lap while Lucas toddled between the adults' knees.

Arizona smiled as her nephew impacted with her legs, her arm slung casually across the back of the bench, fingers dragging idly back and forth across Callie's elbow. Luke just laughed and bounced off, grinning up at his aunts. “Hey, buddy,” Arizona greeted him. He had his dad's dark eyes, the sandy mop on his head coming honestly from both of his parents. One hand flailed as he tried to catch his balance and Arizona leaned forward to grab his hand.

He laughed again and Callie felt her heart swell. She was in love with her wife, more in love that she could have ever imagined that first morning she'd woken up on the floor next to her. And watching her playfully dance their nephew around by his hands, the toddler laughing happily along with Arizona, her heart skipped a beat.

Leaning back into Callie when she let Lucas go, Arizona could feel the puff of breath against her ear as Callie sighed. She reached back and pulled her wife's arm so that it was over her shoulders. “Hey.”

“Hey,” Callie echoed her, rubbing the top of her arm gently.

“If I ask you what's wrong, what are the chances you'll tell me the truth?” Arizona whispered, her eyes tracking Luke's progress back across the grass toward his grandparents. A cricket jumped in front of his path and he wobbled on his feet, a wide grin breaking across his face, delighted with the little jumping bug.

Callie sighed, a soft smile on her own lips. “You already know.”

Pursing her lips, Arizona held back her own sigh. She did know. She'd been thinking about it too. “Are you okay?”

“Are you?”

One hand swatted the top of Callie's thigh, palm rubbing the denim right after the quick blow. “How about you answer me instead of turning it around?” she requested.

Callie turned her face into Arizona's hair. From anyone else's point of view she imagined it looked like they were whispering sweet little flirty things to each other. It would have been normal behavior for them... before. It would be again. “I can worry about you too, you know,” she deflected again.

“Yeah, but it's like the crazy days,” countered Arizona. “And I called being the worried one today. It's my turn. So... how much do I need to worry?”

It took her a moment to answer. “Medium? Arizona, I don't know. I just...”

Arizona sighed, wishing she knew of any way to get them through this. “I know.” She shifted so she could turn her head and see her wife's face. “Will you tell me if it goes higher than medium?” Callie could only nod, her throat moving as she swallowed. “Okay, good.” Arizona returned to her position, leaning back against her partner's shoulder and watching the kids playing. Callie's arm hugged her in, hand dangling over her shoulder and she reached up to lace their fingers. She could see her mother's smile out of the corner of her eye as she felt Callie's lips on her temple.

Sofia was exhausted from all the excitement by the time they were packing up to go home, Arizona holding her sleepy little birthday girl on her hip as they watched the castle deflate. “You have a good birthday, Sof?”

“Uh-huh,” she mumbled. “It was the best, Mama.”

Smiling, Arizona hugged her, meeting Callie's eyes as her wife carried the last of their trash to the can. Callie's smile was soft, radiant as she looked at her family. “I'm glad, baby. I'm so glad.” Sofia yawned, her head drooping onto Arizona's shoulder. “You sleepy?”

“No,” the little girl denied stubbornly, head jumping up as she tried to prove it.

“Come on, mija. Let's go to the car. You can lay down in the backseat.”

The empty cooler was already in the back, the tailgate open, and Arizona opened the backdoor with one hand, carefully depositing her cargo in her seat, covering her up with her own jacket. Sofia mumbled and Arizona smiled, adjusting the coat to cover her feet.

Closing the door, she stepped back straight into Callie's hands on her hips. The brunette laughed quietly when she jumped. “Didn't mean to scare you,” she mumbled into her neck. “Sof's sleeping?”

“She's worn out.” Arizona leaned into the embrace, arms slipping around her waist. “It was a big day.”

“For all of us.” Callie could see their sleeping angel through the window and she nuzzled her head against her partner. “She is getting so big.” And more amazing by the minute, even in her sleep her mothers loved her more every moment. Dropping her face into Arizona's neck, she dropped a light kiss on the skin. She still didn't feel better about anything, but she knew of one way to help them both start getting better tonight. If Arizona was up for it.

“I think she wanted to take the castle home.” Arizona had to focus to steady her breathing. Callie had either had a dramatic mood shift, or she was looking to shift it in their usual way. She knew her wife very well. And working on her clinical trial was one way of coping. But there was nothing Callie liked better than sex. And normally she was right there, willing and able to meet any of her wife's needs...

“I don't think the yard's big enough,” Callie commented, laughing. “Maybe we could look into a tree house or something, though.”

“That would be good,” hummed Arizona, Callie unconsciously swaying them from side to side. She was sensual in a subtle, casual way that Arizona wasn't sure she even knew that she was. “And the boys could play with it too when they're a little older. Maybe for Christmas.”

Callie nodded, her chin on Arizona's shoulder. “Sounds like a plan.” A breeze teased up goosebumps on Arizona's fair arms and she edged them forward toward the car. “Time to get my girls home.” Arizona was reaching for the handle of Callie's door when the other woman spun her, backing her against the still closed door.

“Oh.” More words were intercepted by a kiss, the contact light, soft, and slow. _Oh._ Fingers combed through her hair and she angled her head into the kiss. Callie pressed closer and the cold metal of their car made her jump.

Callie didn't pull back, the kiss ending with a smile against her wife's lips. “Sorry, I just... had to kiss you. Let's go home.”

She smiled, shaking her head and licking her lips. “No apologizing.” Arizona let Callie guide her off the car door, the brunette smiling gratefully when she opened the door for her.

Arizona drove home, as usual, Callie taking Sofia from the backseat after they parked in their driveway. The sleeping girl was a dead weight in her arms but that wasn't what made her frown. “What's up? You got her?” Arizona checked even as she hoisted the now empty cooler, flipping it over in the grass to let it drain the last bit of water out. They could get it inside in the morning.

“Did she feel warm earlier? She's a little warm now...”

Frowning herself, Arizona tried to think. “She was, but she'd been running around in the sun all day.” Leaning the cooler beside the front door, she checked the little girl's face with both hands. “She is warm.” She unlocked the door and Callie carried Sofia in.

“I'm going to put her to bed.” 

Callie went straight up the stairs, Arizona getting the last of their refuse from the car and locking up behind her before following her to the second floor. “How's she doing?”

Looking at her from the side of Sofia's bed, Callie sighed. “Her temp's just at one hundred, but she's still sleeping.”

Arizona moved up beside her, Callie's fingers hooking through her belt loop as the blonde leaned over to kiss her daughter's head lightly. “I don't want to wake her up, but...”

“We'll keep an eye on her,” Callie promised. “She'll wake up if it gets worse and we'll get some fluids into her. There's nothing we can do right now.” She stood up, fingers still at her wife's waist to gently tug her away. “We'll go to bed, won't sleep well, and we can take turns checking on her, okay?”

Nodding reluctantly, Arizona let herself be led. And Sofia had unknowingly solved how she was going to get out of sex tonight. Not that she didn't want Callie, because she did. Her own feelings about everything were still all mixed up. And she was working on it. But being intimate, making love to Callie, felt like a big step right now. With a sigh she pulled the door behind her, speaking over her shoulder, “Happy Birthday, Sofia. We love you.”


	13. Chapter 13

One of the advantages of having another Pediatric surgeon on the staff, particularly one who owed his career to her, was the ability to choose her own hours with no arguments from Alex Karev. One of the downsides of being the department head, however, was having to answer the phone even though she was very comfortably snuggled up on the couch with her wife. Callie's hand, which had been idly roaming up and down her side, stilled on her hip to let her stretch up to the end table and grab the offending device.

“What's up, Karev?”

His voice was low, clearly he was trying not to be overheard. “One of the interns just had a _way_ premature baby – twenty four weeks – and the Chief wants you in on her surgery. There's a lot of problems, boss.”

“Okay, chill, it's alright, I'm coming in,” Arizona told him, sitting up and feeling Callie's hands fall away. “Get them to the OR and I'll meet you in there. How's Morgan doing?”

“She's in with Teddy,” Alex answered, distracted. “It's a cardiac event from the pregnancy. Wait, how'd you know Megan's name?”

Arizona couldn't help rolling her eyes. No matter how many years she'd worked with him, he was still Alex – caring but oblivious almost to a fault. “Everybody knows about the pregnant intern, Alex. You just keep that kid alive until I get there,” she ordered him brusquely. Hanging up the phone, she leaned over to drop a peck on Callie's lips. “I'm sorry, babe, I've got to-”

“It's okay. Go be awesome,” Callie prompted, stretching against their new, much comfier, couch and covering a yawn. “I'll be here when you get back.”

Arizona smiled, smoothing dark hair back from Callie's face. “Don't wait up. Go to bed.”

“It's no fun without you in there too,” the brunette teased, a sleepy, utterly sexy smile on her face. God, was she gorgeous.

It made Arizona flush, feeling almost guilty. Since losing the baby their sex life had been in a strange pattern of starts and stops. Some of it was having a hyper little girl and full time careers as highly skilled surgeons. And some of it was her. She knew she was holding back, holding herself back. And Callie was sweet, loving, patient, the same wonderful woman she'd married.

At least the surgery part of her life was more or less back on track. She still felt the urge to dodge the occasional case, but Alex was a decent enough guy not to say anything about it. She'd started having dreams though, which hadn't helped their 'not having sex' problem, though she wasn't sure that Callie had made that connection yet. Of course, her wife knew about the dreams, she was there to hold her through them when they came. Seeing the son they'd lost in her sleep wasn't something she'd shared. Instead she'd let Callie believe the dreams were spurred by her cases. And her partner was no idiot, Callie knew she wasn't okay from losing the baby yet, but she also knew when not to push.

Now wasn't the time to think about it though, so she leaned over for another quick kiss. “Love you. Seriously, don't wait up, Calliope.” It was already late and she didn't know when she would be getting home.

“You just go be awesome, Dr. Robbins. Let me take care of things here.”

Morgan's newborn son was a mess of problems and complications, the procedures needed to keep his heart beating feeling like so many temporary bandages rather than permanent solutions. Alex stayed cool and calm across the table though, the two of them working together silently and seamlessly.

And the silence gave Arizona unwanted time to think, niggling thoughts distracting a corner of her mind. So, to distract herself she spoke up with the first thing to pop into her head that wasn't about dead babies. “Did you sleep with Addison when she was here last time?”

The time she'd lost her baby without a chance to save him like she was trying to save Morgan's son.

Alex's eyes were confused and concerned in equal measure over his mask. “Wha-ho-did she say something to you?”

Blue eyes narrowed over Arizona's magnifiers. “Is there something to say, Karev? What did you do to her?” He didn't say anything, just cleared his throat and tried to refocus on his work. Arizona glared. “What the hell did you do, Alex?”

He hadn't actually slept with Addison _that_ time she'd been in Seattle, though that wasn't to say that they hadn't talked. Had a rather intense conversation, actually, in which she'd let him off the hook for responsibility in her recently discovered pregnancy. She was keeping the baby, but his role in the kid's life was up to him, from what she'd said. And he wanted to tell Arizona, she was the closest thing he'd ever had to a best friend, but her relationship with Addison (and the fact that she would _kill_ him) had forced him to keep it to himself. He'd considered talking to Tim, but felt sure he already knew what the other guy would say – noble stuff about being a man and the wonders of being a parent. But he was standing across the table from the emotional lows that came with putting yourself out there like that.

“Do you ever regret it? Putting so much of yourself in somebody else?”

Arizona frowned, her hands stilling as she tried to piece together what they were talking about. “You mean Callie?” She could never regret finding the love of her life. “Alex...”

“I've known you for a long time, you know? And you're -”

“I love my wife, Karev,” Arizona stated flatly, not sure what he was getting at. He knew them better than to question her relationship with her partner.

“It's not about that,” Alex tried to defend himself quickly. “I know you do. It's just-”

Arizona sighed, handing her scalpel to a nurse and stilling his hand over their patient with her gloved hand on his surgical sleeve. “Talk, Alex. Whatever's going on, you can talk to me,” she reminded him gently. Beeping from the monitors snapped her attention back to their work. “Let's finish this up and we'll go to Joe's, okay?” He nodded, swallowing hard as he met her eyes. “I already told Callie not to wait up for me,” she reassured him.

The silence resumed, each surgeon doing what they could and sending their patient to the NICU to wait. A lot of the baby's recovery would be waiting to see what went wrong next and trying to fix it. So neither was relaxed when they crossed the street to their favorite bar. Joe knew their preferences and had the glasses lined up on the counter by the time they got to chairs – white wine for Arizona and whiskey for Alex. “So what's going on? Why would you think I would ever regret Callie?”

“It's not about Callie. Or Sofia. Or-” he stopped himself and Arizona lowered her glass from her lips.

“Or the other one,” she finished the statement for him, her expression sad.

“Arizona...”

She stopped him with a hand on his wrist, his fist clenched on top of the bar. “It's okay, Alex.” Her voice was hoarse though and she took a sip of her wine. “That's what this is about? The baby? Alex, why, why are you-? Did Callie put you up to this?”

He shook his head. “It's not that. She doesn't know – no one knows.”

“So what's going on that no one knows?” Arizona was starting to put it together though. She asked about Addison (admittedly an inappropriate question) and he'd asked about her decision to have children. And even with what they were going through, she couldn't regret the joy that her daughter brought to their lives.

A look at his face confirmed it.

“Oh Alex, you didn't...” He sighed. “Addie's pregnant?” Part of her was excited, her friend had wanted this for a long time. But she couldn't imagine having a baby without Callie, so the thought of Addison doing it alone... And Alex would be a great dad, but he had to want it. “What did she say? And why didn't you, either of you, tell me?”

But she didn't need to ask that either. They hadn't told her because she'd just lost her own baby. Not telling her about their own pregnancy issues had been their attempt to respect her grief, protect her from anything that might cause a painful reminder.

“You know why,” he confirmed. “I wouldn't hurt you like that.”

“So you just haven't talked to anyone about what's going on? Alex...” Because _she_ could really talk about the need to share. She squeezed his wrist and withdrew her hand to pick up her glass again. “How far along is she?”

He shrugged, draining his drink and gesturing for another one. “Three months?” So Addison had found out she was pregnant a week or so before she'd come to Seattle. Arizona could understand why they hadn't dropped the bomb on her then. “And she says I don't have to -”

“Don't make it about the baby,” Arizona advised him, licking her lips and unconsciously playing with her wedding ring on her finger. She'd not wanted kids and it wasn't a decision that a person could change their mind on easily. And she knew him, the way he'd been raised, he wasn't going to just pay child support. If he had a kid, he was going to be in their lives. “If you feel something for Addison, if you want to try and make it work with her, then do that. But if you can't be that kid's dad, you can't force it. It'll be worse off for both of them to leave later,” she advised seriously, taking a long draw from her wineglass.

Alex blinked, surprised. “I kind of figured you'd talk about how awesome it is being a parent.”

“It is awesome,” she agreed, a smile lifting the corner of her mouth. “I could save a million people and Sofia will still be the best think I've ever done in my life,” she told him. “But you know it took me years to want that. And Callie's the only person I can imagine ever doing it with. So if Addison's not the one you want to raise a kid with, and that's a _big_ deal, Alex, then she's better off without you, honestly. Addison wants this, she's always wanted this. And you, even if you're not the kid's dad, you would be a good father, sperm donor, whatever. It'll be a good kid, you know? Bu if you're not sure about her, if you're just trying to be in it for the kid, you'll just hurt them both.”

He looked conflicted, his eyes on the dark wood of the bar's top. “I – I just don't know – yet.”

Arizona finished her drink and stood up, leaning over him to kiss his forehead. “You're a good man, Alex Karev.” She straightened to smile wanly at him. “And if you need to talk, I'm here.” He met her eyes, throat moving when he swallowed. “And you need to think, I guess, so I'm going home to my wife and my daughter.”

She had turned and was facing the door when he hoarsely asked, “So, no regrets?”

“Not for a second, Karev,” Arizona said plainly, pushing the door open with one hand and going up the stairs. She hoped Callie was asleep, it was late. She wasn't sure she could sleep though, thinking about Alex and Addison having a baby, thinking again about losing her own baby.

Her wife turned over no matter how quietly Arizona snuck into their bedroom, greeting her with a sleepy smile. “Hey.”

“You're supposed to be asleep,” Arizona reminded her, toeing off her shoes and breathing deep. Their room was dark, warm, soft, safe.

“I was,” Callie moaned, turning over under the covers to keep Arizona in sight as the blonde moved toward their closet. “But I missed you.” She slid out of bed and up behind the other woman, intercepting her hands as Arizona moved to change into pajamas. “Let me.”

The warm whisper against her skin sent a rush of sensation down her spine, but Arizona held herself stiffly, her breath coming short and shallow. It wasn't that she didn't want Callie to touch her, she did, it just felt... complicated right now.

Callie wasn't oblivious, she could feel the tension in her lover's frame, and she sighed but didn't withdraw. “Arizona, what is it? You freeze up when I touch you lately.” And her partner's body had long been recovered from her procedure, physically, at least. “I'm not trying to push you, sweetheart. I just miss you.”

“I miss you too,” Arizona breathed, leaning back into her but still not relaxing. Why was this so hard now? They'd been on the couch earlier and she'd been relaxed, comfortable. The living room wasn't as intimate as their bedroom though. “Tonight's not a good night, Calliope.”

“What happened? How's the baby?” Callie kicked herself mentally. She should have known the case tonight would bring up unpleasant associations for Arizona.

“The baby's fine. Or as good as can be. Actually, he's not great, but he's still alive,” the blonde said, her voice heavy. “It's not about that.” She sighed. “I just, can we talk about it in the morning?”

Callie leaned in, kissing the side of her neck. Arizona sucked in a sharp breath but she didn't withdraw, leaving her lips pressed against her skin. “Relax,” she coaxed. “I'm not pushing.” And she knew Arizona was still coping with losing the baby, she was too, but it wasn't like they could get pregnant again easily. As far as she could see, sex could only help them feel better.

The tension didn't slack but she didn't realize the thought had escaped her lips until Arizona jerked out of her arms. Blue eyes were wounded, her arms curling around herself. “Arizona...”

She backed away when Callie moved, edging around her and taking a step backward toward their door. “Don't, Callie, not now.” She turned around and Callie squeezed her eyes closed.

“Where are you going?”

“I think I'd rather sleep downstairs tonight,” the blonde told her, tremble in her voice feeling like a fist squeezing Callie's heart. How could she be so stupid, saying something like that? The recrimination couldn't sting as much as the sound of the door closing behind her wife.

And similar recriminations were going through Arizona's mind as she padded back downstairs. Her eyes burned as she endeavored to hold back tears. Damn it, she wasn't going to cry. Callie didn't think lightly of their loss, she knew that. And she wasn't trying to sleep with her to make her forget, or distract her, or anything more than to feel close, feel _together_. But hearing the words, their reality laid out, it hurt.

She had barely stretched out on the couch before she wanted to be back upstairs. Callie wasn't a vindictive person, would never hurt her deliberately, she was just passionate, not always thinking before she spoke. The grief felt fresh again. They'd lost their baby. And there was no easy way to move on. She was trying though. The tears came against her will, flowing hot down her face and leaving cold behind. She felt cold all over and curled up tighter under the thin (too thin) throw from the back of the couch.

Arizona heard the steps on the stairs, she wasn't sure how long she'd been on the couch but she hadn't been able to fall asleep yet, and she closed her eyes to feign sleep. A thicker blanket spread over her, Callie tucking her in carefully on all sides (even slipping her feet into socks because she knew how cold her toes got when she didn't have Callie's calves to warm them up between), made her breathe deeply, but she didn't open her eyes. It was surely moot, Callie knew how to tell when she was sleeping and faking, but the other woman didn't force the conversation they'd surely have in the morning. Instead she just pulled the cover protectively up over Arizona's shoulders and kissed her cheek. “I am _so_ sorry, Arizona. I didn't mean what I said. I love you.”

Sleep didn't come easily, even though the new couch slept like a dream about clouds. She did sleep though, waking up with her face smooshed against the back cushion. Turning over, she found Callie sitting in the chair and fidgeting with the pillow in her lap.

As soon as their eyes met Callie was out of her seat and on her knees next to the sofa “I _hate_ you not being the first thing I see in the morning,” she declared. “And I am so sorry I said that last night. We need to talk about more kids and I know that and-”

“Callie,” Arizona interrupted softly. She flipped the covers open with one arm. “Get off the floor and get in here.” Callie could put her foot in her mouth sometimes, but other times the things she said were completely perfect.

As comfortable as it was the couch was still a tight squeeze for two, but Arizona snuggled willingly into Callie's chest, kissing the warm skin over the neck of her t-shirt. Callie squirmed one arm under her and curled the other over, pulling her in closer. “I'm _so_ sorry,” she whispered again, kissing blonde hair.

“Shh,” Arizona hushed her again. “It's okay.”

“Anything that has us sleeping apart is _not_ okay,” Callie declared, shaking her head and breathing deep. “I missed you.” And she'd dozed but been completely unable to fall asleep and had spent the night alternately checking on Sofia and Arizona every time she'd woken up. Arizona had been tossing and turning each time.

“I missed you too,” Arizona sighed. “And we have to talk, I know, but you just feel so good.” She smiled, lips against Callie's collarbone. “It gets cold down here at night.” She dropped a kiss. “Thank you for the extra blanket, Calliope.”

Callie sighed. She was the jerk who'd made her wife uncomfortable sharing a bed with her. The least she could do was make sure she stayed warm through the night. “Anything for you.” She trailed one hand up and down the blonde's back under the blanket they were sharing. “You're okay, right? Here, like this, with me?” she checked, whispering.

Arizona's fingers tightened in her shirt. “Don't be stupid. There is no one else I would be comfortable being like this with. I love you. And I want you, I do, I just...” Callie waited for the rest, her touch moving up to stroke through fair hair. “I don't feel like myself lately. And I know that sex-”

“Honey, stop,” interjected Callie, tone still soft. “I understand that you don't feel like yourself. I get that. But you need to know that through all of this, you have never been anything less that the wonderful, amazing, _awesome_ , woman that I love, that I'm going to spend the rest of my life with, that I'm raising our wonderful, amazing, _awesome_ daughter with.” She made a decision and her voice strengthened, getting louder. “So we're going to take things slow,” she decided. “Until you feel like yourself again, I'm going to woo you.”

Arizona's expression was adorably bewildered as she leaned her head back to get a glimpse of her wife's face. “Wha-take things slow? _Woo_? We're married, sweetheart,” she reminded her partner, though a dimple was starting to show on her cheek, Arizona wholly unable to help smiling. She was married to the perfect woman.

Callie smiled back at her, thumb brushing lightly over her cheek. “Yes, _woo_. Because you are the most important person in the world to me, and if it takes time for you to feel comfortable, I will take the time to show you how much I love you.” Arizona blinked and Callie leaned in but didn't kiss her. She wouldn't make any moves without Arizona clearly signaling her that she could.

So when Arizona’s mouth dropped open, tongue peeking out to wet her lips, Callie slipped in, the kiss soft and slow. Arizona sucked in a breath through her nose and dragged her hand through dark hair. Callie was warm, and soft, and just - “ _Perfect_.” Callie smiled into the kiss at her sigh but didn't push anything, kissing her but not moving anything forward, just reacting to how Arizona kissed her.

And when the kiss ended she didn't protest, just breathed deeply and smiled. “That was okay?”

Arizona pressed their foreheads together, licking her lips again. “Okay, here's the deal.” Callie looked suddenly apprehensive. “Woo away, but if you ever ask me again if you kissing me is okay, I’m going to kick your butt,” she warned her, looking at her through her lashes.

“Got it,” Callie agreed, smiling. Her hand slid up and down Arizona's side. “Okay, so I won't do that, but I want to take you out.”

Smiling, Arizona deliberately tangled her legs through her wife's. “So, the point of your plan, if I'm getting this right, is for you to be sweet to me?”

“Extra sweet,” Callie clarified. “Because you are everything to me, Arizona. So I want to show you that making sure you feel good, that you're okay, isn't about the sex.” A blonde eyebrow arched. “Not _just_ about the sex,” the brunette added, smirking. “It's because I love you.”

Arizona sighed and kissed her jaw. “I love you too. Can we talk about last night?” she asked, smile fading slowly.

“Of course. I am _so_ -”

“Not that.” Arizona shifted down so that she could put her head on Callie's chest, her wife's arms moving to hold her close in the new position. “Addison's pregnant.”

Callie blinked over Arizona's head, not expecting the topic. “Oh. I mean, that's great, right? She's wanted a kid forever, hasn't she? I didn't – who's she dating though?” And was Arizona freshly devastated because her friend was pregnant and she wasn't?

“Alex is the father, actually, but I don't know that dating is the right word,” Arizona said, leaning her head back slowly to peek up at Callie's face when she didn't hear a reaction. The brunette looked stunned, her mouth hanging open. “That was pretty much me,” she agreed, snuggling back in again and wrapping an arm more firmly around her middle.

“Are you okay?” Callie asked, whispering. Because she kind of hated the universe's timing herself.

“I'm better now, with you here,” answered Arizona honestly. “Alex and I went out after our surgery last night.”

Callie smiled down at her. “What did you tell him to do?” She was curious – Arizona hadn't wanted kids and yet here they were.

“I told him -” She was interrupted by the sound of Sofia's fast tread on the stairs. “I told him that sharing your life with someone you love is the best decision you can make. And that I don't have a single regret about our life,” she stated clearly. “Who you raise a baby with is a big deal. You can't do it with the wrong person.” Sofia spotted them on the sofa and clambered over the back to join them, her parents huffing as she landed squarely on them. No matter the changes that had been wreaked on their life lately, Callie was the perfect person for her and she knew it.

“How come I had to sleep upstairs?” Sofia demanded, grinning and sitting up on her knees. “Can we have oatmeal and eat it on the floor?!” she asked, growing excited about the possibilities provided by what appeared to be her parents camping in their living room. “I promise not to spill!”

With that she was off to the kitchen like a shot, Callie and Arizona exchanging smiles in her wake. “I've got it,” Callie said, tensing to move but carefully retucking the blanket around Arizona. “You'll keep it warm for me?”

Arizona smiled, catching her wrist before Callie could withdraw from where she was leaning over her. Sitting up on her elbows deliberately, Arizona leaned in and kissed her slowly. It was fresh air, sunlight, her morning coffee, all rolled up into one. Callie Torres still made her heart jump and pound, and she felt something like relief (but not exactly because she had no doubts about them, at all). “The wooing? You don't have to move _that_ slowly, Calliope,” she advised against her lips, sneaking one last quick kiss before she flopped back onto her pillow with a dimpled grin in place.

Seeing the smile she adored, Callie felt something like relief herself.


	14. Chapter 14

The quiet noises of their house welcomed Callie home after a late shift in the ER, the tired surgeon dropping her bag next to the door and starting up the stairs. It was dark on the ground floor, too late for either of her girls to still be awake. Sofia was sprawled all over her bed and twisted up in her sheets, Callie patiently untangling her and covering her daughter back up. She left her with a gentle kiss on the head, the little girl murmuring in her sleep. “I love you too, amor.”

Her own bedroom was dark but wasn't as quiet as Sofia's when she opened the door, Arizona thrashing and whining from the bed. Callie flipped the light on immediately and crossed the room as Arizona jerked again under the sheets. “No!”

Catching her arms, Callie tried to calm her gently with no luck. “Arizona, honey, it's me. Calm down. It's okay. Sweetie, wake up. It's just a dream. Arizona, I'm here, it's okay.” She kicked off her shoes and climbed into bed with her. Arizona reacted to her physical presence and collapsed into her, gasping as she woke with a start.

“Calliope?”

“I'm here, I've got you,” Callie promised, kissing her forehead lightly. “You okay?”

Arizona burrowed closer, forcing her breathing and heart rate to steady and slow down. “I've been having dreams about losing the baby,” she confessed breathlessly, closing her eyes when Callie sucked in a sharp breath over her head.

“Come here,” the brunette whispered, her hands gently guiding Arizona to stretch out on top of her, blonde head pillowing into her chest. Callie's heart was beating steadily under her ear and she focused on matching it. “That's it,” she coaxed, her hands trailing up and back across the fabric of Arizona's thin tank top. “Just breathe.”

Arizona could feel her body calming, relaxing into Callie. She sighed without lifting her head. “I think I'm better now.” Callie's hands didn't stop their slow exploration though, fingertips dragging from side to side under the bottom hem of her shirt to touch her skin.

“Why didn't you tell me it was about the baby?” Callie asked softly, looking down at the top of her head.

Sighing again, Arizona nestled closer. “Because you're sad too. And you think I can't see it, or you don't want to show it...”

“I'm not hiding anything from you,” Callie interjected.

“I know that. I just – I didn't want to make it worse for you.”

“You're a moron, you know that?”

Arizona picked up her head at that. “Excuse me?”

“You're a moron,” Callie repeated, her voice calm and clear. “Arizona, you're my wife. And the fact that I have had to remind you more than once that you, and how you feel, are important to me makes you a moron,” she declared.

The blonde pulled one arm across Callie's chest, resting her chin on her forearm and meeting her partner's dark eyes. “I'm a moron?”

“Kind of,” confirmed Callie, shrugging minutely. “But I love you anyway.” Her mouth pulled at the corners. “I thought we were past this, honey. I thought we were being honest with each other.”

“I wasn't hiding the dreams from you.”

“But you didn't tell me how you were feeling either,” Callie reminded her patiently. Her fingers made gentle circles against the blonde's side beneath her shirt.

Arizona sighed, breaking their gaze and resting her head on her arm. “You can understand how it's not something I like talking about, can't you?”

“Yes, of course I can. But if you're sad, you can let me know that. I only want to help you.” One hand slid up her back to cover the back of her head, fingers lacing through her hair and stroking gently. “We both lost the baby, sweetheart. And if you can't talk to me, maybe you should talk to someone...”

“I don't need therapy,” Arizona groused, her reaction not unexpected. The blonde had a stubborn streak a mile wide.

“You're having nightmares. It's not weakness to need help.”

“I have you, I don't need help,” she said stubbornly.

Callie sighed. “But you're not using me.” Arizona's head came up again. “You know what I mean. We don't talk about it, losing the baby, and you're having dreams and not telling me or letting me help you. And being around you and Sofia is the only time I really feel better. I would hope I do the same thing for you, but I don't know because we don't talk about it.”

“Of course you do, Calliope,” stated Arizona immediately. She huffed out a breath. “You and Sof are the reason I get out of bed in the morning. And I'm sorry if you think I'm not telling you things, but I don't mean to, I'm just trying not to make you sad...”

“We could be sad together,” Callie suggested, her own head lifting from the bed to look straight at her. “Do you know what I have nightmares about? What I'm most scared of?”

“Public speaking?” answered the other woman in an attempt at deflection.

“No – I mean, yes, I hate public speaking, but that's not my worst nightmare,” Callie said seriously. Arizona knew exactly what was coming and she held her breath without realizing it. “I dream about life without you, a life where you're just gone, and it's the worst -”

“Calliope...” Arizona sighed over her explanation. She didn't like the thought of not being with Callie and Sofia any more than Callie did.

“I'm scared too. And sad,” Callie said, graciously not extending her description of her own nightmare dream scape. “I'm here, Arizona. And I just want to be here for you. But you have to let me.”

And she thought it had sounded pretty good, but Arizona promptly pushed her hands off and slid off of her. “Can you turn the lights off and we'll get in bed and talk, or cry, or make out, or whatever you want?”

Callie was off the bed quickly, flipping the lights back off and changing clothes. Arizona rolled into her as soon as she slid back under the blankets. “I don't want to push you, I just want to know you're okay.”

Arizona nestled closer. “I'm going to do better about telling you when I'm sad,” she promised. “I'm sad tonight, Calliope. You were still at work and Sofia went to bed after that show about the dinosaurs, or whatever, and I was sad. But you're here now and you do make me feel better.” Callie kissed the top of her head. “And you're really good to lay on, by the way.”

It won her a stifled laugh from the other woman. “I'm glad you think so. You're not the first person to tell me that either.”

Blue eyes narrowed and she leaned her head back to get a glimpse of Callie's face in the dark. “And who else has _laid_ on you?” She knew Callie's history included a few women, but more men. And she wasn't an expert on the other gender, but she couldn't imagine having a man crushing her was all that comfortable. Of course, George O'Malley was a tiny little man...

“Oh, stop it.” Callie swatted her side, laughing again. She knew exactly what Arizona was thinking. “It was Sofia. You perve.” Her jealous little perve of a wife. Her hand caressed over where she'd just slapped, thumb making circles over the fabric of her shirt. “She says I'm comfy,” Callie declared proudly.

Arizona smiled, contentedly snuggling into her. “She's right, you are comfy.” Fingertips slipped under her shirt and she breathed deep but didn't tense up or draw away. Callie drew a heart onto her skin. The way this woman loved her was amazing. She pressed closer, Callie's palm sliding over her back to trace her spine. “How was the ER tonight?”

“It was alright. Kind of slow, not that I said it in there. Alex was there.”

“For a case?” Arizona let her own hand draw random patterns over Callie's chest.

“No, he was just kind of hanging out, I think. Which is weird.” Fingers wandered across her neck and her breath came shorter. “Is this the wrong time to ask about Addie and the baby? Has Alex figured out what he's going to do?”

“Not that he's told me,” Arizona answered with a sigh. “Addie seems excited though. She's wanted this forever.” She could feel her partner's throat move under her hand as Callie swallowed. _They'd_ wanted their baby too. She was determined not to let the grief let her not be happy for her friend though. “And that's going to be a cute kid.” Arizona couldn't help her breath hitching. Callie rubbed her back soothingly. Their kid would have been perfect, again. “I'm sad again, Calliope,” she whispered, burying her head and closing her eyes. And there was nothing Callie could say to make it better so she just held her.

Waking up the next morning Arizona found Callie wrapped around her protectively, the most perfect big spoon in the world. And the hand under her shirt was a pleasant surprise. It was only a moment before Callie was waking up as well, the hand sliding over her middle unconsciously. “Hey.” The husky moan in her ear made her insides tremble.

“Hey.” In opposition to how Callie's tone sounded, Arizona's voice was high and squeaky. She flushed with embarrassment. Callie's fingers curled against the underside of her breast before the still waking woman realized what she was doing. “Good mo- _or_ -ning!” Callie's hands were warm, almost scorching against her skin but her nipples tightened in spite of the warmth.

Callie hummed against her ear, nose nuzzling into her neck. The night before was coming back to her memory and she started to withdraw, not wanting to push the physical affection when she wasn't sure how Arizona was feeling this morning. A hand on the outside of the shirt stopped her from withdrawing, Arizona covering her hand with her own. “Arizona...”

“Calliope, touch me. Don't stop touching me,” Arizona requested hoarsely. She lifted her hand slowly, waiting and holding a breath until Callie moved her own hand up to cup a breast.

“God, you feel good,” moaned Callie, unable to help herself. Her face dropped into a pale neck and she mouthed her wife's skin. She wanted nothing more than to turn her over and keep her in their bed all day while she reacquainted herself with every inch of her lover's skin but she'd promised Arizona that they would go at her pace. So she would control herself, wouldn't push Arizona for anything.

But when the blonde turned her head up and caught her eye, kissing her was completely beyond Callie's control. She had to do it. Her hand slid further up to cover Arizona's left breast and she gasped, giving Callie's tongue an opening she's couldn't resist. Arizona answered the kiss though, so she forgot about overstepping for a moment and just enjoyed kissing the hell out of her woman. Her thumb rolled over a straining nipple and Arizona groaned against her mouth.

They broke for air and Callie couldn't help the grin on her face, relieved to see a matching expression on her wife's face. The dimples were back and her heart felt lighter than it had in months. “Good morning,” she said, licking her lips.

Callie's voice was still husky (sexy as hell, her mind reminded her), and Arizona combed one hand through unruly dark waves. “Calliope...” Callie's hand was still on her chest and she wondered if her partner could feel her heart suddenly pounding under her touch. “Keep kissing me.”

One eyebrow arched in question, her silent query answered when Arizona sucked her bottom lip between her teeth. Shifting against the sheets, Callie's free hand lifted the covers to slip closer. Her hand under Arizona's shirt pushed the flesh in her grip up and free of her shirt, quietly thanking every mercy for her wife's affinity for stealing clothes from people who were bigger than her to sleep in. They looked so damn good on her (and off her on their floor). Right now it meant that she was free to orally explore her chest without having to bother with sitting her up to strip the shirt off of her. Of course, topless Arizona was better, but she had her priories at the moment.

Her mouth closed around Arizona's nipple and her hand wandered to attend to the other while she thrived in the feel of her lover under her hands, against her tongue, breathless panting and moaning in her ear. “Calliope, please...”

Arizona wasn't sure what she was pleading for but she trusted Callie to know what she needed. She let her own hands wander through dark hair, down her neck and back, between them to drag under Callie's shirt. Arizona smiled when the action got a gasp in response. The breath against her chest made her jump as well.

And then, with her impeccable timing, Sofia brought it all to a sudden stop as the sound of her slow steps in the hall registered with her mothers. Callie kept her head in place, both of them holding their breath as they waiting to see which way the little girl would turn, toward the bathroom or their bedroom door.

The knob twitched and Callie moved to cover Arizona from view while the blonde hurriedly got herself back into her clothes. Their faces close together, they exchanged breathless grins, Callie stealing a final quick kiss when Arizona was stuffed back into her top and flopping onto her other side just in time to catch Sofia as she vaulted into their bed.

“Good morning, princess,” Arizona greeted her. “Someone's up _early_!” Callie grinned at her over their daughter's head as Sofia crawled to lay between them. “ _So_ early.”

Sofia gave them both a grin that matched Arizona's and Callie felt her heart jump. “I heard laughing. What's funny?” She looked around as though she'd be able to spot something amusing in their room. Her moms didn't even have a TV in their room though, so she couldn't imagine what it could be.

Their eyes met again and Arizona couldn't help her breathless laughter escaping. “Mami's fun, that's all,” she tried to cover. “You know that. What woke you up? Did you sleep okay?”

Sofia nodded, her favorite giraffe hugged in her arms. “Yeah. Slept good. Can we have eggs and bacon for breakfast? Me and Stretch are hungry.”

“You are? We can't have that, can we?” Arizona leaned over to kiss her head. “And I think Mami would be perfectly happy to make that this morning, right, Mami?”

“And what are you so busy with?” Callie asked with an arched eyebrow and small grin.

A blush tinged her wife's cheeks. “I – Mama needs to take a shower,” Arizona said pointedly, making Callie's smile drop away to be replaced with her own blush.

“Oh, right, okay...” Callie's smug, pleased grin was growing again slowly with every word she said. “Yeah, you should... do that then.”

Arizona bit her lip to keep from laughing. Callie was just so cute when she was proud of herself. And she should be proud of herself. Because they'd barely gotten anywhere and she felt like she was on fire. “You two go and I'll be down in a few minutes, okay?”

“Okay,” Sofia answered, oblivious to her parents' teasing. “Come on, Mami! Breakfast!” She had her own priorities, clearly.

Callie was a bit more distracted by the thought of her wife in the shower, leaning over to kiss her once more while their daughter pulled impatiently on her hand. “Just one more, mmh.” Arizona cupped her cheek, catching her bottom lip between her teeth and making Callie ache to join her partner in the shower.

She tore herself away when Sofia whined, “Hungry, Mami!”

“That's not how we ask for things in this family, Sofia Michelle,” Arizona reminded her, one hand pushing back against Callie's chest. They couldn't go further right now and she _really_ needed that shower now.

“ _Please_ , Mama, stop kissing Mami so she can make us bacon?” Sofia requested.

Figuring that was the best they'd be able to get, Callie stood up with a laugh. “Okay, I'm coming. Keep your pants on.” Over her shoulder she mouthed, “Not you,” and wiggled one finger at Arizona as she let herself be dragged out.

The shower was refreshing, giving Arizona time to calm her body down, though she was entirely unable to wipe the smile off of her face any time she thought of her wife. It finally felt like she was starting to turn a corner, free – even encouraged – to tell Callie when she couldn't be her usual perky self and it made it easier to be okay too. She didn't have to feel guilty for letting herself be happy.

And Callie was amazing, giving and patient and loving. Her perfect partner.

The grin on Arizona's face as she joined them in the kitchen lit up Callie’s whole world. “Good shower?” she asked, arching a teasing brow in a silent question.

“Not how you mean,” Arizona murmured, meeting her at the corner of the table and leaning in for a slow kiss. “But yes, it was nice.”

Callie smirked, able to read the promise in the quirk of her wife's mouth. “Well, have a seat,” she prompted, slapping one hand lightly to Arizona's ass. “I'll have yours on the table in a second.”

Her phone rang as she was sitting and Arizona answered it, pinning the phone between her jaw and shoulder. “What's up, Alex?” He didn't say anything for a moment and she repeated his name. “You there, Karev?”

“Can I – I need a favor, boss.” He sounded confused, uncertain. “What are you doing tonight?”

Callie brought her plate to the table and Arizona hooked two fingers in the collar of her shirt to keep her from withdrawing. “Do we have anything tonight, Calliope?”

“No. Not that I know of. You got a hot date?” she asked, teasing. Arizona grinned and Callie couldn't help stepping behind her chair to hug the top of her chest.

“Actually, yes, you do,” Alex said, prompting a frown from Arizona. “What I mean is, you two should go out. And I'll watch Sofia for you.”

“You want to babysit?” Arizona looked up at Callie in confusion, getting a frown in response. Sofia grinned though, nodding eagerly. She loved Alex, he was fun. “Why?” Arizona asked warily, as if he was trying to trick her somehow. “What's your angle, Karev?”

“I can't want to spend some time with my girl?” he countered.

“Which girl?” Callie chimed in. Because the way she figured it, Alex Karev would only ask to babysit if he had a very good reason. And given his current life issues, babysitting felt like it could only be 'dad practice.'

“Sof gives good advice,” Alex groused defensively. “She's good to talk to.” Arizona looked up at Callie, a stunned expression on her face. The brunette just shrugged, surprised herself. “Can I come over or what?”

“Sofia, baby, you want to-?”

“Yes! When's Uncle Alex coming over?” she asked eagerly.

Smirking, Arizona shook her head. “Not until after we get home after work, sweetie. That works for you, Karev?”

“Yeah, boss, thanks. I'll see you later.”

He hung up and Arizona dropped her phone lightly to the tabletop. “Well, I guess Alex's coming over tonight,” she commented.

“Which means I'm taking you out,” declared Callie. She leaned in. “Get ready to get your pants wooed off,” she murmured into her neck, kissing the skin before she straightened up and went back to the stove.

Arizona could only swallow hard. She was certainly hoping for that.

The rest of their day was less than cooperative, however. Her first patient of the day threw up on her, which was a minor annoyance, made insignificant by her next patent coding on the table in the ER before she'd even gotten off the elevator. She didn't even know this kid's name and she had to go tell her parents that their daughter was dead. Their anguish hurt to watch, bringing up her own pain and grief. She'd been having a good day too. Leaving the waiting room, she reminded herself that most of the time she worked miracles with the kids in her Peds ward. And losing a kid hurt – it had to or she shouldn't be doing this job – but she refused to let every little reminder destroy her over and over again.

Intern Morgan's infant son was getting progressively worse and she checked on his latest test results when she got back to Peds from the ER. The whole time they'd been treating little Tommy she'd been halfway expecting Alex to find a reason to get taken off the case but he'd stuck with it, working endlessly at her side to keep the tiny human alive. Their efforts were bearing less and less results though, and she feared that she would soon be teaching Morgan a painful lesson about allowing natural death – when further surgery and procedures would only extend their patient's pain and suffering.

Unable to resist after leaving the NICU she gave herself fifteen minutes of self-pity in an on-call room and forced herself back to work. Callie could surely see the traces of tears on her features but said nothing when they met in the cafeteria for lunch, pulling a chair out for her and rubbing her knee under the table when Arizona took her seat.

Callie didn't just waste her time eating, wracking her brain for a way to show Arizona the joy. They were surgeons, every one of them had moments of doubt about themselves when cases went wrong. And Arizona's personal grief was thrown back in her face on an almost daily basis at their profession. Arizona smiled and it was real enough that she didn't worry. She'd basked in the glow of the dimples this morning though, and close enough wasn't going to cut it this time.

When they finished their meal Callie led her out of the cafeteria with a hand on the small of her back under her lab coat. “Come with me.”

Arizona didn't say anything when they got back to her floor, Callie leading her to the nursery and planting them in front of the windows that gave new parents a view of their babies. “Why are we here, Calliope?” she asked, sighing heavily as she looked at the healthy infants.

Callie sidestepped behind her, arms wrapping around her waist and chin coming to rest on her shoulder. “Do you remember when Sofia was that small?” she asked instead, voice a quiet murmur.

“She was so cute,” Arizona sighed, leaning back into Callie. “She's perfect, you know?”

“I do know,” agreed Callie with a smile, dropping her face to kiss the top of Arizona's shoulder through her coat and scrubs. “She gets it from her Mama.” Arizona's arms covered her own at her waist and rubbed at her forearms where Callie had her sleeves rolled up.

“Her Mami's pretty damn perfect from where I'm standing,” declared the blonde, fingers lightly stroking her partner's skin. “Was she really ever this small?” she asked after a moment, a small smile breaking out when one of the babies wriggled and smiled at her from their carrier. It felt like only yesterday that Sofia had been in the nursery, Callie in a set of pajamas while they'd stood here and watched over their baby girl.

“Yeah, it was a week ago or so, I think,” Callie said with a laugh. Time went so fast now. They'd had a baby only yesterday and now they had a precocious, hyper, adorable little four year old. And it had been months now since they'd lost the baby. Sometimes it still hurt like it had been minutes since she'd learned the outcome of Arizona's surgery, not weeks. “Now she's our little force of nature.”

Arizona chuckled, leaning her head against Callie's. “Still perfect though.”

“This isn't working, is it? I brought you up here to look at the cute babies, to make you feel better, and -”

“Sofia works,” Arizona interjected softly. “You work. I'm okay now. I wasn't but I am now. And I'm all for talking about our little girl because she's a wonderful angel, but does it feel like all we do anymore is have heavy, emotional conversations?” she asked, tone getting lighter. “I'm glad we talk, don't get me wrong, but maybe we could do something else tonight?”

Callie smiled, turning into her neck and inhaling. “I can handle that,” she promised, kissing the soft skin lightly. “Leave it to me, honey.” Arizona's head fell sideways and she kissed her again. “I am so in love with you.”

Humming, Arizona leaned into her. “That's the kind of talk I like.”

Callie could think of infinite sweet things to say about her partner, could stand in this spot for hours and regale her but the entrance of new parents stopped her. They were still at work, had to be professional. She could sing Arizona's praises at home later. Callie reluctantly withdrew from their embrace to stand beside her. Arizona hooked their fingers together for a quick squeeze of understanding.

A beep from the pager at her waist drew a sigh. “I've got to go. The Chief wants to see me down on two.”

Callie kissed her cheek. “I'll find you later. You and me – date tonight.” Her lips brushed the blonde's ear and her voice dropped so that only her wife could hear her. “And when we get home maybe we'll take a bath?” Arizona's eyes fell closed and she swallowed, head nodding. Callie kissed her cheek again. “Okay. Love you,” she repeated, stepping back.

“Love you too,” Arizona echoed. She meant what she'd told Callie, she felt better now.


	15. Chapter 15

Following her day's pattern of ups and downs, Arizona was greeted at the second floor desk by not only the Chief of Surgery, but by a noticeably pregnant Addison Montgomery. “Addison? You're here? Wha-?” She was glad to see her friend, relieved by the turn her day had taken.

“Dr. Montgomery has finally shown some interest in coming out of private practice and you're here to give her the red carpet tour and then get her up to my office to sign her contract,” Webber directed her, clapping one hand to Arizona’s shoulder.

Not sure if he knew exactly what he'd just assigned her (walking and talking with a good friend), Arizona nodded dutifully, biting the inside of her cheek to keep from smiling. “Yes, sir. Happy to help.” Waiting until he turned the corner, Addison threw her arms open and hugged her. “What are you doing here? And a job? Are you just teasing the Chief?”

“Alex didn't tell you?”

Arizona scoffed, eyes rolling. “You're leaving it to _Alex_ to tell me stuff? Come on! What's going on?”

“We're giving it a shot,” Addison answered, one hand lightly rubbing the top of her rounded belly. It made something in Arizona's chest ache but that feeling was washed away under the genuine happiness she felt for her friend. The redhead laughed and she was glowing. “And I'm not joking with Dr. Webber. Alex and I talked and we don't want to do this long distance. And the Peds department here is one of the best in the country,” Arizona grinned proudly, “so he's not going to get a better job in L.A. Plus you and Callie are here, and Sofia can have a new little cousin.”

Grinning, Arizona bounced on her toes. “Yay!” She hooked an arm through Addison's and they started walking. “Are you getting a house or an apartment? And is Alex moving in with you, or -? Because I've lived with him and he can be kind of messy, but he fixes things, but if you're still looking for a place I would suggest not staying with him in the mean time because his roommates are _really_ annoying...”

Chatting the whole time, they wandered the Pediatrics wing and NICU and back toward the Chief's office. “So, I'll see you tonight?” asked Arizona as she started to leave.

“Tonight? Why?” Addison was confused, frowning as she straightened her necklace before she entered Dr. Webber's office.

“Karev's babysitting for us. And you're here. I just kind of assumed you'd be joining him.”

One auburn eyebrow rose slowly. “Seriously?” Arizona grinned. Addison was already fitting in here. “He's babysitting?”

“Not only that – he _offered_!” she said, the redhead gaping at her in disbelief. “Called me this morning and told me to go out with Callie.”

Addison blinked, watching Arizona's expression soften at the mention of her wife. “Well, maybe I'll stop by then and surprise him. If that's okay with you.”

Nodding, Arizona smirked. “Just don't do anything in front of my kid and we'll be fine. And don't let her trick Alex into thinking bed time is later than it is.”

“I think he can handle her,” Arizona didn't look so sure, “but I'll be sure to make it happen.” She rapped her knuckles lightly against the door. “You just have a good time. You two deserve a good night.” Arizona's smile was immediate and real. She hadn't felt free to have a good night in a long time. She wanted that back. Addison hugged her lightly. “I'll see you later.”

“Good luck,” Arizona said. “Give this woman a job, Chief,” she directed through the open door.

Callie was in the attendings' locker room when Arizona came in to change, the brunette clearly surprised by the kiss her wife laid on her. “What was _that_ about?” Callie asked breathlessly when Arizona swept away to her locker.

“I had a good day,” answered Arizona as she tugged her scrub top up and over her head.

Callie sent her a surprised look over her shoulder that went unseen by her occupied partner. “Really?” she couldn't help asking. “I mean, that's great. I'm glad.” Arizona shimmied her hips as she pulled her jeans up and Callie couldn't tear her eyes away. “Um...” She had been about to say something, she was sure of it. The sight of Arizona's skin retreating behind clothing had thoroughly driven thought from her head. At least thoughts involving words. She had thousands of images, sensations, desires streaming through her mind currently.

Arizona turned, still closing her pants, and smirked as Callie jumped, brown eyes snapping back up to her face. “So, what are we doing tonight?”

Callie had to swallow, her mouth was completely dry. “Uh,” she licked her lips, “I was thinking dinner, maybe some dancing, little bit of second base when we get home?”

Arizona finished with her jeans and belt and stepped forward. Callie's breath caught but the blonde only sat down on the bench to change shoes. “I think you can count on rounding the bases when we get home,” she said, voice amused, pleased, smug. And more like herself than she'd sounded in ages. It made Callie smile, hearing that tone in her partner's voice again.

“We'll just see how it goes, alright?” Today might have been a good day, but she'd promised that she would show Arizona how much she meant to her. And that meant she wouldn't just jump on her wife but be considerate, loving, anything she needed.

Sofia was hyper when they got home, eager for her Uncle Alex to get there and hang out with her. It gave her parents time to go upstairs and get ready for their night out while she tore around finding all of her favorite games to play with Alex. 

The way Callie had been looking at her since the locker room made Arizona confident that she didn't need to change her clothes to keep her wife's attention so she just went into the bathroom to touch up her makeup. Callie was slipping into her favorite midnight blue dress when she came back into the bedroom and Arizona stepped up behind her to pull the zip up. “You look incredible,” she murmured, kissing the smooth skin of a shoulder in front of her face.

“Arizona, it's all you,” Callie countered, turning to face her. “You're – I'm going to have to stay on my toes tonight to keep up with you.”

The blonde just scoffed. She didn't care whose attention she got as long as she had Callie's eyes on her. “Come on, sweet talker. We're going out.”

Alex's car was audibly rumbling into the driveway as they reached the first floor, though neither of them bothered to open the door for him. He would just let himself in. “Sofia, Uncle A's here!” Callie called, hearing the stomping slap of her daughter's footsteps tearing toward them.

“We're going to go, sweetie, but you and Unk have fun, okay?” Arizona told her, grinning down at their little firecracker as she slid to a practiced stop in front of them.

“Okay. You too!” She was hopping excitedly.

“But listen and do what he tells you to do, you got it?” Callie directed, turning when the door opened behind her to admit Alex. “And you, bedtime is nine, no later, you got it?”

The pair exchanged silent glances and answered in unison, “We got it.”

Her protege and daughter being all kinds of adorable made Arizona grin. “Come on, gorgeous. I'm hungry.” Holding her hand out, Arizona led Callie outside.

Callie smirked when Arizona got the door for her and rounded the front of the car to take her usual seat behind the wheel. “You don't even know where we're going,” she reminded her partner with a laugh.

“You'll tell me,” Arizona reasoned, grinning back across the car at her. “It's not like tonight is a surprise or anything.” It kind of felt like one though. She'd had a rocky day (to say the least) but she felt undeniably happy – more and more like herself again.

“Well, tonight was kind of last minute, so it's not like I made reservations anywhere, so if you want to pick...”

“Yay!” Arizona enthused, turning to look over her shoulder as she backed them down the driveway.

Over dinner she related the news that Addison would be joining the staff at the hospital and moving to Seattle, as well as taking a shot at a relationship with Alex. Dessert was a shared piece of cheesecake, Callie watching her partner suck the creamy cake off the fork with a smile. “What?” asked Arizona, ducking her head and covering her mouth with her free hand. “You're looking at me weird.”

“I'm just looking at you,” Callie sighed, shrugging and poking up a bite with her own fork. “You're – I just like looking at you. You look happy. It looks good on you. _You_ look good.” She blushed when Arizona smiled at her.

“No, don't stop,” the blonde teased lightly. “I like this.”

“I bet you do, smart ass.”

It earned her a peal of joyous laughter. Arizona lit up when she laughed, when she smiled. And that lit up Callie's world. “So we're back to that. What happened to all the sweet stuff?” Arizona asked lightly, taking another bite of cake and leaving a speck of her dessert clinging to her lip.

Callie couldn't resist reaching forward to swipe it from her mouth with her thumb, sucking the sugar onto her tongue. “I like making you blush. You're cute when you blush for me.”

Arizona's cheeks were tinged but she smirked. “Keep this up and I think you'll be able to see more blushing in a little while. As long as I can see some too,” she playfully bargained.

“I think that can be arranged,” Callie said, leaning forward again so that their lips were almost touching. Brown eyes searched blue and she waited for a response from her partner. She needn't have hesitated though, Arizona shifting forward to meet her lips for a soft, short kiss. She wanted more but they were still in the restaurant, still in the middle of their night out. And she didn't really want them to get kicked out of here – that would put a real damper on the evening. “You want to dance?”

Arizona smiled, darting her head to peck her wife's cheek. “I would love to dance with you, Calliope.”

The first two songs were fast and they stayed close in the press of other patrons. At the first slow one Arizona looped her arms around Callie's neck and let her lead. “Good night?”

“I'm out with you, aren't I?” Arizona countered lightly. “Thank you for all of this. It's just what I needed.” She smiled when a hand trailed down her back. “I know I've been in a funk lately, but you've been so good, and so patient, and I just don't know how I could love you any more, but I wake up every day and I do.”

Callie's mouth quirked and she wrapped her hand around Arizona's to guide them both to her chest. “Who's the sweet talker now?” The fingers of Arizona's free hand played at the back of her neck. “I'm glad you're having a good night though. It's good to get out and relax sometimes, huh?”

“Definitely,” Arizona agreed, moving her head to rest against her wife's other shoulder, arm wrapping up her back. “Nice, quiet night.”

Callie's breath on her ear sent a rush of sensation down her back but the brunette didn't say anything, swaying with her and breathing (very distractingly) against her hair. Arizona just closed her eyes and leaned into her wife, enjoying their dance. The soft movement of her hair, the subtle warmth of Callie's exhalations on her ear, it was all doing things to her but they were controllable until the song changed and Callie started to hum. It wasn't loud, scarcely even audible if she wasn't pressed so close to the other woman, but it was enough to send her need to a level completely beyond her control.

Callie's humming stopped when Arizona groaned into her shoulder. “What's wrong? Did I step on your foot?”

“No,” Arizona answered without lifting her head. “I just – are you going to be hurt if I say we need to go?” Even as she spoke she moved in closer and breathed deep. “I want to spend the rest of the night in your arms, don't get me wrong,” she whispered. “But not here. Take me home, Calliope.”

Warm lips kissed her brow. “Anything you want,” promised Callie, squeezing the hand she was holding lightly and using it to guide Arizona off the floor and back to their table to pay the bill and collect their things.

Outside a warm drizzle had started and Arizona looked up at the sky while they waited on their car at the valet station. She couldn't see much of the stars through the streetlights but the rain was flashing as it fell through the beam. Warmth covered her shoulders suddenly and she realized that her shirt was damp and sticking to her skin. Callie's leather jacket was warm, the satin lining slick against the rain on her skin, and arms wrapped around her from behind to help hold it closed. Arizona released a shaky breath and leaned back on her heels into the embrace. “When you woo a girl you don't hold back, do you?” she asked, her voice low. When she turned her head she could see Callie's profile, the smile on her lips just melting her.

“Only if it's you,” Callie answered and ducked her head to kiss a pale neck. “And you're not a great patient when you're sick, so...” A hand swatted her arm. “And you look hot as hell in my clothes,” Callie added in a gravely tone, breathing the words into her skin and nudging her nose against suddenly flushed flesh.

Arizona breathed deep and tried not to blush when the valet pulled up with their car and handed over their keys. She held the door for Callie and smirked when she caught the blush on the young man's face as he watched Callie straighten the hem of her dress in her seat. “Good night,” she told him pointedly, shoving a (diminished) tip into his hand. People who looked at her wife's thighs didn't get more than two bucks.

“Night, ma'am.” His voice squeaked and she grinned as she rounded the car.

Callie was quiet as Arizona started the car, smiling to herself and reaching across the vehicle to cover her wife's knee with one hand. The drive was almost silent, shy glances exchanged, and smiles, and Callie's thumb rubbing slow, soft circles on Arizona's leg.

Opening their front door was less peaceful, the unmistakable sound of Sofia shrieking making her mothers move quickly into the house. “Hey!” Arizona called as she took the stairs two at a time. “Sofia! Alex!”

“Mama!” Sofia met them at the top of the stairs, throwing herself into her mother's arms and burying her face in the blonde's neck. Quick hands ran over the little girl's back, down her arms and legs to ensure that she was uninjured, which it appeared she was.

Callie was right behind her and stroked Sofia's hair softly as Arizona rocked her. “What's wrong, angel?” Sofia should have been in bed by now. And where the hell was Alex? “Karev?” she called.

Hearing him moving in the bedroom, Arizona rubbed Sofia's back and walked her toward her room. Alex was sheepish on the other side of the door. “What'd you do to my kid, Alex?” Arizona demanded shortly, holding Sofia protectively to her side. Callie's hand moved to rub the little girl's back.

“Scary story,” Sofia whimpered, pouting pitifully at her uncle from Arizona's arms.

Sighing, Callie relaxed. That wasn't great, but it wasn't a physical injury, or anything permanent. Because if Alex Karev let her baby girl bleed, she'd make him bleed. “It's okay. We're here now. And Uncle Alex didn't mean it, right, Alex?”

“Of course not, Sof,” Alex jumped in. “It's just made up. I'm sorry I scared you though, okay?” He approached cautiously, leaning down to try a smile. “I would never let any dumb monster get you, you know?” She sniffled, leaning her head against Arizona's shoulder. “I'm sorry, bud. You know you're my girl.” Sofia glanced at Callie and Arizona before she peeked at Alex. “I love you.” Arizona couldn't help smiling, even if she was annoyed at him, it was undeniably cute to seem him seeking forgiveness from a four year old.

“Love you too,” Sofia mumbled finally, body slumping into Arizona's. “Mama...”

Knowing what the little girl was whining about, Arizona nodded, leaning over so Callie could kiss their little girl's hair. “Okay, sweetie, let's get you in bed, okay? Say night-night to Mami and Uncle A,” she directed, kissing her herself. Steps on the stairs made them turn to see Addison behind them with a mug in her hands.

“Hey,” she greeted them sheepishly. “It's cocoa.”

Arizona nodded, nuzzling Sofia's head gently. “Isn't that nice of Aunt Addie to bring you cocoa? What do you say?”

“Thank you,” Sofia mumbled, both hands taking the cup carefully. “Night, night.”

“How about we go get cozy in your bed and you can drink that?” Arizona suggested softly into her ear, smiling at Addison in silent apology. Her friend waved it off, dragging her fingers across Sofia's arm as Arizona walked past. She could hear Callie seeing their friends out (as well as giving Alex an earful) while she carried Sofia back to bed and got her situated with her mug. She couldn't go further than arm's length though, the little girl holding onto her. “It's okay,” Arizona promised. “I'm going to stay until you fall asleep. I'm not going anywhere.”

She climbed carefully into the bed and leaned back against the headboard, Sofia snuggling back against her side while both hands cradled her drink. Arizona could hear her slurping her cocoa and smiled, combing gentle fingers through dark curls. The slurping gradually slowed and she took the cup before it could cause a cocoa related mishap, setting it aside on the nightstand. Sofia breathed deeply and turned over to clamber onto Arizona, stretching out across her contentedly and closing her eyes.

And no matter that she'd been eager to get home and get in bed with Callie, there was nothing like holding her daughter. “Love you, Mama,” sighed Sofia, settling in.

“I love you too. Go to sleep and I'll be right here,” Arizona whispered, rubbing her back lightly.

Her arm was numb under the limp, growing heavier by the minute, weight of her little girl when she heard Callie coming back up the stairs an indeterminate amount of time later. She didn't count the minutes she spent with either of her girls, only the time she had to spend away from them. Callie opened the bedroom door, leaning in the doorway and smiling at them. She'd taken her heels off and let her hair down but was still wearing her dress. She looked stunning, utterly sexy. “She's asleep?”

“For a little while now,” Arizona confirmed, whispering. “I just can't leave her yet. She's so sweet and cute and perfect, you know?”

Callie nodded, hair falling in her face and making Arizona's heart jump. “You both are,” Callie agreed, leaving her post by the door and sliding onto the other side of the bed. “Can't blame her. You're good to sleep with.”

“Look who's talking.” Callie's arm wrapped over them both and she snuggled her head into the pillow next to Arizona’s shoulder.

“Hey, you know, we can go to bed,” the blonde whispered, not wanting to ruin Callie's plan for the night.

Callie didn't even open her eyes. “I'm with you, so I'm good here,” she murmured easily.

“We're both going to fall asleep in here, aren't we?” Arizona asked hypothetically, already shifting down and sliding Sofia off of her to lay between them.

“Probably,” Callie agreed. “Best way to wake up though.”

“Absolutely.”

However, the reality of sleeping with a four year old (particularly one that moved and sprawled and kicked as much as Sofia Robbins-Torres did) was that neither of her parents could get much sleep between being jerked awake by a stray sharp elbow or solid foot.

“Are you awake?” Callie whispered to the ceiling after the fourth time her daughter's (cute, perfect, but still pointy and sharp like a mother!) elbow caught her across the face and made her gasp.

“Oh, thank God,” Arizona gasped, fending off a knee with one hand. “She is surprisingly sharp, isn't she? You move around a lot but you're not all pointy like this. Am I this sharp?”

Callie stifled a laugh, one hand finding her wife's shoulder. “No. You're soft-”

“Hey!” the blonde protested in a hushed tone.

“Warm, smooth, you smell good, everything good.” Arizona smiled, satisfied with the description. “And you have fantastic boobs,” added Callie smugly.

“Hey!”

Callie laughed, covering it with a hand. “She's asleep. I can talk about your boobs all I want.”

Sofia flopped over and caught Callie in the ribs with a knee, making her lose her breath in a huff. “How about we just go to our bed now?” Arizona suggested. “Sofia's asleep and if I get any more bruises it's going to look suspicious.”

“Well, I can't have a reputation as a wife beater, can I?” Arizona's bark of laughter was loud and she slapped both hands over her mouth. “Come on,” Callie urged her in a much softer tone, both of them watching for Sofia to move and breathing deeply when she didn't make a sound. “Let's go to bed.”

Tiptoeing to the hall, Arizona pulled the door closed behind them and turned to see Callie smiling sleepily at her. “We're almost there,” she coaxed, finding a handful of her wife's dress and tugging her lightly along with her. “Big bed, the good sheets, little to no kicking,” Callie laughed, feet shuffling on the hall runner, “but no promises.”

“Good pillows too,” Callie teased, suggestion clear in her tone, in the raised brow she arched at Arizona. “Even with the bruises it was a pretty good date night, right?”

“Best date night,” confirmed Arizona, stifling an eager grin. “And Sofia definitely wasn’t how I planned on wearing you out tonight, but if you're too tired for me, Calliope...”

Callie was against her back at the next step, hands sliding down her sides and hips as they entered their own room. “Never. But I'm still not pushing for anything, sweetheart,” she promised. “I just want to spend time with you. Whatever we do is fine with me. Sleeping with you, _just_ sleeping, is perfect.”

Arizona turned, still holding a handful of Callie's dress, and walked them backwards toward the bed. “You're the best.”

“I know,” Callie said, smiling teasingly.

“And I only sleep with the best.” Arizona flopped ungracefully onto the mattress and settled into the pillow. Turning over, she found Callie at the foot of their bed, clearly waiting on a signal from her about her next move. A subtle twitch of an eyebrow, a curl of a smile, was all it took. Callie's head popped up right in front of her face and Arizona giggled, one hand sliding across her cheek as she leaned in to kiss her.

The contact stayed light, soft and slow, for only a few seconds, Arizona's lip falling open when Callie's tongue pushed forward, a moan escaping just as their tongues met. Callie's hands were braced on the sheets on either side of her partner's hips, Arizona's hands slipping to tickle the back of her neck. The blonde sucked on her tongue and Callie clambered up onto her knees, moving closer to her prone partner without disengaging their mouths.

Arizona could feel Callie's pulse picking up speed under her fingers and she leaned in further, the kiss breaking when hands tugged her top up and over her head. Callie didn't pull back, just kissed her again, both hands sliding everywhere – in blonde hair, across smooth skin, palms covering a slick blue satin bra. “You're wearing my favorite one,” Callie mumbled, Arizona's teeth on her bottom lip muffling her words.

“I was hoping you'd take it off for me,” teased Arizona, moaning when it earned her a tweaked nipple through the fabric covering her.

“I can handle that,” Callie husked. She could feel Arizona tightening under her touch, her lover's body responding to her proximity instinctively. “God, you feel good.” Her voice was scratchy with need. Arizona's head tipped to kiss her again, mouth blistering against her own. Slipping her hand under the cup of her wife's bra sent a moan humming against her tongue, Arizona's hips jumping against her middle.

Arizona felt like she was burning up, needing Callie's hands on her skin, everywhere. Her whole body was alive, buzzing, soaring with feeling and sensation. Still kissing her, Arizona pushed them forward suddenly, Callie falling onto her back so that Arizona fell against her, her body slotting between her partner's knees. Callie's hand was twisted between them and she slid it free of Arizona's bra and to the back, undoing it easily, even blinded under waves of blonde hair all around her.

“You have too many clothes on,” Arizona mumbled against her lips, breathing hard. Callie's hand was occupied tugging the now useless bra out from between them. “Fix it,” she continued even as she nipped her wife's lower lip. She loved Callie's lips – loved the way they tasted, the way they felt between her teeth, loved the way they moved on hers, the way they felt on her skin. The way they dragged when her lover whispered sweet words against her flesh. “Oh God!” Arizona whimpered, head falling forward so she could pant against Callie's chest. Callie willingly took up exploring the open real estate of her neck, dragging sucking kisses down the side of her throat. Trembling hands pushed at Callie's shoulders weakly, pulling on her dress. “Calliope, please,” she pleaded, her hips rolling against the leg that pushed between her thighs. Callie's dress had hiked up and her naked leg slid beneath Arizona's denim covered core.

It was too much temptation and Arizona pushed into the contact again. “God, baby,” Callie groaned under her, her body moving in an easy, slow counter rhythm. One of Arizona's hands released the sheets and dragged across her side, down her hip to tug her dress up further.

Arizona found scratchy lace under her fingertips as her hand moved down and she couldn't help herself, pushing it aside to seek scorching wetness. Callie groaned, her mouth finding a spot under Arizona's jaw and sucking on the skin as she deliberately bucked her leg up. Again unable to resist, Arizona rolled her hips down to meet the push, her fingers thrusting in shallowly at the same time.

“Yes,” Callie gasped, teeth dragging bluntly across fair skin. “Arizona...” The next stroke was deeper, Arizona gasping above her. Callie reached one hand up to follow the ridges and bumps of Arizona's spine under her bare skin, tracing her left hipbone and squeezing encouragingly. It spurred faster, deeper thrusts and Callie couldn't stop herself from flying over the edge. Arizona was right behind her though, shaking and gasping and finally collapsing flat on top of Callie. “Whoa,” the brunette panted, fingers lightly stroking the back of her partner's neck. “I – I -”

“I know,” agreed Arizona breathlessly. “I didn't – so fast -”

Chuckling hoarsely, Callie picked her head up enough to kiss blonde hair before she flopped back to the mattress. “We'll last longer next time.”

“Yeah, maybe,” Arizona said with her own laugh. “Hey.” She turned enough to catch Callie's eyes. “Love you.”

Another breathless laugh, magic to her ears. “I love you too.”

Arizona was quiet for a moment, both of them catching their breath. “So...” she started slowly. “This 'next time,' when might that be happening?”

She could only squeal when Callie ably flipped her, pressing her into the bed with a smile. “How about now?”


	16. Chapter 16

The tinkling of Sofia's fork on her plate was the perfect accompaniment to the eggs scrambling on the stove and Arizona turned to make sure that more of her daughter's food was staying on the plate than on the floor. “So, what did you and Uncle Alex do last night?” Because her night had been pretty damn perfect.

Sofia was busy trying to spear her next bite and answered without looking up from her plate. “Played Twister. It was funny. He fell over lots.”

“Yeah? I bet that was funny,” Arizona agreed with a smile. “And did you guys talk about anything?”

“He told me about my new baby cousin,” she answered, speaking around a mouthful. Arizona cleared her throat and Sofia gulped down her bite before she spoke again.

“And what do you think about that?” Arizona kept her tone mild though she was secretly curious how she would react to the news.

Sofia shrugged, still occupied with her breakfast. “It's okay as long as I can still play with Uncle A,” she decided.

“Of course you can,” Arizona assured her, smiling. “And after the baby comes you'll have a new buddy to play with.”

“Are we going to have another baby that's ours?” Sofia asked with her mouth full.

The question made something in Arizona's chest tighten but she took a breath and blinked before she responded. “I don't know, sweetie. Mami and I have to talk about it.” Her arms crossed her chest unconsciously. “Would that be something you'd like?”

Sofia looked up, a tiny piece of egg clinging to the corner of her mouth. “Maybe. Would you get sick again?”

Arizona squeezed her eyes closed, one hand rising to play with the heart pendant that she wore perpetually around her neck. “Not like that,” she promised, swallowing hard, her throat feeling thick. “Not like before.” Her eyes opened and she found Sofia watching her quietly from her seat at the table. “You know I could never do anything that would mean I wouldn't be here for you. I will always be here for you.”

Sofia nodded, not sure she understood the earnestness in her mother's words but sure she knew what that tone promised. “Mama?”

“Yes, baby?”

“Can I have more juice please?”

Arizona took a deep breath and smiled, head nodding. “Of course you can.” Wavy blonde hair fell in her face from her loose ponytail as she moved. She kissed dark curls as she poured the juice. Callie's entry drew her attention, a smile rising to her lips completely beyond her control. “Hey!” Her tone faded sharply when she noted her wife's customary long-sleeved t-shirt that meant she was heading in to work. “Aww, did you get paged?”

“It should just be a few hours,” Callie promised. “Are you off today?”

“No, I go in in a few hours.”

Fantastic. Date night had recovered nicely after getting sidetracked by Alex's bedtime story mishap but now they were on opposite schedules at work today. “Okay, well I'll see you for dinner?”

“We can meet in the cafeteria if you want,” suggested Arizona reluctantly, shoulders rising and falling in a shrug. She wasn't sure how much longer Morgan's baby could hang on, but she wanted to be there for the intern when the inevitable happened.

Callie sighed and stepped forward to put both hands on her wife's chest, leaning in for a quick, soft kiss. It would have to hold them over for now, there wasn't time for anything more. “You'll call me if you need me?” she checked, keeping her voice low. It had the inflection of a question but it wasn't and Arizona knew it.

“I will,” promised Arizona, sealing it with another soft kiss. “Go be awesome, Dr. Torres.”

“I love you.” Leaning over, she kissed Sofia's head. “You and Mama have fun this morning, okay? I'll be home as soon as I can.”

Overlapping schedules obliged them and running into Callie in the waiting room, both of them returning from speaking with patients' families, sent Arizona into an unexpected fit of giggles, Callie bumping her arm with an elbow.

"Goof," she said fondly. It seemed that at least Arizona's shift had started well.

"I can't be happy to see my wife?" Arizona countered with her own grin. "You have any time or do you have to get back?"

"What do you have in mind?" Callie arched an eyebrow, curious. She wasn't sure what to expect from her partner today.

Arizona leaned in, pressing against Callie's side. "On-call room?" She wasn't sure what she wanted exactly but she waited until Callie nodded before drawing in a breath. The brunette smiled and Arizona slipped her arm through her wife's as they walked, her pace unconsciously quickening. She was eager for... more, of anything. Callie had been patient, waiting on her, trying to make it perfect for her. But it didn't have to be more than the two of them to be perfect. They didn't need wine and candles and a romantic evening of buildup. All she needed was Callie. "You want to make me feel good?" 

And Callie knew her answer without hesitation. Anything Arizona wanted from her was hers without question.

The door of the on-call room shut behind them and Arizona closed her eyes and breathed deep as she flipped the lock. She turned and Callie was watching her from beside the bed. "Hey."

"We don't have to do anything," Callie stated softly. They'd made love the night before but Arizona was dealing with a lot of stuff at work with Morgan's dying baby. If she needed to talk, they would talk. The smile growing on her partner's lips kind of hinted that talking wasn't the first thing on her mind.

“I want you," Arizona countered, voice husky. "Calliope..." She moved forward and Callie's breath came short. "Kiss me."

It was all Callie needed, her hands diving through blonde hair while tongues dueled forcefully. Her body crowded Arizona back, their feet stumbling, and strong hands caught the backs of her thighs. Taking the nonverbal prompt, they were still kissing without pause, Arizona let her legs be hauled into position around her wife's hips. She lost her breath and broke the kiss when her back collided with the door. "I love you," Callie gasped against her lips, capturing her mouth again. Arizona was all around her and she couldn't get enough of her.

Arizona moaned, couldn't help herself. Because Callie was holding her against a door and her hips were pressing into her own and she couldn't believe that she had been holding this at arm's length. Because Callie, loving Callie, was part of her, and the only way either one of them was going to get better was together. And the feeling of her wife against her and moving was fucking _unbelievable_. Fingers slid through dark hair and gripped tight, her head rocking back against the solid surface behind her. Lips were on her skin immediately and she bucked, hips rolling against Callie's body between her legs.

The friction – there were no words for how Callie made her feel – but the other woman pulled away when she moaned again, Callie panting herself. “No,” she gasped, chest heaving with her deep breaths. “I'm not – we're not just going to screw against this door,” she declared. Arizona tried to gather the breath to protest but Callie only shifted her hands to higher on her legs, pulling her in tighter against herself and moving them the two steps to the bed. “We're at least doing this in a bed,” Callie said, her head popping up over Arizona's face. “I'll do this in the hospital, even if our bed is so much better than this, but this time at least, no sex against the door.” Arizona smiled, breathless and disheveled under her, and Callie wasn't sure she'd ever been more gorgeous. “I need to taste you, Arizona,” breathed Callie, eyes dark. “If you don't-”

It was Arizona's cue for her to buck her hips again, making Callie's eyes roll back in her head. “I want you to, Calliope,” she ground out, the hungry need rising out of her control again. “Anything you want, I want you to.” The only constraint they had was time, the fact that any moment could see her pager going off. Alex had wanted a night with Addison and she'd obliged by taking his overnight shift since he'd just done them a favor. But then he'd almost (unintentionally) kept her out from under Callie. If she didn't get laid now he was going to owe her more than the next weekend off. More like the next month of weekends off if she didn’t get to make Callie come.

“Get down there,” Arizona prompted, biting her lip. Not that she wanted to rush, but she was going to explode if Callie wasn't inside her in a minute. “Please,” she pleaded breathlessly.

Callie didn't need to hear more, sitting back on her knees and using both hands to yank her partner's shoes off, throwing them across the room and tucking her fingers in the waist of Arizona's scrubs, tugging them down and sending them after the wheeled sneakers. They both knew how to deal with the constraints of the on-call room bunks and Arizona shifted up while Callie moved down.

Arizona had to grip the bar at the head of the bed on either side of herself as Callie's head ducked between her legs, her body tense and tight as the sensations overwhelmed her. “Holy – _fuck_!” She would have sworn she could feel Callie's smirk against her center. Lips wrapped around her clit and Arizona couldn't hold back a loud noise of pleasure. She couldn't actually care about being heard, didn't care about anything but the tension building and boiling inside of her.

So when Callie's beautiful, glorious, _perfect_ mouth (that had been doing beautiful, glorious, _perfect_ things to her) lifted from her core to speak, the loss of sensation made her growl and whine, hips bucking and legs curling themselves over her partner's shoulders to ensure that she couldn't withdraw entirely. “I'm not going anywhere,” Callie promised, turning her head in to kiss the inside of her thigh, her hands smoothing back and forth across the outside of her legs. Her mouth lingered for a slow, sucking kiss, lightly marking the flesh she was mouthing. “I just don't want this to take thirty seconds,” confessed Callie, looking up Arizona's body and smiling devilishly. “You're already about to come.”

“So make me come,” pleaded Arizona, too turned on to care about sounding desperate. And she felt more than sure that Callie could coax more than one orgasm from her entirely willing and eager body.

“I will,” Callie said against her skin, audibly pleased. “But slow.” Two fingers pushed inside on the second word and Arizona's back arched, body tightening around the welcome penetration, legs pulling Callie in. “Patience,” the brunette murmured and kissed her leg again before alternating to the other thigh. The whole time her fingers kept their steady, slow, increasingly deep pace.

Arizona could feel her insides quaking as Callie built her up again slowly, scattering kisses between her legs, her stomach, her center. Callie was everywhere, stroking her insides and making her feel every sensation without pitching her over the edge. Only Callie could touch her this way, make her feel like this. And she was going to come but she needed to kiss her wife. “Calliope...” A gasp of her name was all it took, Callie rising up her body without disrupting her rhythm and taking her mouth. Callie's tongue in her mouth matched the plunges of her fingers in her center and Arizona couldn't help herself any longer, both hands catching the back of her partner's neck as her body stiffened, shuddered, and climaxed.

Callie helped her ride it out, kissing her neck when Arizona's mouth broke from hers to draw air more quickly than panting through her nose. Soft fingers stroking her hair drew her head up and Callie met blue eyes with a smirking smile. “You okay?”

Arizona looked blissful and flushed. “Thank you,” she sighed, slumping weakly into the bed only to groan and jerk when the bed's metal rail caught her back in a painful spot. Callie slid an arm under her back and helped shift her down the mattress. A ringing from her absent pants made her groan again, Callie stretching over her to reach for the pager. “Why?” the blonde whined, dragging a pillow over her face. She just wanted to have sex with her wife. Was that too much to ask?

“It's the NICU.” Apparently it was.

Sitting up, Arizona grumped at her partner. “Where'd you throw my pants?” Callie pulled them up onto the bed and grinned at her proudly. “What's that look for?” asked Arizona petulantly. Callie just kissed her, licking her bottom lip softly before she leaned back. “We weren't done in here.”

“Well you'll just have to hurry home in the morning,” Callie hummed.

Arizona shimmied back into her clothes and stood up to search for her shoes. “You know I will.”

“Do you want me to wait up?”

Arizona sent her a look over her shoulder. “Of course not. You go to bed and I'll be there when you wake up.”

“Will you wake me up if you need me?” She knew what a page to the NICU likely meant, and what it would mean for Arizona. “Promise me,” she coaxed when Arizona just chewed her lip instead of saying anything. “Whatever you want when you get home, I'm there, just wake me up, okay?”

Arizona's tongue peeked out to wet her lips. “Okay,” she agreed softly. “And if I want to pick up where we left off here?”

Callie just smiled slowly, lounging on their narrow bunk with her torso leaned up on one arm, utterly sexy without even trying. And how had she come without getting _any_ of her lover's clothes off? “I said whatever you want, I'm there,” the brunette reminded her. “Now you go be awesome and I'll be waiting.”

“I love you.”

Closing the on-call room door behind her, she was Dr. Robbins again, not simply Arizona the way she was with her wife. The NICU was quiet despite the 911 page she'd received. They all knew what was coming, it had been coming for a long time. Morgan's infant son had been dying a bit at a time since the day he'd been born so terribly early. And every day she'd been on this case Arizona had been grateful that Sofia had been born smoothly.

Today was the end of Morgan's hellish waiting, hope long gone from her mind. There was only one way for this situation to end and this was the day she would have to face it. Alex was just inside the doors, arms across his chest while he watched Morgan crying over the baby in her arms. It was the first time Tommy hadn't been covered in tubes and wires, the first time his mother had gotten to hold him without sleeves and gloves and a plastic dome.

Arizona took up a spot next to her protege, breathing quietly and leaning against the glass wall beside him. Neither spoke but she looked up at him to meet his eyes. Alex Karev was a good doctor, a good man, good with their patients, standing up for the kids when they couldn't do it for themselves, just the way she'd taught him. The one thing he'd always struggled with was relating to the parents, dealing with the inevitable adults that came along with treating children. But the look on his face right now was perfect empathy that she'd never been able to teach him. This was now his nightmare the way it was hers. Because they were parents, no longer just roommates and drinking buddies, but with something so much bigger and better in common.

So she didn't say anything about him skipping the night out he'd bargained for to be here, just stood quietly at his side and watched Morgan try and say goodbye to her child. It was something she'd been struggling to do herself for months. And she'd gotten through the initial grief, gotten back to her calling at work, saving the lives of children without the stabbing reminder that she'd lost her own child debilitating her. And reconnecting with Callie was another step in them getting their life back together. Watching another mother lose her child made her insides freeze and twist and _ache_. But this was the reality of her job, the work she'd chosen to do. But it wasn't _her_ reality anymore. She'd lost her child and it was terrible, a horrible thing that she could never forget. But she couldn't let it become something that controlled her future. She had a family, a wife, a beautiful daughter. They had an amazing life to live.

“How's Addie?” she whispered, eyes locked on the tableau of grief across the room.

Alex sighed, his shoulders slouching a little so they were closer to the same level. “They're healthy.” His gaze flicked to her. “Callie and Sof?”

“They're perfect,” breathed Arizona. “Stupid question but how's Morgan?” He just grunted softly. “Yeah,” she sighed, her arm brushing his as she settled against the glass wall.

“You okay?” he checked. He deliberately didn't check on her normally, sure that that was a quick, surefire way to end up losing his cases. But this was not a normal circumstance and she was his friend.

She didn't snap at him or flinch, just breathed deeply and thought about her answer. Standing here and watching a young woman lose her baby, was she okay? On a fundamental level, no, she would never be okay with watching a child die. But it didn't destroy her personally either. It didn't shatter her the way losing her own child had shattered her.

“I'm alright,” she murmured. And she was, which surprised her. She was a doctor and she wasn't going to win every case, and they'd fought this one but had lost. And that wasn't fair. But it was something she had worked through after cases a hundred times.

Morgan's grief was private but Arizona and Alex kept their posts by the door, offering silent support for the mourning mother.

Arizona wasn't sure what she was expecting when she got home in the morning, but she found another mourning mother, Callie curled up under a blanket on the couch when she came in, an open volume filled with pictures of an infant Sofia in her lap. The blonde approached slowly, coming around the couch by her feet and taking a seat. “Hey,” she greeted her spouse softly. “You okay?” she asked when bleary brown eyes found her. “Did something happen?” One hand rubbed gently at a blanket covered calf.

“How'd it go tonight?”

“It was rough. Morgan's a wreck,” Arizona answered her honestly, breathing deeply. “How are you?” Callie didn't say anything and Arizona moved closer. “Honey...”

“I know it was all flirty and sexy and stuff yesterday,” Callie started, eyes dropping to the empty mug she had left on the coffee table. “But...”

“Hush,” Arizona prompted her, shaking her head. “I understand.” Arizona leaned forward and caught her eyes, able to see the redness that meant Callie had been crying.

“I missed you. And I knew what you were at the hospital doing and I started thinking...”

“You don't have to explain” Arizona murmured, one hand sliding over her cheek softly. “What do you have there?” she asked, nodding at the book in Callie's hands. She didn't need to ask, she knew exactly what it was.

Callie shifted, sitting up against the armrest of the sofa. “Want to look at it with me?” Arizona shifted wordlessly up to sit in the space in front of her. Leaning forward Callie rested her chin on her partner's shoulder so she could see the book. Arizona's hand flipped them back to the beginning, a candid picture of Callie at two months pregnant. “I can't believe I let you keep this in here. I'm not even wearing makeup! And I wasn't even dressed...”

Smirking, Arizona laughed to herself. “I love this picture! That's why I took it! You look amazing with no makeup.”

“And ratty pajamas?”

“Especially in ratty pjs,” the blonde declared insistently. She turned her head to take a soft kiss. “You're beautiful.” She turned the page to find the first ultrasound and another picture of Callie, more obviously pregnant but not by much. “You looked better and better every month,” Arizona mused, remembering very clearly how enraptured she'd been with Callie's rapidly changing body during her pregnancy. There hadn't been time for her own body to change all that much before there'd been no more pregnancy.

Callie kissed her shoulder, knowing what her partner was thinking. She'd been thinking the same things all night. “Remember seeing her heartbeat on that screen?”

“Changed my life,” Arizona murmured, one of Callie's hands sliding over the top of her thigh.

“Scariest second of my life,” added Callie softly. “Until Addison came into the waiting room.” Arizona went stiff against her. “Until I thought I lost you.”

Arizona forced a hoarse sound, something like a laugh, one hand rubbing the hand Callie had on her leg. “Just wait until the first time Sof breaks something,” she said, feeling Callie's warm puff of breath on her neck.

“Oh, don't even say it,” Callie huffed, groaning. She was going to be a hot mess when she had to let someone else set her baby's bones. She pinched her wife's thigh. “Mean.” It had worked though, distracting her nicely from more morose thoughts.

Arizona turned the page to a picture of the two of them, both in scrubs and their caps and leaning against the wall outside the OR. She brushed her fingers over the visible bump at Callie's middle in the picture. “Do you remember this?” she asked, because she didn't.

Callie ducked her face to inhale against Arizona’s shoulder. “There was that big pileup on the highway, we were all called in. I hadn't been feeling all that hot though and you wanted me to stay home.”

“And you looked like you were going to faint through that whole surgery,” Arizona recalled, head nudging Callie's lightly.

“I didn’t though.”

“I spent the whole time trying to figure out how I could possibly catch you if you'd fallen,” she sighed.

“My hero,” Callie hummed against her ear, arms hugging her. “Turn to the next one. It's her six month ultrasound.” She slapped a hand to cover the right hand page. “And I looked like a whale!” she cried too loudly, Arizona laughing.

“You did not! You have never _not_ been stunning,” she insisted stubbornly, pulling her wife's hand away so she could see the picture, lacing their fingers and replacing them on her own leg. “Look at you! You looked amazing!”

Callie snorted in denial. “I don't know how you slept with that.”

“Happily,” Arizona answered her lightly. “Eagerly. Often,” she rattled off. “You are sexy as all hell with my baby inside you,” she declared. Callie's next snort was a restrained laugh. “What? You are!” She took another appreciative look at the pictures of mother and unborn baby before she obliged and turned the page.

They sat in silence and turned pages, watching the progression of Sofia's growth, Callie's pregnancy, the things they'd wanted to see for their second child, in the pictures. Without realizing it Callie's hand drifted up to stroke her wife's stomach, drawing circles on the soft cotton of her shirt. They reached the last page, their own tired faces beaming up from the book, a widely yawning Sofia snuggled safely in Callie's arm.

“I wanted another one so badly,” Callie sighed, blinking at the picture. “And I know you did too...”

“Honey...”

“No, I know, I'm not, I know what happened,” she cut off Arizona gently. “I'm just saying, I wanted to see you get to feel all of that. I wanted another one of these books, and to look at them with you and not cry.” Callie took a deep breath, calming herself through the comforting contact with Arizona. “We're getting there, right? Today was just a bad night.”

“Yes, sweetheart,” Arizona said immediately, turning her head to meet dark eyes. “Yes, we're getting better.” She studied her partner's face for a long moment, leaning in to kiss her lips softly. “Come on. Let's get you in bed and we can talk until Sofia wakes up.” Callie let herself be helped up, leaning into the arm Arizona wrapped around her. “Did you sleep at all?”

“Not well, but yeah.”

They crawled into bed on top of the covers, Callie turning onto her front and hugging both arms around her pillow. Arizona didn't say anything, just toed off her shoes and laid beside her on her back. Callie's night of being upset had a clear cause so she didn't need to ask. “I'm sorry I couldn't be here tonight.”

“Don't apologize. You're here now and we've got maybe forty-five minutes before Sofia wakes up. Can we just sleep?” Callie asked, voice muffled by the pillow.

“Of course,” Arizona murmured, turning onto her side to get more comfortable. She didn't sleep though, keeping her eyes closed until Callie's breathing fell into her sleeping rhythm. While she'd been at the hospital dealing with her own thoughts and feelings about losing her baby and watching Morgan go through the same thing Callie had been at home coping with the same thoughts.

Callie had been amazing through all of this, her rock. Of course, they'd had bad days that they dealt with together. She'd cried on Callie, Callie had cried on her. That tonight had had an affect on Callie wasn't a surprise. Arizona watched her sleep, something she always protested when she caught Callie watching her sleep. It was nice though, seeing her lover's face relaxed and peaceful. She looked like an angel. They'd overcome their grief together but hadn't talked about their future, about what losing the baby meant for their family. She and Callie and Sofia were a family, but before they'd lost the baby they'd wanted to expand that family, bring more of their love into the world. They would have to decide together if that was something they still wanted.

And because she was watching Arizona saw Callie's eyes move under their lids as she started to wake up. She turned onto her back and waited.

“Do you think you want to try again? Babies, I mean? And I mean ever? Not now, or anything.” She only spoke when Callie's eyes flicked open for a split second.

Callie didn't pick her head up, just turned it so her face wasn't in the pillow. She could see blonde hair, trace her partner's profile with her eyes, but blue irises were pointing upwards toward their bedroom ceiling. Could she handle the possibility of losing another child? Could she risk feeling like _this_ again? For the first time in her life, she wasn't sure about having a baby. They had decided not to have kids before, because Arizona had been scared of raising a child, had been scared of just this thing, of having a child and losing them, of feeling like this.

And they'd ended up having a wonderful, perfect, sweetheart little girl that brightened the world for not only her parents but everyone in their lives. Arizona had worked through her fears, trusted in her, in their relationship, enough to change her mind. Arizona was the strongest person she knew. And the way she loved her... unbelievable, indescribable. 

As long as she had Arizona at her side, anything was possible. “I think so,” she whispered, Arizona's head rocking over to meet her eyes. She could do it if Arizona could. “If you wanted to. Someday. We could try again.”

“But you're not devastated if we don't?”

She shook her head against the pillow, sighing. “You and Sofia are more than enough for me,” Callie said softly. “More of us would be good. More of you.” She tugged one hand free to drag her fingers across her wife's cheek. “I need you though, Arizona. And we have Sofia...”

“She's perfect,” Arizona agreed. “And I'm never going anywhere.” Callie let go of her pillow and shuffled sideways to replace the pillow under her head with the blonde's shoulder, one arm and leg thrown heavily over her. Arizona didn't protest, just curled the arm under her to stroke dark hair. “I'm right here,” she promised.


	17. Chapter 17

“You know it's completely wrong to sneak away from a baby shower to have sex, right?” Arizona couldn't even pretend innocence. She knew she'd been less than subtle in how she'd been looking at her wife. Addison just smirked at her friend over the lip of her glass (of water instead of the coffee and wine the others were indulging in). “And this is your house. It's just rude to ditch a party you're hosting.”

Arizona didn't pull her eyes away from Callie's legs, occupied with tracing the seam of her partner's jeans. “I'm not ditching the party,” she denied. “Just looking.” Her wife looked especially gorgeous, playing outside with Sofia, Zola, Tuck, and Tim, the two adults coordinating a rambunctious game of monkey in the middle with the children of their guests.

“She is really pretty,” Addison agreed mildly, one hand rubbing at her bump and feeling her baby kick and move.

“She's breathtaking,” corrected Arizona. She breathed deeply, looking through the kitchen window. “She's stunning.”

Addison smiled to herself. Arizona wasn't noticing anything but her wife. “You're making me jealous. Why'd Alex have to work? I want someone to say nice things about me.”

Rolling her eyes, the blonde turned to look at her friend, deliberately putting her back to the window. “You're glowing. You happy?”

The other woman laughed and shook her head. “No offense, but that didn't exactly do anything for me.”

Arizona grinned at her. “Good, because my wife does occasionally get jealous.”

“And you don't _love_ that?” Addison countered teasingly. Arizona couldn't deny it, just blushed. “Thought so.”

A winded Callie came in through the back door a moment later, breezing past Arizona to get to the fridge and retrieve a bottle of water. “Those kids are hyper,” she panted after her first long chug, smiling at the pair. The faint tinge of pink in her wife's cheeks was intriguing when she spotted it. Arizona didn't usually blush. “What are you two talking about?”

Blonde and redhead exchanged teasing looks, Arizona daring her friend to say anything. “Your wife's got a bit of a crush, actually,” Addison declared.

Callie didn't do more than smirk, sipping on her water again. “Oh yeah? A crush, huh? Do I have something to be worried about?” she asked lightly, eyes twinkling at the renewed blush on Arizona's cheeks.

Shrugging, Addison grinned. “I would say no. It's on you.” Arizona's cheeks warmed suddenly, white teeth chewing on her lip as she ducked her head to avoid the other women's gazes. “She's a smitten kitten, Callie.”

“Yeah?” Arizona glanced at her shyly, dimples peeking out. Callie smiled sweetly and crooked two fingers at her, drawing the blonde across the room to her. Arizona's arms slipped around her waist and she leaned into Callie, strong arms wrapping her up, holding her close. “I'd say I'm fairly smitten myself. I mean, she's pretty damn cute.”

The redhead made a show of rolling her eyes. “Oh, you two just make me...” She mimed gagging. “Now _I'm_ kind of jealous,” she declared, shaking her head at them. “Come on. We need to play another game,” directed the guest of honor as she left the kitchen.

Callie didn't let her partner go immediately though, hands sliding down her back. “You're still smitten, hmm?” Arizona stuck her tongue out at her. “Like I said, damn cute,” Callie stated. “You know, I know this is a baby shower, and the day's about Addison,” two fingers came up to brush a strand of blonde hair back, “but I pretty much just want to throw you over my shoulder and take you upstairs and...” Her voice was low and she trailed off, dark eyes taking in her wife's features.

“And?” Arizona asked leadingly, a crooked smirk on her lips.

Callie took a deep breath and leaned in, making Arizona’s breath hitch. Callie's mouth next to her ear made her tighten, her body flooding with anticipation. “I want to fuck you, Arizona. Throw you down in our bed and not let you out of it for hours.”

The blonde swallowed hard, eyes closing as Callie's words washed over her, warm lips brushing her earlobe. She jumped when Callie sucked on the lobe for a far too short second. “It's like you're reading my mind,” she confessed. “Watching you playing with the kids, you're so beautiful, Calliope.”

“Hey, lovebirds! Knock it off!” Addison called from the other room, her tone playful.

Hands moved to squeeze Arizona's ass instead of releasing her. “We'll continue this talk later,” Callie said, not a question. She squeezed the covered flesh under her hands and lifted, pulling her partner into her by the hips. She didn't say anything more, just kissed her, starting slow and letting her tongue push forward to deepen the connection. 

Arizona moaned, dragging her own hands over the back of her wife's neck, fingertips playing in dark hair. “Sooner rather than later,” she promised, taking a final quick kiss. Reluctantly she dragged Callie's hand off her butt. “I swear,” she reiterated when Callie pouted at her, making her want nothing more than to push her back against the fridge and keep kissing her. “You have to help me here,” she pleaded in a low voice. If Callie didn't step back she wasn't going to move away from her.

“Hey! This is my baby shower, not your make out time!” Addison called from beyond the swinging door. “Get your butts in here!”

They couldn't help laughing, Callie stepping away with a sheepish grin. “We're adults. We can keep our hands to ourselves for a few more hours,” she reasoned.

“Do you think we're having so much sex to avoid talking?” Arizona asked, straightening her shirt's hem almost nervously.

Callie just arched a brow at her. They'd been in some kind of renewed honeymoon phase, ready and willing anytime of the day or night. But they hadn't stopped talking. They'd never been more open or honest with each other in their relationship. “Honey, all we do when we're not being awesome surgeons and even more awesome parents is talk to each other and have sex.” She laughed, slinging one arm around her partner's shoulders to usher her out of the kitchen and rejoin the party. “We're doing this all right, sweetness.” Arizona smiled sheepishly and Callie pulled her in to kiss the side of her head. “If you say we are, we're doing just fine. Okay?”

Licking her lips, Arizona nodded. “Okay. I love you,” she offered as they rejoined the group, Callie's smile answering her more clearly than saying the words ever could.

“So, now that we're all finally _here_ ,” Addison started, pointed but grinning. The expression slid off her face before she could continue though, one hand moving to cover her belly suddenly. She bolted from the room before anyone could say anything. Frowning at each other, Callie nodded her head after the redhead for Arizona to follow her.

The Peds surgeon found her friend in the bathroom, the door shut tight between them. “Addie, what's up?” she asked, knocking lightly and keeping her voice low. The knob turned and the bathroom door opened only a crack, Arizona peeking her head in cautiously. “Are you okay?” Addison didn't say anything and Arizona opened her mouth to ask again. “Oh shit,” came out instead as she realized several things at once – Addison's regulated breathing, the way she was holding herself up on the towel rod, and the slowly growing dark spot on her non-slip rug. “Calliope,” she called over her shoulder, raising her voice but keeping her tone steady. “Maybe we should call an ambulance,” she advised when her wife joined her at the door.

Callie's eyes went wide and she reflexively stood on her toes to get a glimpse of the laboring woman behind Arizona. “Okay. You okay, with her?” she checked, already sliding her phone out of her pocket.

“I got it,” Arizona promised with a nod and a strained smile. “And could you call Alex after the EMTs are on the way?”

Callie smiled, nodding herself. “I'll tell him you're with her.” It might be the only thing that could calm the soon-to-be father's mind, knowing that his girlfriend and their baby were in Arizona's hands.

“Arizona.” The gasp from behind them was the end of their conversation, the Peds surgeon turning her attention to her friend.

Taking a step back from the door but keeping her eyes on the goings on in her bathroom, Callie listened to the brief wait for an operator. Her wife was an amazing woman. Arizona was a whiz at everything she did, even reassuring and helping her friend through her contractions. “Hi, yes, I need an ambulance at 1850 Revello Drive. A thirty-seven week pregnant woman has gone into labor. She's stable though, it's still early, and she's with a Pediatric surgeon until you get here.”

The operator assured her that an ambulance was on the way and she hung up, not needing to stay on the line while they waited. Arizona was keeping the expectant mother calm and she felt positive that they could keep everything under control until their ride arrived.

“Okay, we'll be on the road in just a few minutes,” Callie assured them through the doorway. “Addie, you need anything? Honey, you good?”

Arizona looked up at her from her place at Addison's side, rubbing her friend's back with one hand while the other was being squeezed tight in her friend's grasp. “I think the party's over. Maybe some privacy?” she suggested, Addison too busy fighting her way through her next contraction to speak.

“I'm on it,” Callie promised, slipping her phone back into her pocket. “You guys just hang in there.”

Excusing the guests, making sure anyone who'd been indulging in wine had a ride home, freed the driveway up just in time for the EMTs arrival, lights flashing but no siren. Two men jumped out of the back of the rig and Callie waved for them to follow her into the house. “This way, guys.”

They moved in to help but Addison wouldn't release Arizona's hand and Callie let them retreat back outside, grinning when her wife sent her an apologetic look even as she climbed into the ambulance with a now groaning Addison. She turned when the siren brought Tim and Sofia around the house.

“Where's Mama?” Distress in her tone made it clear that the little girl had seen the ambulance leave with her mother inside and Callie caught her as Sofia ran as if to chase it.

“Honey, it's okay. Mama had to go with Aunt Addison. She's having her baby and she wanted Mama with her, okay?” Callie explained, bouncing her daughter on her hip. “Because your Mama's the best, you know?”

Still sniffling Sofia nodded dutifully. If anyone asked her, her mother was practically a superhero. “Mama's going to help Aunt Addie and the baby?”

“Of course she is!” Callie said, amping up the enthusiasm for her daughter's sake. “And we'll get to go later and you can see your new baby cousin. That will be cool, right?”

“I guess,” she said, still looking down the street after the ambulance.

“Hey, come on,” coaxed Callie. “We still have to beat Uncle T at the game with the swing and the jumping, don't we?”

Sofia perked up and Tim grinned from behind Callie. “Ooh, yeah! Let's go!”

Tim waited to follow them back around the house, Sofia jumping down and rushing toward her swing set. “Everything's okay? Addison?”

“She's a little early, but it should be just fine.”

And it was, Arizona meeting Callie and Sofia at the doors to the delivery ward. Callie gave her a look at the presence of her wife's scrub cap on her head though. “She wouldn’t let me out of the delivery room is all,” she explained, shrugging sheepishly.

“Didn't Alex get there? He didn't miss it, did he?” asked Callie, immediately concerned. She didn't know what she would have done without Arizona there to hold her hand during her delivery. And her first look at her baby, the look on Arizona's face when she'd taken Sofia in her arms, they were memories she wouldn't give up for anything.

Arizona laughed, slapping hands with Sofia in greeting. “No, he was there too. He kind of looked like he was going to faint or fall over though, so I had to stay to keep him on his feet.” Sofia grinned, pleased with the thought of her mother holding her uncle up.

“Everybody's okay, aren't they?” Callie checked, shaking her head at her adorable girls. Damn it, she was lucky. “Addie and the baby? Alex didn't fall?”

“Everyone is fine.” Arizona’s dimples popped as she smiled. “Mother and son are healthy and resting and Daddy's busy showing pictures of the little man to every nurse, patient, and parent up on Peds,” she reported, her own tone pleased and proud. Alex had come a long way since their residency. Sofia caught Arizona's hand, still holding Callie's in her other, and pulled her parents along as she lead the way to find her new baby cousin. 

As far as Alex had come, so had she. Married to the woman of her dreams, the love of her life, with their daughter growing more amazing by the day.

“Calliope.” Callie's eyes found her own and Arizona took a deep breath. “I want more.”

Dark brows furrowed, confusion in her expression. “More what?”

“More of her,” Arizona said, head nodding toward Sofia in clarification. Brown eyes went wide and she chewed on her lip, suddenly nervous. “We can talk... later?” Arizona added hopefully. Later at home, in bed, maybe after a few glasses of wine...

Callie had to swallow the lump in her throat before she could speak. “Sure.” She coughed lightly. “Yeah.”

“Mama!” Sofia's bark drew their attention, their little girl still tugging them along. “Where's the baby? I wanna see it.”

“Him,” Arizona corrected her gently, smiling sideways at Callie. The answering smile she got made her whole body feel like it was floating, her heart jumping in her chest. “He's a little boy.”

“What's his name?” Sofia questioned, peeking into open rooms as they walked.

“His name is Adam.”

“Hey, Adam! Where are you?” called Sofia loudly, marching them more quickly down the hall.

“Right here, baby,” Arizona instructed her with a patient smile. “The next one.”

“And we don't yell in the hospital,” Callie added. Sofia's first move inside Addison's hospital room was to attempt to clamber up onto the bed and she scooped an arm around her daughter's middle, picking her up so she could see the baby without any risk of injury. “Sit still and you can see him,” she said, hooking an arm under Sofia's bottom and hoisting her.

“Hey,” Addison croaked hoarsely in greeting, smiling tiredly at her guests. “What do you think, Sofia?”

Her parents grinned at each other over her head, Sofia hanging onto the edge of the bassinet to get a look at her new cousin. He blinked up at the floating heads, green eyes wide. Then he yawned and Sofia laughed. “He's all smooshy,” she said, giggling. “Can I touch him?”

“Very gently,” coached Arizona. “And don't touch his face. Just touch his hands.”

Sofia obeyed carefully, gingerly rubbing one finger up and down his forearm. He turned his hand over and grasped her fingertip, making the little girl gasp excitedly, her eyes shooting up to make sure the adults had seen what had just happened. “He likes me! Mama, Mami, you see? He's got my finger!”

“We see, sweetie.” The women exchanged smiles. “Addie, how are you doing?”

The redhead stretched, moaning tiredly. “Tired, but it was so worth it.” Her smile went dopey and soft. “Hey.”

Alex slipped into the room and went straight for the baby, scooping up his son and grinning. The look of amazed wonder on his face was familiar and Callie glanced sideways at her wife, who was looking at their daughter with a similar look in her eyes. “Hey, if you're really, _really_ careful maybe Uncle A will let you sit with him and Adam,” Callie suggested quietly, Alex looking up from his baby with a smile.

“Sure,” he agreed. “Come here, Sofia.”

Moving closer to the bedside, Arizona exchange an exaggerated look of surprise with Addison. “I have _never_ seen him like that.”

“He's been amazing,” Addison said, smiling fondly at her boyfriend.

“And he makes a pretty cute baby,” Callie chimed in, the other women laughing at the comment.

“Seriously! Look at him!” agreed Addison, not clarifying which he she was referring to.

“I know I said it earlier, but congratulations,” Arizona told her sincerely, her voice warm as she squeezed her friend's shoulder. Callie's arm slid around her waist and she leaned into the contact, silently watching their children interact. The only sound came when Sofia and Alex laughed at something Adam did.


	18. Chapter 18

Her heartbeat pounding through her head was the only thing Callie could hear, the thumping outpacing the rhythm of Arizona's slow, deep thrusts. Her wife was a genius at driving her crazy. “Please,” she gasped out, pleading for release. Fingers curled inside her but she was left dancing on the edge of bliss. “Please... Arizona...”

On her knees on top of her, pelvises flush together with Arizona’s fingers the only thing between them, the blonde simply smiled, her breathing ragged. Slowly rocking hips added a depth to her moving hand, as well as providing her with just enough pressure on her own clit to make her orgasm grow and swell without breaking through her.

Callie dropped her face into a sweaty neck, sucking on the salty flesh for a moment before she broke the contact for a new breath. “Please, you feel so good,” she panted desperately.

“Shh, I've got you,” Arizona promised, breathing hard herself. “You know how beautiful you are? Calliope...” She turned her face in to catch Callie's lips, moaning at the passionate response she got. Callie's hands on her back dragged downward, making her hips jump and disturbing her slow and steady rhythm.

“Yes!” The deeper plunge drove Callie closer but not over, the gasp becoming a moan of protest when Arizona’s fingers didn't withdraw for the next thrust but planted deep inside her.

Arizona could feel the hot breath washing over her neck, the sweat on her skin sliding down her neck, her abdomen, to join the wetness between their legs. Callie was tight all over, trembling in her arms, but she hadn't come, was dancing and dangling right on the edge. “I want to put a baby here.”

“Holy – fuck!” Callie came with a gasping moan, unable to help herself at her wife's words. Heat like lightning streamed through her veins, heart pounding in her head fading into white noise, nothing distinguishable from her bliss. Arizona's lips on her face, her ear, her neck, were the first thing to fade back into existence and Callie hooked both hands under her wife's thighs, leaning forward so they tumbled backwards.

Once Arizona was under her she wasted no time, kissing a scattered path down her body and throwing both legs open wide. Arizona moaned loudly and Callie spared a thought to be grateful that Sofia was sleeping over with Zola at the Shepherd's house in the woods, miles out of range of hearing her make Arizona noisy. Hips rocked against her face and it was clear that it wouldn't take much. And if the blonde hadn't just said what she'd said Callie might have considered dragging it out the way it had been dragged out on her, but she couldn't do it. Not when she was married to the most incredible, most amazing, most awesome person on the planet.

One hand flat on her stomach held her still, Callie's mouth eagerly helping her toward orgasm and then licking and sucking and helping her through it. A nose nuzzled her thigh as she came down, Callie kissing the inside of her leg before crawling up the bed to flop bonelessly into the musky, tangled sheets beside her. “Wow...”

“Damn right!” the brunette agreed, still breathing hard.

Laughing, Arizona rolled onto her side (from the waist up at least, her legs weren't exactly cooperating with her brain yet) to kiss a sweaty shoulder, one hand trailing down Callie's back. “We definitely need to clean these sheets,” she mumbled against the skin. “And take a shower. You're all sticky.”

Callie's hand reached blindly over to slide down Arizona's stomach and between her legs. “Because I'm the only one here who is sticky?” she asked smugly before she withdrew her hand and licked her fingers clean.

“I didn't say that,” Arizona countered playfully, one hand pushing lightly at Callie's slick shoulder. “I like you like this. It's hot.”

Turning her face into the pillow Callie smiled, trying to catch her breath. Arizona succeeded in getting her legs to curl but didn't move further, satisfied with that small bit of success. One brown eye peeked open to watch her, trailing over her features.

“Did you mean what you said?”

Arizona blinked at the question, tongue peeking out to wet her lips. “The thing about a baby?” Callie's head tilted imperceptibly. “Yes.” She breathed deep, holding it for a second. “Is that something you could want?”

Moving slowly, Callie pulled her arms under her, leaning up on her elbows once she was sure she had enough strength back to manage holding herself up. “More kids? With you?”

“Well you're sure as hell not getting knocked up by anyone else,” Arizona declared, smirking up at her.

Smiling, Callie shook her head. “We want to have more kids?” And now, or soon? Because it had been four months since Addison and Alex had had their son, more than a year since they'd lost their own baby. They talked, were closer and more honest with each other than any relationship she'd ever had. She could tell her wife anything. And she loved Arizona Robbins more than she'd ever dreamed possible. A year ago when she'd held her wife in the hospital bed and wept out their grief she was sure she couldn't possibly love her more, but she did. Every single day she fell more in love with her partner, with their daughter, with the life they shared and the family they were building.

“We do if you say we do.” Arizona fell onto her back and Callie shifted to move closer.

“I didn't think you were ready,” Callie admitted, dark eyes focusing on the pulse she could see beating steadily under pale skin. She dropped her head to kiss it softly. Fingers curled through her hair, rubbing gently at her scalp.

“That's what you said last time,” countered Arizona, an amused tone in her voice. Callie was amazing. She had no doubt whatsoever that her wife would do anything for her. “I want more kids, Calliope. With you. Our kids.”

That sounded perfect, she would love that, absolutely, but there were things Callie needed clarified. “I don't know if we – I don't want you – nothing can happen-”

“Sweetie, shh,” Arizona whispered. All of her checkups and tests had been clean since Addison had removed her tumor. She was the picture of health. “I know. Nothing is going to happen to me. I know I probably can't carry the next one,” Callie shook her head in denial, looking into her eyes seriously, “but you could, and we should have more. I mean, Sofia is perfect...”

“She is. And I adore you, you know that?” Arizona touched her face softly, thumb dragging across her brow. “And we should have more, you're right, we should.”

“As cute as our kids turn out, we'd be doing the next generation a favor having more,” Arizona agreed, teasing lightly. “Just wait until Sofia starts dating.”

Groaning, Callie swatted her wife's arm. “That's not even funny!” She dropped her head into Arizona's shoulder and her voice was muffled.

“I know we normally take turns being crazy, but whenever she's out on her first date...”

“Oh yeah,” Callie agreed without waiting for Arizona to finish her statement. “We can both be crazy that night.” Turning her head, she snuggled in closer to her wife. “What time are we supposed to pick her up from Meredith's anyway? Or were they dropping her off? And do we have time to go again before that?”

Arizona moaned, body stretching. “We're picking her up. And I told Mer we'd take the girls out for lunch, give her and Derek a minute of peace.”

Callie's head popped up. “So you're saying we only have time for another round if we do it in the shower?”

Grinning, Arizona nodded. “That's what I'm saying,” she agreed happily. One of Callie's hands was already on her right breast, thumb rolling her nipple. Unconsciously her head rose to try and meet full lips. She wasn't sure she could remember anymore kissing anyone but Callie. The way Callie kissed her, the feel of her lips, the taste of her tongue, had wiped all of the others out of her mind entirely ages ago. And she didn't miss any of it, only wanted her future with the woman beside her. Because it was going to be awesome.

But Callie didn't meet her lips for longer than a swift peck, sliding off the bed entirely too quickly. Anytime she was naked and moving it should be in some kind of slow motion if Arizona had anything to say about it. Callie was grinning at her from the bathroom doorway, black waves of hair and miles of skin on display, and her heart was suddenly pounding again. Shuffling toward her across the rumpled sheet, Arizona could feel her hands itching to touch her again.

“Do you understand what you do to me?” the blonde asked, her voice low and breathy.

Callie just smiled sweetly. “Come over here and I'll show you what you do to me,” she promised. The smile went teasing and Arizona wasn't sure she'd ever crossed their bedroom so fast before.

One hand slid across Callie's cheek, tongue already plundering her wife's mouth, feet moving them toward the shower. Sweat from their first encounter made her skin slide against Callie's as they kissed, the brunette moaning against her lips as they stepped and stumbled toward the shower.

Callie shoved the handle for the water control (thankfully toward the warm setting) as she was propelled backwards, but Arizona was the one who touched the cool tile wall first, the brunette spinning them and slowing their kiss down. Steam was quickly clouding around them, the slickness of water on their skin different from the salty slip of sweat. And the wetness between Arizona's thighs was something else entirely. Touching Arizona like this made her feel lightheaded, heart pounding too fast. “Mngh.” Arizona's moaning groan against her mouth made her quiver.

“I know, I'm here,” Callie promised, panting the words into her lover's ear. Water beat around their heads and she couldn't help kissing her again, fingers moving against her center, slipping shallowly inside. “Open your eyes, look at me,” she breathed.

Blue eyes fought their way open and they were all Callie could see, her entire world at that moment. Two fingers slid home and Arizona's mouth fell open as she breathed jaggedly. “Calliope...” Callie kissed her again and her eyes fell closed. Callie's heart was in her eyes. It took her breath away.

“Look at me,” Callie pleaded again. “I love you so much. Look at me, please.” Arizona knew exactly how much Callie loved her, knew she'd see it in those dark eyes that she adored, and she knew that she'd come the second she did. “Come for me, Arizona.”

Or that would do it.

Callie pressed her into the wall as the pleasure overcame her, holding her steady while her fingers stroked still more bliss from her with an expert touch. She forced her eyes open as she started to come down, seeing the loving lust in her partner's eyes. “Hey,” Callie greeted her in a quiet tone. She leaned in to suck water off fair skin, nuzzling against her cheek before she leaned back again.

“Hey,” Arizona echoed. “So, that was...” Callie grinned knowingly. “You're amazing.”

“I know.” 

The cocky grin on her lips was irresistible and Arizona had to lean in and kiss her. The steam was still clouding around them and Arizona slid her fingers through dripping dark waves. Callie's tongue pushed forward and she answered it, gripping black hair tightly with both hands. “We're going to run out of hot water, aren't we?” she asked, another kiss forestalling an answer.

Callie pulled on her bottom lip as she withdrew. “Well, I wouldn't want you to get all pruney, princess,” she teased, laughing when it earned her a swat to the arm from her partner. “You want to get my back and I'll get yours?” It was their usual ritual whenever they showered together (especially when they spent more time on sex than on washing themselves).

Arizona stood on her toes, pecking a kiss to full lips. “Turn around.”

The whole time they were getting dressed Arizona kept sneaking glances at her partner but never said anything, smiling whenever she was caught but not saying a word. Still silent, they drove to the Shepherd's house, Callie humming along to the radio.

Sofia and her best buddy Zola were more than happy to expend some energy at the park, their lunches half eaten on the park bench where Callie and Arizona sat watching and enjoying their meal a little more slowly than the little girls. 

Arizona's fingers brushed Callie's as her partner stole chips from her bag. Their eyes met and she smiled almost shyly. “So...”

“Yes?” Callie coaxed, bringing her pilfered snack to her mouth slowly. She knew perfectly well what her wife wanted to talk about. She was having trouble putting it out of her mind herself. And watching their first amazing child playing only helped her imagination.

“Do we want to use the same donor, or...?”

Callie's smile widened as she crunched on her pilfered chip. “I want whatever you want.”

“Don't do that,” Arizona requested playfully. “I'm being serious, Calliope.”

“So am I,” Callie said, stealing another chip. “Are you going to make me quit coffee again?” Blue eyes rolled instead of a verbal answer. “Figures...”

“You're also banned from sinkholes,” Arizona declared, bumping her with an elbow and sending a crooked smirk her way. “Calliope...”

“Any kids we have,” Callie's hand took Arizona’s and guided it to her stomach, “any baby that is here, that baby's parents are you and me, you got that? The rest of the details, I want whatever you want,” she repeated herself, leaning over to drop a kiss on her wife's cheek.

Sofia squealed as Zola turned a quick corner around a tree and slipped and slid as she tried to catch up, drawing both of her mothers' eyes at the noise. Arizona tensed as if to move but their daughter was immediately on her feet and giving chase, making her mother relax. “She would be such a good big sister,” the blonde said, eyes still on her baby girl. Sofia was beyond adorable with her little cousins, learning to be patient and kind as she interacted with the smaller boys, teaching Luke and Theo how to hold little Adam. Arizona couldn't wait to see how she was with a little brother or sister of her own.

“She will be,” Callie agreed warmly, moving the rest of her lunch out of her lap and sliding over to curl an arm through Arizona's, resting her head on her partner's shoulder. “And you – Arizona, you're the best mother in the world.”

A soft smile graced her lips over Callie's head and Arizona turned her face to kiss dark hair. “Maybe the second best,” she conceded. “We for sure have the best kid, though.”

“Absolutely,” Callie agreed, leaning into her and lacing their fingers. “And we'll have more.”

“And they'll be awesome.”


End file.
